I want His heart.

The greatest passion in me is to know the heart of God - to feel what He feels, to treasure what He treasures. I want to know His love, His joy, His goodness. Who wouldn't? But how many of us ask Him for His heartache? His agony? His hurt? His longing? His jealousy? How many of us ask Him to let us hurt for others, feel even a glimpse of what He feels for the lost? We pray, God give me Your heart, but do we mean it? Do we even realize what we are asking for? And are we willing to really open ourselves up to feel it?
Isn't it much easier to remain ignorant of the pain God feels in His heart? The longing He must feel for those who are eternally lost? Are we really willing to endure even a portion of the anguish He holds in His heart for those who are away from Him? Are we willing to allow that hurt to move us to a state of brokenness? Move us to cry out in prayer and intercession for those in need? For the lost? For the hurting? Are we willing to let this feeling in, let it transform the way we view others? Are willing to stand before Him, stand in the gap for those who need prayer? Or are we content to remain insulated and numb to the desperation, the longing, and the jealousy in the heart of the Father?

I know this: the more time I have spent with God, the more time I have spent in prayer, and in His Word, the closer I have gotten to Him, the more I know Him, the more He shares Himself with me. I know His heart for me, and for others, more now than I did six months or a year ago. I know that time with Him has brought me to a deeper revelation of who He is and what drives Him. I know there is so much that I still don't know, but that I must act on what I do know. I must do something with the things He has already given me while I wait on Him to unfold the next piece of the picture. I cannot help but take on the heart of God as I spend time with Him, as I fall more in love with Him. I cannot help but be grieved by the condition of the church, the condition of the nation, the countless number of men and women who do not yet know Him. I know this: I love His heart. I love His passion. And everything in me wants to be like Him. If that means I must submit myself to the awareness, the acuteness of the pain that He endures, then so be it. When I cry out that I want ALL OF HIM, I am asking Him for EVERYTHING. I don't want to leave any part on the table. If I am only willing to share in a portion of Him, leaving the difficult parts behind, then I will never truly know Him. And the one thing I long for is to know Him. So I must be open to every part of Him. I want His heart.