I am determined.

For my determined purpose is that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection... (Philippians 3:10)

'For my determined purpose is that I may know Him.' This is what Paul said. What a significant verse in God's word. When I read this, I feel like God is telling me that if I want to know Him, I have to do it on purpose. I cannot go through life as usual, giving God a nod on Sunday morning and before I eat or go to bed. I must be determined. I must seek Him - in prayer and in His word. And as I seek Him, as I spend time with Him, as I learn of His character through the words in the Bible, and as I hear what He has to say to me (both through reading and praying), what happens? Philippians 3:10 tells us that as we do these things, we progressively enter into a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. We learn to recognize Him, to perceive Him, and to understand Him more. We start to get a clearer picture of who God really is and what He wants for our lives. And we begin to experience and know the power that pours out of His crucifiction and resurrection.

That verse goes on to tell us that when we begin to really know Jesus, and stay in a relationship with Him, we begin to be transformed (continually, it says in the Amplified Bible, which tells me it's not all at once, but it is a continual process) into Jesus' likeness. Other verses of the New Testament tell us that when we truly love Jesus, we get so that we can't help but obey Him. To do anything other than obey Him and follow Him goes against who we are (who we've been transformed into) at that point.

This is not a verse that I just stumbled across by accident. It's what I've been living for the past few weeks. God started dealing with me in some areas of my knowledge of Him that were pretty gray shall we say. And it was at the point where I was severely struggling at times even just to pray because I felt so shaken and uncertain about what He was trying to show me. But at the same time, I knew I had to walk through it - I just didn't know how. Well, usually when I find myself thinking, 'I just don't know what to do' that's when I know the ONLY thing to do - turn to God in prayer & through His word. I was so confused and at a total loss to understand & wrap my mind around any part of what He was teaching me. So, I again went back to David's prayer in Psalm 27 - 'The one thing I ask of You is that I would stay in your presence, that I would see Your face, and meditate on You.' And I came back to this verse in Philippians that I mentioned first.

Well, walking into church today I was still uncertain. I drew guidance from Paul's letter to the Philippians, and set my mind and my heart to be determined to purposely worship God and give Him my time, even though I still felt shaken. And the coolest thing happened after service. I was given the opportunity to speak one-on-one with one of the elders in our church (whom I had not met before today). In the few minutes we talked together, God really used him to bring a lot of understanding and clarity to me. He settled my spirit and brought me back to focus. And as I began reading some of the verses this man had given to me, I began to SEE - in my spirit see - Jesus more clearly. And suddenly (thank God for suddenly's) the cloudiness and confusion was lifted, and I feel like I'm back on solid ground. I know that this outcome may have been different (or at least taken much longer) had I not followed God's word and been determined.

It is my purpose to live for Jesus, and I am determined to know Him the way Paul described - intimately, strongly, clearly. I am determined.