I keep walking through this lesson of faith, learning to understand how faith really works, why some people are able to operate in such amazing faith while others seem to struggle so much. It seems like every time I open my Bible I learn another valuable lesson that helps me see another piece of the bigger picture. It seems like every time I pray, God is whispering encouragement and love and building me up.
But it also seems that the enemy of my soul doesn't want me to believe what I am learning. Twice in the last 2 weeks I've had very similar experiences - both while driving alone in my van; both actually in very similar locations and at similar times of day. The first time it happened, I was taken back by it. The second time it happened, I just laughed because it reminded me SO much of the first time, that it was clearly a lame second attempt, since the first one failed. Here's what happened...
I was on my way from the bank back to the church when out of the blue, a whispered thought went flooding into my mind, 'JESUS WAS JUST A PROPHET. HE'S NOT REALLY THE SON OF GOD. HE'S A FAKE.' I was so taken back by it. Where had that come from, really? It was so random, and so contrary to what I believe. Why on earth would something like that go through my mind. Then I realized it was a whispered lie that the enemy had put in my mind to steer me off course - to make me doubt what I believe and question what I've learned. As soon as I realized what was happening, I did the only thing I could think of to do - I started talking out loud, declaring the things the Bible says about Jesus. 'Jesus is the only begotten Son of God. He is the Christ, the Anointed One, the Messiah, the Savior. He is the Word of God in flesh. He has defeated the powers of darkness and sits at the right hand of God...' and on and on. By the time I got out of my van, the doubt was gone.
Well, the second time, I was also coming from the bank, and I was turning onto the same road that I had been on the first time - only I was about 5 blocks away from where it happened the first time. I was listening to a song on the radio, and I was thinking about the day when Jesus returns. All of a sudden, along comes another whispered lie: 'IF JESUS IS REALLY COMING BACK, WHY HASN'T HE COME YET? HE'S NOT COMING. HE'S A LIAR. HE'S A FRAUD.' For another second, I was taken by it, but instantly, I was reminded of the first incident. I just laughed out loud, and the only thing I said this time was, 'Nice try.' Satan is such a liar. I am so thankful that what I know in my heart is so much stronger than what may go through my mind. What I know in my heart, I know beyond a doubt, and the whispered lies of a desperate enemy cannot shake me when I listen to what my heart says.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 - For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, inasmuch as we refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
O, Unbelieving Generation
About a week ago, I shared with you that I've been struggling with the faith to pray for others' healing. Today, I was led to Mark 9. This is what I read (this is from the Amplified version):
Jesus and three of His disciples had gone up to a mountain spot together and had a transforming encounter with the presence of God. On the way back down the mountain, they saw a crowd gathered near the other disciples. In the crowd was a man and his son, who was very ill.
Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a dumb spirit. And wherever it lays hold of him, it dashes him down and convulses him, and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth, and he falls into a motionless stupor and is wasting away. And I asked Your disciples to drive it out, and they were not able to do it.
And He answered them, O unbelieving generation [without any faith]! How long shall I have to do with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to Me.
So they brought the boy to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, at once it completely convulsed the boy, and he fell to the ground and kept rolling about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father, How long has he had this? And he answered, From the time he was a little boy. And it has often thrown him both into fire and into water, intending to kill him. But if You can do anything, do have pity on us and help us.
And Jesus said, You say to Me, If You can do anything? Why, all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
At once the father of the boy gave a cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! Constantly help my weakness of faith!
But when Jesus noticed that a crowd of people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, You dumb and deaf spirit, I charge you to come out of him and never go into him again.
And after giving a shriek of anguish and convulsing him terribly, it came out; and the boy lay [pale and motionless] like a corpse, so that many of them said, He is dead.
But Jesus took a strong grip of his hand and began lifting him up, and he stood.
And when He had gone indoors, His disciples asked Him privately, Why could not we drive it out? And He replied to them, This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.
Wow. That passage of scripture shed some light on my issue. For being no longer than it is, there are so many things that can be read from it, but a few things, in particular, stood out to me.
The very first thing - I can totally relate to the disciples. I can so easily see myself being one of those people who tried - gave it their best, really wanted to pray for the boy and see healing, did all they knew to do - but the boy's situation remained unchanged. In my mind as I was reading, I thought, 'That's me.'
But no sooner than I thought that thought, I read the next verse where Jesus lays into them a bit - 'O unbelieving generation without any faith!' In other words, When will you ever learn? If you could just get it through your thick skulls! Bring the boy to Me, I'll do it.' I sort of felt like I was living back at home with my mom, getting scolded because she has told me something 20, or maybe 100 times and I'm just not getting it! I'm being stubborn and bull-headed, and I'm just not listening. Those kind of talkin' to's were always out of love, always because she wanted something better for me, and maybe a bit out of frustration because she couldn't seem to get through to me. And I can tell you from my fair share of experience, they weren't pleasant to endure. Well, today, I felt the sting of getting that kind of 'talkin-to' from Jesus as I read that verse.
The next thing that occurred to me is the description of the boy's condition. If I were given that description today, I would assume it was a medical condition. Sounds like he has something physically wrong with him. But the father, and Jesus, both addressed the boy's problem as a spiritual condition. Then the verse in 2 Corinthians popped into my head, 'from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view' (2 Cor. 5:16). We need to learn to look beyond the physical and regard every person in the spiritual. So, does that mean cancer can be viewed as a spiritual condition? Diabetes? MS? All of our diseases that we're not born with but that come on us at some point during life? We treat them in the physical, but should we really be regarding them in the spiritual? This definitely calls for a different perspective in praying for someones 'physical' healing.
When the father pleads with Jesus to do something if He can, Jesus' reply cuts straight through me. 'You say to Me, If You can do anything? All things are possible to him who believes! ' I have heard this verse from the time I was very young, but I never knew the context of it. I never knew how very serious Jesus was. I guess I always just thought it sounded nice, but I never took it to heart. Today I think it got through to my heart. And I love the father's response: 'Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!' What an honest, heartfelt, nothing held back, desperate plea to God. I believe in You! Help me when I struggle with my faith. I think we all struggle with doubt. I know I do. I'd say probably every day the enemy puts shades of doubt into my head, and I have to decide what I choose to believe, and stand firm on that. Sometimes my doubt gets the better of me and I really struggle to bring it under control. But this man's response models the perfect response. God, I believe You. I choose to believe in You. Help me when doubt comes.
Finally, Jesus' response to the disciples. When they finally get alone with Him, they ask, 'Lord, why couldn't we heal the boy?' I know I've had similar conversations with Him myself, when I've prayed for my children to be healed from illness, etc. What's the deal, God, why didn't that work? His answer is very matter-of-fact. 'That kind won't come out without prayer and fasting.' In other words, to really operate in the supernatural, and to see healing come about in the lives of others, it requires more than a standard attempt, which is generally accompanied with some shade of doubt (no matter how great or small the doubt is). It requires a solid, genuine, whole-hearted belief. And it requires a personal commitment - to God - to prayer and fasting - which means it requires personal sacrifice and one-on-one face time with God.
Jesus and three of His disciples had gone up to a mountain spot together and had a transforming encounter with the presence of God. On the way back down the mountain, they saw a crowd gathered near the other disciples. In the crowd was a man and his son, who was very ill.
Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a dumb spirit. And wherever it lays hold of him, it dashes him down and convulses him, and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth, and he falls into a motionless stupor and is wasting away. And I asked Your disciples to drive it out, and they were not able to do it.
And He answered them, O unbelieving generation [without any faith]! How long shall I have to do with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to Me.
So they brought the boy to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, at once it completely convulsed the boy, and he fell to the ground and kept rolling about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father, How long has he had this? And he answered, From the time he was a little boy. And it has often thrown him both into fire and into water, intending to kill him. But if You can do anything, do have pity on us and help us.
And Jesus said, You say to Me, If You can do anything? Why, all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
At once the father of the boy gave a cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! Constantly help my weakness of faith!
But when Jesus noticed that a crowd of people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, You dumb and deaf spirit, I charge you to come out of him and never go into him again.
And after giving a shriek of anguish and convulsing him terribly, it came out; and the boy lay [pale and motionless] like a corpse, so that many of them said, He is dead.
But Jesus took a strong grip of his hand and began lifting him up, and he stood.
And when He had gone indoors, His disciples asked Him privately, Why could not we drive it out? And He replied to them, This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.
Wow. That passage of scripture shed some light on my issue. For being no longer than it is, there are so many things that can be read from it, but a few things, in particular, stood out to me.
The very first thing - I can totally relate to the disciples. I can so easily see myself being one of those people who tried - gave it their best, really wanted to pray for the boy and see healing, did all they knew to do - but the boy's situation remained unchanged. In my mind as I was reading, I thought, 'That's me.'
But no sooner than I thought that thought, I read the next verse where Jesus lays into them a bit - 'O unbelieving generation without any faith!' In other words, When will you ever learn? If you could just get it through your thick skulls! Bring the boy to Me, I'll do it.' I sort of felt like I was living back at home with my mom, getting scolded because she has told me something 20, or maybe 100 times and I'm just not getting it! I'm being stubborn and bull-headed, and I'm just not listening. Those kind of talkin' to's were always out of love, always because she wanted something better for me, and maybe a bit out of frustration because she couldn't seem to get through to me. And I can tell you from my fair share of experience, they weren't pleasant to endure. Well, today, I felt the sting of getting that kind of 'talkin-to' from Jesus as I read that verse.
The next thing that occurred to me is the description of the boy's condition. If I were given that description today, I would assume it was a medical condition. Sounds like he has something physically wrong with him. But the father, and Jesus, both addressed the boy's problem as a spiritual condition. Then the verse in 2 Corinthians popped into my head, 'from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view' (2 Cor. 5:16). We need to learn to look beyond the physical and regard every person in the spiritual. So, does that mean cancer can be viewed as a spiritual condition? Diabetes? MS? All of our diseases that we're not born with but that come on us at some point during life? We treat them in the physical, but should we really be regarding them in the spiritual? This definitely calls for a different perspective in praying for someones 'physical' healing.
When the father pleads with Jesus to do something if He can, Jesus' reply cuts straight through me. 'You say to Me, If You can do anything? All things are possible to him who believes! ' I have heard this verse from the time I was very young, but I never knew the context of it. I never knew how very serious Jesus was. I guess I always just thought it sounded nice, but I never took it to heart. Today I think it got through to my heart. And I love the father's response: 'Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!' What an honest, heartfelt, nothing held back, desperate plea to God. I believe in You! Help me when I struggle with my faith. I think we all struggle with doubt. I know I do. I'd say probably every day the enemy puts shades of doubt into my head, and I have to decide what I choose to believe, and stand firm on that. Sometimes my doubt gets the better of me and I really struggle to bring it under control. But this man's response models the perfect response. God, I believe You. I choose to believe in You. Help me when doubt comes.
Finally, Jesus' response to the disciples. When they finally get alone with Him, they ask, 'Lord, why couldn't we heal the boy?' I know I've had similar conversations with Him myself, when I've prayed for my children to be healed from illness, etc. What's the deal, God, why didn't that work? His answer is very matter-of-fact. 'That kind won't come out without prayer and fasting.' In other words, to really operate in the supernatural, and to see healing come about in the lives of others, it requires more than a standard attempt, which is generally accompanied with some shade of doubt (no matter how great or small the doubt is). It requires a solid, genuine, whole-hearted belief. And it requires a personal commitment - to God - to prayer and fasting - which means it requires personal sacrifice and one-on-one face time with God.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
This year.
A few weeks ago, I spent some time looking back over the last year, and again today, as the new year begins, I find myself again reflecting on the last 12 months. I am left in awe of all that Jesus has done in my life - in my heart - in so little time. When finally I came to a place where I willingly opened up my heart to Him, holding nothing back, it was like I gave Him the green light to finally do what He has been wanting to do for so many years. He has transformed my life in so many ways, that sometimes even I don't recognize myself, especially areas of my life where I was so totally deficient before. He has filled me with a passion for Him that I could never put into words; sometimes I feel like I could truly burst if I loved Him more. He has weeded out so much of the selfishness and self-centeredness that has nearly always been present in my life, and has begun to develop in me a genuine generosity and compassion for others that I've never had. He has created in me a heart of worship and has lead me to dethrone the former gods of my life, leaving only Him as the center and focus of my heart and my attention.
The thing I realized tonight, though, as I was thinking back, is that, even through all the doubting that I have done about the effectiveness and power of my prayers, I am surrounded every day by the evidence of the effects of my very own prayers. I can see His movement in situations that seemed insurmountable when I first started praying - circumstances I couldn't imagine changing. Yet, I really am left in complete awe of Him - how easy it seems to be for Him to do the seemingly impossible. How loving it is for Him to move the way He does. And I know that my prayers have played a roll in opening the door for Him to work in these situations. Now that my eyes are finally open to it - now that I finally realize it - I am so happy. And humbled. That a God so great take actions on my behalf - on my request. That just totally blows my mind.
It continues to be my prayer and my desire to be closer to Him, to know Him better and love Him more. I want to be so completely in love with Him I can't contain it. I want to be overwhelmed by the touch of His presence. I want to be so familiar with His voice, with the way He moves, that I will know without a doubt that it is Him. I pray as I go day by day through this new year, that I will become a better mother, an invaluable wife, a more balanced woman, and a truly genuine friend. I pray that I will grow more confident in my identity in Christ - all that He has made available to me - the rights He purchased for me with His blood. I pray that I would not merely know it; not merely glimpse it on occasion; but that it would take root in my heart, infiltrating the very core of who I am, so that I would walk consistently in all that my precious Jesus has laid out before me. I know that's a tall order for one year, but I know He is capable of great things.
Happy New Year.
The thing I realized tonight, though, as I was thinking back, is that, even through all the doubting that I have done about the effectiveness and power of my prayers, I am surrounded every day by the evidence of the effects of my very own prayers. I can see His movement in situations that seemed insurmountable when I first started praying - circumstances I couldn't imagine changing. Yet, I really am left in complete awe of Him - how easy it seems to be for Him to do the seemingly impossible. How loving it is for Him to move the way He does. And I know that my prayers have played a roll in opening the door for Him to work in these situations. Now that my eyes are finally open to it - now that I finally realize it - I am so happy. And humbled. That a God so great take actions on my behalf - on my request. That just totally blows my mind.
It continues to be my prayer and my desire to be closer to Him, to know Him better and love Him more. I want to be so completely in love with Him I can't contain it. I want to be overwhelmed by the touch of His presence. I want to be so familiar with His voice, with the way He moves, that I will know without a doubt that it is Him. I pray as I go day by day through this new year, that I will become a better mother, an invaluable wife, a more balanced woman, and a truly genuine friend. I pray that I will grow more confident in my identity in Christ - all that He has made available to me - the rights He purchased for me with His blood. I pray that I would not merely know it; not merely glimpse it on occasion; but that it would take root in my heart, infiltrating the very core of who I am, so that I would walk consistently in all that my precious Jesus has laid out before me. I know that's a tall order for one year, but I know He is capable of great things.
Happy New Year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
These are just my thoughts on things related to my daily walk with God. I've always been a journal-keeper, and this is the area that demands most of the space in every journal I've ever kept. This is my passion, and I hope that by sharing my thoughts on the things I'm going through, I might be able to bless you in some way. Enjoy.