Thought-Provoking

A while ago, I bought the book The Shack with intentions of sitting down and reading straight through it. My purchase was prompted by a conversation with a super dear friend of mine... sparked my interest, so I thought I'd give it a go.

However, I started reading, cried more than I expected in the first 3 chapters, and so stopped reading. I think I thought I knew what was coming, and I didn't want to read about it... so I just didn't. Book sat on my shelf for several months, totally untouched.

Then a few weeks ago, my neighbor came over one morning, and in passing conversation, she said something about the book that sparked an interest again. So I sat down, picked it back up, and started fresh from the beginning.

This time, it took me less than one day to plow through that. It was the kind of book I wanted to keep reading. I wanted to know more, see what happened next, and most of all, be provoked to really think and ponder the things that were being presented.

I've never known a book to pack so much into so few pages. The number of topics and facets of God's being and nature that are fit into the pages of The Shack are just astounding. So much so that I have now begun rereading it, at a much slower pace, even jotting down notes along the way, so that I can fully digest and consider all that's being said. Once I've gotten through it the second time, I'll go back through my notes, and take a closer look at what I feel I truly believe to be solid... and then maybe do some digging on any issues I am unsure of.

At a minimum, it is more than safe to say, this book has captured my interest beyond anything I've read for quite some time. It is a great illustration of so many aspects of God. It is unbelievably thought-provoking. And it has renewed my deepest passion to know God as He really is... and to be closer to Him than ever before. Love that.

Laying Down on the Battlefield

Ephesians 6 gives us three basic steps for living our lives daily for God.

1 - Be strong in the Lord. Earlier in Ephesians, we are told to be rooted and established in Christ's love, that we would KNOW the full scope of His love. This is the basis of a true and lasting, unshakable relationship with the King of everything. Know Him. Be rooted and established in understanding and knowledge of how He loves us.

2 - Put on God's full armour so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. The armour of God consists of righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God. These are elements that should be a central part of our daily lives. These are tools that we have at in our grasp to use to live successful, victorious lives.

3 - Pray. Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. You know, it IS possible to get dressed for battle and then lie down on the battlefield. No one says that a fully-dressed soldier will automatically engage in battle. The soldier has to actively choose to engage and take part in the battle. This is the element of prayer for Christians. Prayer is our battle action. There is a note on this in my Bible. It reads as follows:

Prayer is not to be seen just as another weapon, but as part of the actual conflict itself, where the victory is won for ourselves and others by working together with God Himself. To fail to pray diligently, with all kinds of prayer in all situations is to submit to the enemy.

So I ask you, WHY get dressed in full armor if you are going to lie down in the middle of the battle field and allow the opposition to have his way? Why not align yourself together with the Almighty God and ask Him, invite Him, to work in circumstances around you to advance His will and kingdom. This is His design. That we would partner with Him, work together with Him, invite Him into situations and circumstances. That we work together, united in Christ. It is His design throughout eternity, and nothing but actively engaging in prayer - all kind of prayers and requests - will bring about the victory we hope for.

What circumstances in your life would you love to see God work in? I sat down this morning and made a list of those things in my own life, and then I took some quiet time to pray for each one of them.

Psalm 34:15 - The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their cry.

Ephesians 1:7-8

Ephesians 1:7-8 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom & understanding.

• In Him... only through a relationship with Christ. A relationship. Not a superficial knowledge of. It's about STAYING in Him. Living with Him.
• Through His blood... not by anything we have or ever will do. This is huge to me. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine just a few weeks ago who is a dear sweet person, but who wholeheartedly believes that she is "good on the whole eternity thing" because she has made good moral choices, she donates old clothes to charity, and she takes care of family members, etc. As I listened to her talk, my heart broke. It has NOTHING to do with what WE have done. It has EVERYTHING to do with HIM. It's all about Him. There is nothing else.
• redemption... awesome! We've been redeemed. Webster defines that as:

1: a : to buy back : repurchase b : to get or win back
2: to free from what distresses or harms: as a : to free from captivity by payment of
ransom b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental c : to
release from blame or debt : clear d : to free from the consequences of sin
3: to change for the better : reform
4: repair, restore
5a : to free from a lien by payment of an amount secured thereby b (1) : to remove the
obligation of by payment (2) : to exchange for something of value c : to make good : fulfill
6a : to atone for : expiate b (1) : to offset the bad effect of (2) : to make worthwhile : retrieve

• riches of God's grace... all of this because He has an abundance of grace and mercy that He pours out for us. He lavishes us with it. We ought to take time to bask in it!

Galatians 1:10

Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Two things about this that come into focus for me right now.

1. What is my motivation? Who am I more interested in pleasing - God or people?
2. Can't do both. Paul makes it clear that there is no option to split the vote. We must choose one - focus on one.

An Instant of Change

I love how the Word of God can, in an instant, lift me right up and fill me with hope and encouragement. Tonight as I was reading, a very simple truth was made crystal clear to me in only a moment: My circumstances don't matter. How long they last does not matter. The only thing that matters is that, in an instant, God can change them entirely for my good and for His glory.

A Biblical example to illustrate this is found in Chapter 3 of Acts.

• One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer - at three in the afternoon. Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. While the beggar held on to Peter and John, all the people were astonished and came running to them in the place called Solomon's Colonnade. When Peter saw this, he said to them: "Men of Israel, why does this surprise you? Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk?... By faith int he name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through Him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see. (Acts 3: 1-12, 16)

This man was crippled from birth, which means His circumstances lasted a LONG time. He sat at the gate every day, which means that many men of faith, and perhaps even Jesus Himself, walked past this man every day until the day Peter and John spoke to him and he was healed.

I'm sure that this was God's divine plan. I'm certain that Peter and John followed the promptings of the Holy Spirit on this particular day which allow this man to be healed. The cool thing to think about is that circumstances, day after day, could easily cause one to believe that this man had been overlooked or forgotten (or maybe ignored?) by God. Yet, in an instant, because of this man's faith in the name of Jesus, he was totally and completely healed, not only for his own good, but also for the glory and honor of God and for the advancement of His Kingdom. Awesome.

****

Lukewarm

For the past month, maybe two, I have had this nagging feeling in the depths of my heart, somewhere down deep where the nagging is barely noticeable, and can be easily ignored if paying attention to it is inconvenient, which it generally tends to be. This nagging is suggesting that I am off course; that I need to right the ship before I shipwreck completely. But I hear this little suggestion, and I think to myself, "No, not me. I love God. I've gone to church every Sunday for the past four years. I ready my Bible. I pray. I give. I want to give my life to God. You can't be talking about me." Right?

Unless you know me personally, you very likely do not know my current set of circumstances. Truthfully, not a lot of detail is necessary. Suffice it to say that we, as a family, have found ourselves in a situation that is less-than-ideal as far as finances go. It all has to do with buying / selling homes at a really unfortunate time as far as real estate goes. Blah blah, boring details. Here's what matters about all of this... going through this has really started to peel back the layers of scales that have grown over my eyes and blinded me. Not even three months ago, I would have told you, and would have whole-heartedly believed that I completely and totally trusted God and depended on Him and was willing to give Him whatever, sacrifice whatever. As I've walked through this, slowly the truth of the matter has come into focus. I have given a part of myself to God. The other part, I have rested securely in financial stability and a comfort in knowing what to expect out of life. There are just some things for which I do not consult God, do not depend on God, and have, thus far, fully expected Him to let me keep. In a nutshell, I've been resting in my comfortable life. Trusting in my bank account balance. My pleasure, my peace, my security, even my daily provisions - I've looked to something other than God for all of it.

And so the nagging that I've suppressed and ignored will not let me be. Truly, I do not wish to ignore it. Because I fear that ignoring it can only lead me away from God, and that is where I cannot afford to go. I MUST have Him! I MUST love Him! I must know Him! At all cost. At all measure of correction and discipline. I can't afford to live my life lukewarm, half depending on God, half depending on the world. I pray with all sincerity that He will grip my heart and refine me in this area. That I would be consumed by Him. That's my prayer. That He would be the only thing that truly measures of any value in my life. Everything is from Him. Everything is for Him. Nothing else will do. Nothing else matters. This must be the position of my heart, or I am at risk of being spit out.

Revelation 3:16 - So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Waiting for the World to Change

We sat in a restaurant yesterday, finishing our lunch of a gigantic stuffed pizza, and talking about the upcoming weekend, when the song changed in the background. The familiar tune, Waiting on the World to Change, filled the atmosphere, and I was totally distracted from our conversation as I listened again to the lyrics of that song.

I have always felt so torn by that song - I really do like the tune, and I WANT to like the song. But something about the lyrics just twinges something in me that makes me want to rise up and say, 'No! That's not right!'

I mean, I GET that there are MANY things out of balance and out of order in our world. I get that many injustices exist at present that seem insurmountable. I GET that 'the fight ain't fair.' All true. I agree.

But the part that makes me want to scream is the part where we all just sit and wait for something better... as if life is a passive journey, and if we just sit and wait and hope long enough, through no effort of our own, and by no other external force or means or action taken, all the elements of the world will align into a sense of something better. How does that even remotely make any sense? Yet it's a philosophy that, culturally, we have bought into wholeheartedly. And so the world goes on, spinning farther and farther into darkness.

This attitude of, 'I'm just one person; my voice is not loud enough; I can't make a difference' completely and wholly discounts the idea that we can at all have an impact on our culture and our surroundings. If that is true, then we must resign to a dark and empty, purposeless idea that our lives make not even the tiniest ripple or disturbance in the course of history - that we will come and go, not having impacted the course of the world to any degree. I've only lived a very short 32 years, but I have seen enough to know that this is entirely untrue.

Our lives are very much influenced and directed by the course of others, and likewise, our lives very much influence and direct others' courses. One person impacts another in such a way as to change his or her life forever. And our world's history is crammed full of notable individuals who have left a resounding mark on the course of history - each having been impacted by one, or even several, individual whom history does not record. Yet those unrecorded names, those forgotten faces, were no less significant because they are not documented. They held no less power to influence or to impact the world around them. Because they changed the life of someone they encountered, they redirected history and altered local and world culture. One person. One voice. One life lived. No particular position of 'importance' or 'influence,' yet proven to be very important and very influential.

And so it is with me. So it is with you. We each have been given by God one life; one voice; and 24 hours in every day. It is how we use what we have been given that will determine the direction of the world. True, I am one person, relatively unknown to the world, except by those immediately surrounding me. True, I do not have a world stage to stand on, nor worldly power and influence to work with. But I have the ability to change my world by taking the time to invest my life in someone else's life. If I am God's child, full of His Spirit, His love, His passion, His wisdom, His grace, then I have the ability to take what is in me and pour it out on those around me - goodness, patience, love, peace, joy, and every good thing that He is. I have seen enough to know that when God overflows onto a person's life, their life has the potential to be forever changed for the better. And when that newly changed person begins to be filled with God, then that same person can begin to take what they have been given and give it away as well.

This chain of events is not grand or glorified. It is simple. It is not a quick-fix answer to a very complex set of problems. It requires time, patience, and faith. It requires that we each look outside of ourselves and begin to take notice of those around us who are hurting or in need- and more than that, to take action. Maybe not to fix their problems or to heal their hurts. That I know I do not have the power to do. But I do have the power to listen, to love, to give, to invest. I do have the power to be genuine and caring and enduring. I have the ability, with no agenda or ulterior motive, to be a friend and invest in the life of someone near me.

Imagine for a moment, a map of the world. On that map there are millions of dots scattered about. While maybe some of those dots are in close proximity to each other, they all seem to be generally isolated. They are just stand-alone dots, without much purpose.

Now, on that same map, begin to draw circles around those dots. The circles represent the circle of influence each dot has. Then on each circle, place another dot, and around that dot draw a circle. You can see, that in only two or three layers, we will begin to see those circles overlap. Those circles of influence begin to meet up, intersect, and soon the map is filled - covered - with dots surrounded by circles.

That is the idea of isolated, self-sustaining, keep-your-head-down and just blend in Christians (the original set of dots) beginning to live their lives the way Jesus did... encountering people, and impacting them for the Kingdom of God.... spreading love, forgiveness, goodness, healing, joy, hope... the list could go on forever.

The circles around that first set of dots represent the group of people those Christians could influence.

The new set of dots on the circles represent new Christians who are living their lives the way Jesus did, and the circles around them represent the groups of individuals they each have the opportunity to impact.

It's true. I am only one person. I am only one isolated dot on the map, and I will likely never in my lifetime have the opportunity to impact the entire world alone. But I have a circle around me. And I have the ability to inject into that circle all that God has put in me - goodness, kindness, patience, peace, joy, love, self-control, forgiveness, mercy.... I have the ability to encourage others around me for the better. I have the ability to love those around me unconditionally. I have the ability to live my life consistently before them, and to pray for the opportunity to speak to them about the One True God.

I have the ability to be used by God to change this world. I do not dare sit back and wait, or I will come to the end of this life that God has given me, and I will look back and see that I did nothing but waste precious time.

Revelation 2-3

I have again been drawn to Revelation 2 & 3 - two chapters in the Bible that seem to captivate my attention. There seems to be so much said in these 2 chapters about the condition of the church, the qualities that please God, and the elements of our hearts that require repentance and change. So many promises are laid out in few passages - promises for those who overcome and are victorious. And so many clues as to what it means to overcome and be victorious.

I am amazed at the descriptions that are given of Christ in these few pages of this book. He is awe-inspiring. Amazing. Look at some of the terms and phrases used to describe Him:

• Him Who holds the seven stars in His right hand (the 7 stars are the messengers of the 7 churches being addressed in these 2 chapters)
• Him Who goes about among the 7 golden lampstands (the 7 churches)
• The First and the Last
• He Who died and came to life again
• Him Who has and wields the sharp 2-edged sword
• The Son of God
• He Who has eyes that flash like a flame of fire
• Whose feet glow like bright, burnished white-hot bronze
• Him Who has the 7 Spirits of God (the 7-fold Holy Spirit)
• The Holy One
• The True One
• He Who has the key of David
• He Who opens and no one shall shut; He Who shuts and no one shall open
• The Amen
• The trusty and faithful and true Witness
• The Origin, the Beginning, and the Author of God's creation
• He Who searches minds, the thoughts, feelings and purposes and the inmost hearts

I think I could barely stand to be before Him full-on. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like to be in His presence, face to face, with nothing between us. Even thinking about it makes my heart feel like it could burst with adoration and awe for Him. No other being in all creation, in all of history and time could fit the descriptions given here. These two chapters of Revelation alone are a stark reminder that we serve and follow and worship the One True God, the God above all gods, the Almighty. He is amazing! And He deserves our everything! I think I have only just begun to know Him. And I am excited about the possibility of a lifetime spent discovering Him and loving Him!

I want His heart.

The greatest passion in me is to know the heart of God - to feel what He feels, to treasure what He treasures. I want to know His love, His joy, His goodness. Who wouldn't? But how many of us ask Him for His heartache? His agony? His hurt? His longing? His jealousy? How many of us ask Him to let us hurt for others, feel even a glimpse of what He feels for the lost? We pray, God give me Your heart, but do we mean it? Do we even realize what we are asking for? And are we willing to really open ourselves up to feel it?
Isn't it much easier to remain ignorant of the pain God feels in His heart? The longing He must feel for those who are eternally lost? Are we really willing to endure even a portion of the anguish He holds in His heart for those who are away from Him? Are we willing to allow that hurt to move us to a state of brokenness? Move us to cry out in prayer and intercession for those in need? For the lost? For the hurting? Are we willing to let this feeling in, let it transform the way we view others? Are willing to stand before Him, stand in the gap for those who need prayer? Or are we content to remain insulated and numb to the desperation, the longing, and the jealousy in the heart of the Father?

I know this: the more time I have spent with God, the more time I have spent in prayer, and in His Word, the closer I have gotten to Him, the more I know Him, the more He shares Himself with me. I know His heart for me, and for others, more now than I did six months or a year ago. I know that time with Him has brought me to a deeper revelation of who He is and what drives Him. I know there is so much that I still don't know, but that I must act on what I do know. I must do something with the things He has already given me while I wait on Him to unfold the next piece of the picture. I cannot help but take on the heart of God as I spend time with Him, as I fall more in love with Him. I cannot help but be grieved by the condition of the church, the condition of the nation, the countless number of men and women who do not yet know Him. I know this: I love His heart. I love His passion. And everything in me wants to be like Him. If that means I must submit myself to the awareness, the acuteness of the pain that He endures, then so be it. When I cry out that I want ALL OF HIM, I am asking Him for EVERYTHING. I don't want to leave any part on the table. If I am only willing to share in a portion of Him, leaving the difficult parts behind, then I will never truly know Him. And the one thing I long for is to know Him. So I must be open to every part of Him. I want His heart.

The Heartbreak of God

Genesis 6:6-7 - And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved at heart. So the Lord said, I will destroy, blot out, and wipe away mankind, whom I have created from the face of the ground--not only man, [but] the beasts and the creeping things and the birds of the air--for it grieves Me and makes Me regretful that I have made them.

My heart twinges as I read this Scripture. It hurts to imagine the way regret must feel in the heart of God - regret at such an infinitely deep level. Regret for something so large as the creation of man - man, whom God created as a companion and lover of Him. I think this must have hurt Him infinitely worse than the worst of losses we could ever have endured as humans. How His heart must have hurt!

Genesis 6:11-12 - The earth was depraved and putrid in God's sight, and the land was filled with violence (desecration, infringement, outrage, assault, and lust for power). And God looked upon the world and saw how degenerate, debased, and vicious it was, for all humanity had corrupted their way upon the earth and lost their true direction.

How is this any different than the state we are in today? Our hearts are turned against God, and our lands are full of violence, desecration, outrage, assault and lust for power, and we, collectively, have certainly lost the true direction that once guided us. What, then, must we assume God feels in His heart when He looks at the condition of man? I've often wondered about this. I doubt my heart has the capacity to endure the paint and hurt He feels because of us.

And it breaks my heart to think that this generation - my generation - is the cause of so much pain in the heart of my Loving God. It is the cry of my heart that I would daily walk in a way that is pleasing to Him, and that the church would begin to turn around, turn our hearts back to Him, and live out lives that please Him and bring Him joy. We should never, for a moment, be the source of pain to a God Who has done so much for us! I pray that we will be continually transformed by Him, becoming more and more like Him, that we would also become a constant source of joy for Him in a world filled with so much hurt.

Free to be Me

This is a layout did to record and journal a very personal, very vulnerable, and very intimate encounter with God. Amazing, and altogether uncomfortable all at the same time. Yet I would give all that I am to be in that place with Him forever. He is beyond words to me. I tried to capture just a fraction of my thoughts on this moment and the impact He has had on my life. I'm not sure I really succeeded, but I enjoyed the process. I debated whether or not to share. I decided to, because I know I'm not the only person to have a hidden, shut-up part of me that is kept off limits, even to God Himself, even to myself if I'm being honest. I thought maybe it might help even one person to come to a realization of the wholeness He brings, and the exhilarating reward of total vulnerability.

You should be able to click on the image to view a larger, easier to read view.

Filled with Prayer

Acts 3:1-8 - One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

Nice story, isn't it? Still, for some reason, I've always felt uncomfortable reading this story, and I tend to find myself skimming over it or skipping it all together. So today when I came across it again, I was tempted to just bypass it under the pretense that 'I already know that...don't need to read it again.' But I didn't. I backed up and read it for probably the twentieth time in as many months.

As I read this passage today, I couldn't help but wonder at Peter and John. Lord, how is it that they can be so bold as to just tell this guy to get up and walk? And in that moment I realized why it is that this passage of Scripture seems to bother me so much.... because I'm pretty sure I would not have been so bold. I might have prayed for the guy if he asked, but to just command him to get up and walk! What if I go through all of that, and at the end of it all he still just lays there, unable to walk? How embarrassing would that be?! I realized I would be afraid of being embarrassed if nothing happened.

Immediately as I thought through this, I was reminded that 'God has not given me a spirit of fear.' Fear does not come from Him at all, and if it doesn't come from Him, I don't want it!

So my next question was, then how does that work? How do I get to the place, like Peter and John, where I feel confident and bold enough to command a person to be healed in the name of Jesus, and trust completely that it will just simply happen? I mean, they didn't pray and petition God to heal that man in that moment. They just told him to get up. They did just what Jesus did when He was walking the earth performing miracles. He simply commanded healing, and there was healing.

Well, maybe some of John and Peter's confidence came from walking with Jesus and witnessing His countless miracles. That might account for some of it... maybe... I mean, familiarity and personal experience does a lot to boost your confidence. But I think there's a lot more to it than that. In fact, as I read on into chapter 4, I began to see that this kind of confidence is made available to us without barriers. We simply have to be in the position to receive it.

The series of events following this miraculous healing at the Beautiful Gate finds John and Peter on trial before the religious leaders of the day because they had done this miraculous act. The leaders ultimately determine that they can't convict the two men of anything because the people are so excited about what they've just done. Instead, the leaders sternly warn John and Peter to never again teach or talk about or perform miracles in Jesus' name. Peter and John's response is "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."(Acts 4:19-20)

Then the two men return to the other apostles and tell them all what had just happened. And the apostles all prayed and worshiped together. They praised God for all that He is; they praised Him for times past when man set Himself against the message and the truth of God and failed. And then they prayed this: "Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus." (Acts 4:29-30)

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. (Acts 4:31)

The key to their boldness - their unwavering faith - at the Beautiful Gate that day, I believe, was that they had prayed something similar before. Their time in prayer was spent together, petitioning God to give them boldness, to allow them to speak with confidence and full freedom without fear. Their prayers were that God would, through them, stretch out His hand to cure the sick and to perform miracles through Jesus' authority and by His name. And they were continually being renewed in and filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit.

They were following the example that Jesus had set for them during the time He was with them. He did the same. He would spend time in prayer, go about doing good and healing those who were afflicted, then go back and spend more time in prayer.

It makes me think about what I'm praying for - how I'm praying. I know beyond a doubt that prayer is God's design for each of us, and it is what He works through to alter the course of the world. It's His plan for working in us and for working through us to reach the world. Prayer is vital.

"If the church would only awaken to her responsibility of intercession, we could well evangelize the world in a short time." - T.S. Hegre

Just something to think about

"Let us not glide through this world and then slip quietly into heaven, without having blown the trumpet loud and long for our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Let us see to it that the devil will hold a thanksgiving service in hell when he gets the news of our departure from the field of battle." -C.T. Studd

I came across this quote in my reading, and I love it. Lately I think I'm falling far short of the bar. Thank God His mercy is new every day, and today can be a new beginning (probably my millionth!) This quote - this well-thought-out life mission statement - can serve as a reminder of the boldness I have because of Jesus, and all that I want to give back to Him in gratitude. I truly do want to come to the end of my life and look back on it, knowing that I have had a consistent and profound impact on this world for His kingdom, not for my own glory, but as the best gift I can offer back to Him for all that He is and all that He has already given to me.

Mark 10

And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before Him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth." And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. (Mark 10:17-22)

This is another story I'm familiar with. I've heard it taught a few different times, and pretty much, the teachings are all similar. I guess I don't have anything earth-shaking to add to what I've heard before, but there were some small things I noticed, that pricked at my heart, as I was studying this account. I just want to highlight the points that stood out to me as I went through this.

1) a man ran up and knelt before Him...Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful...

How familiar is this scene? Isn't it what we've played out countless times in our own lives? No? At first I didn't think so. I didn't really relate to this guy. But I read it last night again, sitting in a worship & prayer service at church, and I realized how common this man's behavior is. He did what we do:

• He ran up to Jesus and he knelt before Him - just as we run to the alter or cry out in prayer;
• He wanted to know what was required of him to get into heaven - he asked about eternity...clearly it was on his mind...it was of interest to him. Don't we do the same? 'Jesus what do you want from my life? What can I do for You?...'
• Then Jesus spoke to him. Apparently, what was said seemed too hard; maybe he wasn't quite ready to take the step that was asked of him; maybe he was afraid to do what Jesus was asking... Whatever the reason, the man did not do what Jesus had asked of him, and he went away. This is where I initially deviated from being able to relate to this guy, but now I get the fact that we are not so different - I am not so different. Sometimes when I ask those kinds of questions, I like what I hear - it's encouraging or exciting. Other times, though, when I ask, He brings correction or asks something of me that goes above and beyond what I was expecting. And I go away. I don't walk away from Him completely, like the man in Mark did, but I finish my prayer time and I go on about my life. And when the thing He has spoken to me is hard, sometimes I struggle to comply, or I find myself compromising or making deals and bargains. Well, He's not asking me to bargain. He's asking me to obey. And neither good intention nor partial compliance counts for obedience. No matter how many times I ask the question, His answer does not change. It is simply a matter of whether or not I am willing to comply. For that, I am no different than the man in Mark.

2) And Jesus, looking at him, loved him...

I know this doesn't seem like much, and honestly, at first, I skimmed right over it when I read it. But the second or third pass through, this grabbed a hold of me and gripped me. Simply that Jesus knew this man's heart; knew the decision he would make; and He LOVED him. I love the fact that the author felt it was important enough to insert that bit of information, where it could have easily been omitted. It means that, without 'He loved him' we don't get the full picture. Otherwise, it wouldn't be there. However, it is important that we know it, so it was intentionally included. A subtle thing, but one of those things in Scripture that I absolutely love. Worth thinking on for a few minutes.

3) You lack one thing...

Look at the commandments Jesus listed. He listed EVERY SINGLE commandment that addresses how we are to deal with others. And, according to this man, he had kept every one of these commandments. He was, by the world's account, 'A good man' - the sort of person we assume will get into heaven for sure. Don't we all know those kind of people - the ones who are generous and compassionate; they volunteer at the soup kitchen, and they donate to every good cause under the sun; they never say a cross word to anyone; they give the shirt off their back for a friend or a neighbor. You know, 'good people.'

But Jesus says this man is lacking one thing that is crucial in determining a person's eternity in heaven. So what is it? Is it that he has too much money? Too much stuff? No, I don't believe that's it. I think it has to do with all of the commandments that were NOT listed - every commandment that addresses our relationship with God - with putting Him first, and center, and most important. What the young man was missing was a heart that put God above all things. He wanted to get into heaven. He had done every good thing in his earthly ability. But Jesus was not the most important to him. Apparently, for this particular man, the thing that held the highest regard in his heart was his wealth, which is why Jesus challenged him to lay it down.

At the moment this man walked away, he had made the choice to value his worldly possessions above Jesus. And he walked away sad because he recognized that, although he wanted to go to heaven, he was not willing to do what was necessary to get there.

That's a pretty heavy realization to come to, and one that I am continually evaluating in my own life. Is He really my center, my focus, my most important? Does my life demonstrate that by the way I am living? Is He getting my time? My attention? Am I relying on Him or myself? How much am I including Him in my every-day life? Is He the first thing I think of, or is He an afterthought in my down-time or at the end of the day? Because if He is not my most important, then something else is. If there is something that I am not willing to give up in order to spend eternity with Him, then I am in the same position as this young man in Mark. And, according to the Word of God, as long as I stay in that position, I can be assured that I will not be spending eternity with Him.

I think this story can be summed up quite simply: I can't be good enough on my own. In exchange for eternal life in heaven, He wants to be my One True God, and He asks that I love Him MOST, having nothing in my life that is more important to me than Him. Then my love for Him is demonstrated by my obedience, and by the way I live and show love to others.

I'm really glad He did that

The kids and I have been reading the Narnia books at bedtime and nap time, as we get the chance. Today, I read to them a bit for a resting sort of down time, and I have to say that it affected me more than I ever expected it could.

I read to them the part where the witch demands Edmund's life, because he was a traitor...
where Aslan, unbeknown to any of the others, commits to give his own blood, his own life, in exchange for Edmund's... where Aslan walks slowly to the table to offer himself in exchange for the boy's... where the girls walk alongside him, and he asks them to hold onto him, just to know they are there... when he submits to the hand of his enemies, willingly, without resistance or retaliation, and he is humiliated, and tortured and devalued and mistreated. And all the while, my heart swelled with grief, knowing that Jesus endured His own, much worse, much more real version of this; knowing that I am Edmund - I am the traitor, the sinner, the imperfect one; that it's my life that has been demanded because of my sins, and it was His life that He gave in exchange for my own. And I felt just a glimpse of the sorrow, the loneliness, the hurt, and the heaviness that He must have felt. And tears welled in my eyes, and I had to stop reading for a moment, because I know He endured that for me.

And I could relate to the girls in the book who wanted so badly to reach out and grab a hold of him, and who were so relieved to finally be able to touch him and run their hands through his mane. And I imagined the indignation they felt as they watched him endure all that he endured; as they watched him give his life.

And I felt triumphant as the Queen laughed and gloated, knowing that she had no idea whom she was really dealing with; that her triumph and victory would be wholly temporary. And I filled with praise for my God, Who seemingly gave Himself up to death, yet in it all was victorious over his enemy and over death itself. What a glorious moment it must have been when Satan realized his defeat after all! And I felt a fresh surge of victory, knowing that the enemy of my soul has been defeated, and his reign in our own Narnia will soon come to an end - his winter will melt away, and a new world, a fresh world, filled with the love and the goodness of God will take its place.

We've gotten most of the way through the second book so far, and until today, I've never explained to my children that this is an allegorical story. I've never told them that Aslan represents Jesus, or any of that. But today, mid-chapter, I stopped reading, and felt so entirely compelled to explain this all to them. I told them Aslan was like Jesus; the witch like the devil; Edmund like each of us... I explained that the Bible says that when we sin - when we lie, or feel hatred toward someone, or disobey our parents, or say a nasty thing, or take something that's not ours, or want something that someone else has - the payment for that is our lives. But Jesus chose to give His life, His blood, in place of ours. His blood and His life has already paid for every mistake we have every, or will ever make. We just need to thank Him for doing that, and live our lives in a way that is always telling Him thank you for what He did for us.

As I spoke, Sebastian listened intently... He listened as I talked about the cost of sin in our lives. He said at one point, "I was really worried until you said that Jesus already did that for us. I'm really glad He did that." While I recognize that this is a gross understatement, all I can say to that is "Me too."

Make a way

I confess this is going to be a long post. As I read this story the other day - a story I've known since childhood - I was captivated. My imagination went on overdrive and began to fill in the blanks - to glimpse the emotions and desires of the disciples; to wonder at the heart condition of the people; to marvel at everything that is implied in the midst of all that is not said. I love that Scripture is so alive like this. Just wanted to share some of my thoughts:

Mark 6:31-34 - And He said to them, [As for you] come away by yourselves to a deserted place, and rest a while--for many were [continually] coming and going, and they had not even leisure enough to eat.

And they went away in a boat to a solitary place by themselves. Now many [people] saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the surrounding towns, and they got there ahead [of those in the boat]. As Jesus landed, He saw a great crowd waiting, and He was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and He began to teach them many things.


I seriously doubt compassion would have been my overriding emotion here. I wonder if the disciples were also feeling compassionate, or if they were tired of the crowds & just wanted some quiet time? I couldn't help but wonder as I read this, What was it that moved Jesus? What was it about the people? What was it about Him? The Word says they were like sheep without a shepherd.

• without guidance
• without protection
• wandering with no direction, aim or purpose
• lost
• looking for someone to follow??
• feeling vulnerable, insecure

Maybe if I really understood the behavior of sheep, I could draw more out of this than I have; maybe my list would be longer or more enlightening? But I think this list above describes every person who tries to function without Jesus. Every person that I know who does not know Jesus is like a sheep without a shepherd, yet I am seldom moved with compassion to the point of taking action. I pray that He would continually change this about me until I am like Him.

Mark 6:35-46 - And when the day was already far gone, His disciples came to Him and said, This is a desolate and isolated place, and the hour is now late. Send the crowds away to go into the country and villages round about and buy themselves something to eat. But He replied to them, Give them something to eat yourselves. And they said to Him, Shall we go and buy 200 denarii [about forty dollars] worth of bread and give it to them to eat?

And He said to them, How many loaves do you have? Go and see. And when they [had looked and] knew, they said, Five [loaves] and two fish. Then He commanded the people all to recline on the green grass by companies.

So they threw themselves down in ranks of hundreds and fifties [with the regularity of an arrangement of beds of herbs, looking like so many garden plots]. And taking the five loaves and two fish, He looked up to heaven and, praising God, gave thanks and broke the loaves and kept on giving them to the disciples to set before the people; and He [also] divided the two fish among [them] all.

And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve [small hand] baskets full of broken pieces [from the loaves] and of the fish. And those who ate the loaves were 5,000 men.

And at once He insisted that the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side to Bethsaida, while He was sending the throng away. And after He had taken leave of them, He went off into the hills to pray.

So from what I can gather, it was late, and it was time to think of eating dinner. Still this crowd of 5,000 lingered - to hear Him, to be near Him. Their motivation to feed their stomachs was nothing compared to their desire to stay near Him. I'm amazed that they all chose to sit down and recline, even before they knew He would be feeding them. By nature, the posture of reclining makes one think of settling in and staying a while. These 5,000 were willing to forgo their meal, well into the evening, just to stay where He was. This was their heart condition - hungry to be near Him, to hear Him, to wait on Him. Maybe it was this heart condition that moved Him with compassion? Perhaps it was this attitude of faith and belief in Him that made it possible for Him to pour out such a miraculous meal on them - quite a difference from what He was able (or unable) to do in Nazareth not long before this.

And I can't help but notice this about Jesus as I read this account: when the disciples were tired and ready to send the people on their way, Jesus was unwilling to let them go. He made a way for them to stay with Him. Only after they had been satisfied by the One Who is more than enough did He personally disburse the crowd.

Then He went and prayed. I wonder what He prayed about? Surely He was tired and in need of His Father's company; in need of being refreshed and refilled; in need of wisdom, guidance, direction for all that was yet to come. But I wonder, did He also lift those 5,000 up in prayer? That all they had seen and heard that day would stay with them? That His words would be protected and guarded in their hearts? Did He pray a blessing over them? Although I don't know the answers to these questions, I love to get glimpses of Him like this. I love to get a glimpse of the tenderness of Jesus. And I am continually humbled when I think that the Lord of lords takes time to pray for me and my simple life...that I am just one in the crowd, yet He knows me, knows what I need, and He goes before His Father on my behalf. I depend on His perfect prayer, knowing that He is always moving and working in my life and my family. I could never deserve a love like this, and I am eternally thankful to Him.

To Invoke a Blessing

Luke 24:50 - Then He conducted them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up His hands, He invoked a blessing on them.

This verse comes toward the end of the book of Luke, and I've always read it as kind of a transition to His miraculous ascension to heaven. For some reason or another, I ended up reading back through this a few days ago, and I got hung up on this verse. It has never registered with me before, but it did that day. I paused to reflect on the notion of Christ calling down blessings over them. I realized that this moment went far beyond the ritualistic idea that I sometimes have on 'blessings' in the church - words recited without thought; prayers without real faith in the outcome.

But this blessing...this moment described in Luke 24...there has never been a hollow, vain, ineffective word uttered by Christ Jesus. His blessing was in full faith, complete certainty, absolute assurance of the outcome - that it would be all exactly as He had spoken. This was a perfect prayer prayed over these people. Wow, what I would give to have been in that crowd, to have been included in that blessing!

So my mind started wandering a bit...I wonder if He has ever invoked such a blessing over my life? Over yours? I believe He has - in my spirit, I feel it. Maybe somewhere in the Bible it confirms that. I'm not sure, but I know that He is always praying over us, interceding for us.

My mind is boggled trying to imagine that I would be the recipient of such a perfect prayer; that the Lord of lords would look upon me and feel that His efforts would be best put to use by praying for me, or speaking blessings over me. How could I possibly think of such a thing and not be completely humbled by my complete inability to ever remotely come close to deserving such attention. But He gives it freely. Sometimes still I have to remind myself that that's how He loves me. I don't deserve it. I never will. But I will accept it and I will thank Him.

I pray that my heart and my attitude of faith would be transformed to be like His; that my prayers - more than that - every word I utter - would be full of meaning, fueled by unwavering faith, having the fullest measure of effectiveness; that I would believe as He did on the day He ascended to heaven, having absolute certainty in the result, even before it is seen.

I pray that the Lord would set a guard over my mouth, that in my heart I would weigh the full measure of every word I speak before it is spoken; that my mouth would not be a contradiction to itself by speaking both blessings and curses.

James 5:16 - ...The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power & produces wonderful results.

Isaiah 55:11 - So shall my word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return to Me void (without producing any effect, useless), but it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

An Awesome Promise!

I came across this verse in my reading today. It was actually a verse that was in proximity to another verse I had looked up as a cross reference... it's amazing that I even happened to read it, because I surely was not looking for it. But it is one of the most encouraging verses I've ever read, and it is one incredible promise!

Isaiah 49:23 - ... and you shall know [with an acquaintance & and understanding based on and grounded in personal experience] that I am the Lord, for they shall not be put to shame who wait for, look for, hope for, and expect Me.

This element of faith has been a battle for me for much of my life - What if I believe and nothing happens? What if I'm disappointed? What if I make God my 'plan A' and He doesn't come through?

....This leads me to always have a 'plan B' in place...which is quite contrary to the faith God wants in us. When I make my own 'just in case' plan, I'm really saying to God that I'm not sure He will really be there for me, and that I can take care of things myself. That's not faith. That's doubt masquerading as faith.

But this verse in Isaiah puts a stop to all of that - or at least it should. Knowing the Word of God is truth, and that every promise in it is for every person who believes & does according to His Word, I know that I can rely on this promise...for me personally. If I dare to believe God, rely on Him, and expect Him to move on my behalf, He promises He will not let me down. I will not be put to shame. It's a promise.

Fall on my face

I realized yesterday during my prayer time how very blah I have been in my attitude toward spending time with God lately. I have not approached it with any kind of urgency or priority, letting all of the 'urgent' circumstances in day-to-day life to take the lead. Very simply put, I realized how utterly ashamed I would be if Christ would have return right then. I would have nothing to do but fall on my face and beg for forgiveness, pray for mercy and grace.

I am astonished at how quickly the world can sneak in and steal what belongs to God. I am astonished at how very little effort I really made to stop it. I am thankful for God's forgiveness, because I am weak and in desperate need of Him.

Psalm 103:2-4, 8 - Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul, and forget not one of all His benefits-- Who forgives every one of all your iniquities, Who heals each one of all your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit and corruption, Who beautifies, dignifies, and crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercy; The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy and loving-kindness.

To Alter History

I heard something today that has renewed my mental view of prayer. It was very simple, and it seemed very obvious. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized that, although I believe in prayer, I have not been truly viewing and approaching prayer as though I do believe it.

It was simply this: Every time I pray, I have acted to altered the course of history because I have invited God to work in and alter circumstances. Without prayer, history goes in one direction. With it, it goes another.

This is the truth of prayer. It's time for me to see it as an opportunity for God, through me, to shape the course of history.