Imperfection

So here's the thing...

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I say wrong things. I lose my temper. I sometimes gossip. I'm not always patient. I'm not perfect.

Until recently, I didn't fully comprehend the scrutiny I am under because I choose to follow Jesus. By those who are close to me, who know me well, I am probably most harshly judged. And the thing is, it's these people who I live my life in front of day after day - who have the opportunity to see me at my highest moments of imperfection. Does one mistake, one bad choice, make me a hypocrite? No. It makes me human. It makes me a person who is imperfect. It makes me a person who desperately needs my savior.

These are areas of my life - my temper, my patience, my MOUTH - that God is working on. Each day He teaches me, and each day I grow a little more. But the thing is, just like in every other aspect of life, learning the ways of God sometimes means learning from my mistakes.

Please don't believe that because I mess up and do things I shouldn't, that I love God any less, or that I am any less sincere in my dedication to following Him. Please understand that to be a Christian does not mean to be perfect. I would never claim to be perfect, and I would never expect perfection from anyone else. In fact, the Bible asks us to do just the opposite. It tells us that love makes allowances for others - not just for the things they do that irritate you, but also for the mistakes they make. Love covers things that we otherwise would not be able to so easily overlook. And the Bible makes it clear that not a single one of us is perfect. So please don't put unreasonable expectations on me just because I call myself a Christian.

I cannot pretend to be all I am 'expected' to be by those who are watching my every move. To do so would be a charade. Of all the things I CAN be, I will NOT be PHONY. I can only live my life, as I am now, and hope that over time, you will see the changes in me that have taken place by the grace of God and by His presence in my life. In the meantime, I can only hope that you will begin to see Christianity for what it really is - a recognition that I need a savior, and a dedication to live for Him - because I love Him.

Know that I am on a journey - that I have not arrived, but I am also not where I used to be. And know that when I do slip and make a mistake, I am thankful that I can ask for forgiveness, be forgiven, and put it behind me. God may help me learn from that mistake, but He will never hold it against me. God knows that I am not perfect, and He loves me just the same.