Signs of Love

Can I just tell you the coolest thing! I just love it when I can see little signs in my every day life that God loves me. Lately, I've just been asking Him to show me evidence of His love - just little things that show He loves me personally. It may not seem like any big thing to anyone other than me, but it's big to me. Well, He has been doing just that - showing evidence in every-day ways - that He takes notice of me, that He knows what is on my heart, and that He cares enough to do something just to make me happy. And He's so easy about it, it just amazes me!

Yesterday, (if you read my other blog, you already know this) I exploded a cookie in my oven, and was unable to make dinner. Well, I had already decided prior to this event that I didn't want to spend any more money this month on eating out. But, when that happened, I was left with little choice but to go get something for dinner since there wasn't time to let the oven cool, clean it & then cook...it would have been way too late. Anyhow...I went to KFC to grab a bucket of chicken. I had made up my mind that I would get the cheapest bucket I could - whatever was sufficient to feed us. When I got there and looked at the menu, there was a huge meal for $12.99 - 9 pieces with 3 large sides & 6 biscuits. That was more than enough, and it was cheaper than the typical trip to McDonalds or Wendys. But I really really didn't want 9 pieces of thighs and drumsticks. I was hungry for - I mean almost craving - a huge juicy piece of white meat chicken. And I almost ordered the more expensive meal just to satisfy my craving. But, I stuck to it, and I ordered the cheap bucket of chicken. Well, when I got to the window, the man says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to ask, but would it be okay if I gave you some breasts and a few wings?" I just smiled in my heart. Even though it's only a small thing, I knew that it was God just giving me a little extra something, just to make me happy, just because He loves me. How cool is He?! How could I ever not love Him? He's awesome!

Imperfection

So here's the thing...

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I say wrong things. I lose my temper. I sometimes gossip. I'm not always patient. I'm not perfect.

Until recently, I didn't fully comprehend the scrutiny I am under because I choose to follow Jesus. By those who are close to me, who know me well, I am probably most harshly judged. And the thing is, it's these people who I live my life in front of day after day - who have the opportunity to see me at my highest moments of imperfection. Does one mistake, one bad choice, make me a hypocrite? No. It makes me human. It makes me a person who is imperfect. It makes me a person who desperately needs my savior.

These are areas of my life - my temper, my patience, my MOUTH - that God is working on. Each day He teaches me, and each day I grow a little more. But the thing is, just like in every other aspect of life, learning the ways of God sometimes means learning from my mistakes.

Please don't believe that because I mess up and do things I shouldn't, that I love God any less, or that I am any less sincere in my dedication to following Him. Please understand that to be a Christian does not mean to be perfect. I would never claim to be perfect, and I would never expect perfection from anyone else. In fact, the Bible asks us to do just the opposite. It tells us that love makes allowances for others - not just for the things they do that irritate you, but also for the mistakes they make. Love covers things that we otherwise would not be able to so easily overlook. And the Bible makes it clear that not a single one of us is perfect. So please don't put unreasonable expectations on me just because I call myself a Christian.

I cannot pretend to be all I am 'expected' to be by those who are watching my every move. To do so would be a charade. Of all the things I CAN be, I will NOT be PHONY. I can only live my life, as I am now, and hope that over time, you will see the changes in me that have taken place by the grace of God and by His presence in my life. In the meantime, I can only hope that you will begin to see Christianity for what it really is - a recognition that I need a savior, and a dedication to live for Him - because I love Him.

Know that I am on a journey - that I have not arrived, but I am also not where I used to be. And know that when I do slip and make a mistake, I am thankful that I can ask for forgiveness, be forgiven, and put it behind me. God may help me learn from that mistake, but He will never hold it against me. God knows that I am not perfect, and He loves me just the same.

He is calling

Ah, the story of the blind beggar Bartimaeus (found in Mark 10:46-52). I remember hearing it when I was little. Today, I was getting caught up on Joyce Meyer shows that I've tivo'd, and she revisited this story. Bartimaeus was a blind beggar, who caught wind of the fact that Jesus was walking past. He began to call out - shout, the Bible says - 'Jesus, Son of David, have pity and mercy on me now!' The crowd around him severely disapproved of his behavior, and told him to be quiet & be still. But Bartimaeus continued shouting out to Jesus for mercy. Jesus hears the man calling out to Him, stops, and sends for the man. Because of his faith, Bartimaeus receives healing that day, and spends the rest of the day accompanying Jesus on the road.

Told just like this, we can learn quite a bit from this story that can be applied to our every-day lives. But today as I was reading this, a small piece of this scripture almost jumped off of the page at me. It was like God just added some special effects to my Bible or something to make those few sentences stand out to me. In verses 49-50, look what happens in this story.

• And Jesus stopped and said, 'Call him.' And they called the blind man, telling him, Take courage! Get up! He is calling you!' And throwing off his outer garment, he leaped up and came to Jesus. (Mark 11:49-50)

Take courage! Get up! He is calling you! And the man jumped up and ran to Jesus.

You know, the life the Bible describes for the Christian is not a passive, wimpy life. It is a bold, aggressive life. The Bible says that when we become Christians, the Spirit of God comes and lives in us. Well, what does that mean? Who is Jesus? We see Him in the Bible as being gentle, patient, sweet, forgiving, caring, humble, and on and on. But we also see Him as a mighty warrior, the King of All Kings! That is not the picture of a passive and wimpy God. He lives boldly. He aggressively seeks to do His father's will.

When we decide to commit our lives to Jesus - to really live for Him - we must be courageous. We must get up and move. We must be willing to live by faith, to step out of the boat. We must jump up and run to Jesus, just as this blind beggar did. This is the spirit of faith that healed Bartimaeus. Not a wimpy, passive spirit that kept him waiting quietly on the road side, hoping to be noticed by the passing savior. If God is calling you - whether it is into a new relationship with Him, or into a new level of relationship with Him - don't be wimpy. Have courage! Get up and go to Him! He is calling you.

The Difference

Well, after a bit of a break, I'm back with something new to share with you. I have started doing a foundations class at church. Yesterday was the 3rd class, and I have been getting quite a bit out of it. Even though it's the basics that I've been taught for years, it's been great to get into my Bible & look up each verse reference myself. Some of it has been just a refresher, or reinforcement, but God has also used this time to show me things I hadn't seen before, which I am very grateful for. I believe no matter how many times I read my Bible, God will always have something new to show me.

Some of you may already know this poem by Alan Grant, but I had never seen it before. As we read it in class, though, I realized how much truth was behind this very basic rhyme. The instructor, who is in his 80's, and who has been serving God for somewhere around 45 years now, nearly began crying as he read this to us. This is a man for whom I have the utmost respect as a truly Godly man. He has walked through many things, and it is clear from being with him only a few minutes, that he has a very strong relationship & friendship with God. The fact that this poem moved him so much made me give it a heavier consideration as we were reading it. And again, when I got up this morning, I read it and thought it over for a while.

The Difference

I got up early one morning

and rushed right into the day;

I had so much to accomplish

That I didn't have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,

and heavier came each task,

"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.

He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty,

But the day toiled on, gray and bleak;

I wondered why God didn't show me.

He said, "But you did not seek."

I tried to come into God's presence;

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning,

And paused before entering the day;

I had so much to accomplish

that I had to take time to pray.

The Bible tells us over and over again to pray constantly, pray about everything, be unceasing in prayer, come boldly to the throne, ask and you shall receive. (a few verses to look up if you'd like: Luke 18:1, Ephesians 6:18, 1 Thes. 5:17 1 John 5: 14-15. If you don't have a Bible, you can do a scripture look-up at Bible.com)

• This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (1 John 5:14,15 NIV)

Just look at the awesome promises made in this verse. 1) We can be confident in approaching God (we can be bold and assured). 2) If we ask of Him, he hears us. 3) Since we know he hears us (because He just got done telling us this is so in the previous sentence), then we can also know that He will answer our prayer. Those are some pretty incredible promises - things we can KNOW to be true. We do not have to doubt them whatsoever.

But, if we do not ask, He will not answer. If we do not show Him the love and respect of taking the time to talk to Him, to include Him in our lives, the we cannot expect Him to act on our behalf just because we've gotten ourselves into trouble. Look at the wording in this verse above - IF we ask. IF. James 4:2 makes this clear: "...You do not have, because you do not ask God."

Look at what God has to say in Proverbs about ignoring Him in prayer.

• But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you - when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you. "Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me. (Proverbs 1:24-28 NIV)

I think that says it pretty plainly. To paraphrase: 'If you can't take time to seek me, and to listen to me, to heed my advice, and to accept my correction, and if you ignore Me when I reach out to you, be assured that I will not help you, I will not hear you, when you reach out to Me for help in times of need.' God is not a celestial Santa Clause (to borrow a term from Joyce Meyer). He doesn't want us to come to Him always with our hand out, only when we need something from Him. He wants us to talk to Him, to share our lives with Him - pray about everything - pray unceasingly.

I'm not an expert on prayer, but I don't have to be to know that it is important to God. If we want to have a strong friendship with Him, we MUST include prayer as part of our every-day lives. We must pray throughout the day - not only at meals and before bed. And we should talk to God about anything and everything. Just like the poem says, prayer can be the difference in each day.

I am determined.

For my determined purpose is that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection... (Philippians 3:10)

'For my determined purpose is that I may know Him.' This is what Paul said. What a significant verse in God's word. When I read this, I feel like God is telling me that if I want to know Him, I have to do it on purpose. I cannot go through life as usual, giving God a nod on Sunday morning and before I eat or go to bed. I must be determined. I must seek Him - in prayer and in His word. And as I seek Him, as I spend time with Him, as I learn of His character through the words in the Bible, and as I hear what He has to say to me (both through reading and praying), what happens? Philippians 3:10 tells us that as we do these things, we progressively enter into a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. We learn to recognize Him, to perceive Him, and to understand Him more. We start to get a clearer picture of who God really is and what He wants for our lives. And we begin to experience and know the power that pours out of His crucifiction and resurrection.

That verse goes on to tell us that when we begin to really know Jesus, and stay in a relationship with Him, we begin to be transformed (continually, it says in the Amplified Bible, which tells me it's not all at once, but it is a continual process) into Jesus' likeness. Other verses of the New Testament tell us that when we truly love Jesus, we get so that we can't help but obey Him. To do anything other than obey Him and follow Him goes against who we are (who we've been transformed into) at that point.

This is not a verse that I just stumbled across by accident. It's what I've been living for the past few weeks. God started dealing with me in some areas of my knowledge of Him that were pretty gray shall we say. And it was at the point where I was severely struggling at times even just to pray because I felt so shaken and uncertain about what He was trying to show me. But at the same time, I knew I had to walk through it - I just didn't know how. Well, usually when I find myself thinking, 'I just don't know what to do' that's when I know the ONLY thing to do - turn to God in prayer & through His word. I was so confused and at a total loss to understand & wrap my mind around any part of what He was teaching me. So, I again went back to David's prayer in Psalm 27 - 'The one thing I ask of You is that I would stay in your presence, that I would see Your face, and meditate on You.' And I came back to this verse in Philippians that I mentioned first.

Well, walking into church today I was still uncertain. I drew guidance from Paul's letter to the Philippians, and set my mind and my heart to be determined to purposely worship God and give Him my time, even though I still felt shaken. And the coolest thing happened after service. I was given the opportunity to speak one-on-one with one of the elders in our church (whom I had not met before today). In the few minutes we talked together, God really used him to bring a lot of understanding and clarity to me. He settled my spirit and brought me back to focus. And as I began reading some of the verses this man had given to me, I began to SEE - in my spirit see - Jesus more clearly. And suddenly (thank God for suddenly's) the cloudiness and confusion was lifted, and I feel like I'm back on solid ground. I know that this outcome may have been different (or at least taken much longer) had I not followed God's word and been determined.

It is my purpose to live for Jesus, and I am determined to know Him the way Paul described - intimately, strongly, clearly. I am determined.

God is Faithful

Okay, so remember a few weeks ago, I shared that God was asking something of me that was proving to be pretty difficult for me to do. Well, I just wanted to share that in the first few weeks of being obedient to Him, God has already returned to me all that I gave up, and more. To me, this is an example of how faithful He is. What He says to us in the Bible is true - and it's true not just for a certain few people, but for anyone who will listen to what He says and obey Him.

Someone had asked me if I would be willing to share specifics related to this situation. While I don't want to go into every detail, I will share part of it with you.

We have always had a certain amount built into our budget for me to spend on scrapbooking supplies. Well, at the beginning of this year, God asked me to give that money to Him instead of spending it on me. Ouch! My only means of doing something for myself - indulging in something I enjoy - Ouch! But, with a lot of struggle, I decided to be obedient. And let me tell you that putting that first portion of it in the offering plate was PAINFUL. But, God is faithful, and He has honored His word. He not only has already returned that money to me, but has DOUBLED it in this short amount of time. AND He provided a way, through new design team positions, for me to have access to some awesome digital supplies FREE of charge! So, not only am I financially better off than I was before, but He has given me an unlimited supply of the one thing I would have been spending that money on anyhow! He just continually amazes me. I just wanted to give Him the glory for this thing He's done in my life - while it might seem little to an outsider looking in on me, it is HUGE to me.

2 verses I want to share with you (both from the King James Version):

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

Be Bold

Lately I've been kind of random in my studying. There are a few things I've been asking God to make clearer to me, and He's been doing that like only He can. So I've been kind of all over the place in my Bible, including rereading Revelations, which is always an interesting undertaking. I will say that I am getting much more out of it this time around than I ever have before, but I guess that's because I've been lead to read it, so there's obviously something in it that I need to see right now.

So, since I've been pretty sporadic, and have only been getting things in little bits & pieces, I have been unsure what I should post about here, if anything. Yesterday I didn't feel a need to post, but I did get brought back to a verse that I love and had not thought about for a while. Well, today when I was thinking about posting, God put this verse on my heart once more, and this time I feel like it needs to be shared. So, here it is...

• For we have not a high priest (meaning Jesus) which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16, King James Version)

I love this verse because it reminds me of a few very important things in my walk with God. First, Jesus has faced every form of trial and temptation, and knows & fully understands what I go through when I face struggles, temptations, trials, etc. There's just something very comforting in that. It's so much more meaningful to draw hope & strength from someone who has been through it and has conquered and overcome it.

The second thing I love about this verse is this: COME BOLDLY TO THE THRONE OF GRACE. Right here, in these few lines of scripture, the Bible tells us clearly that God knows what we are going through. He knows our struggles (so then He also knows our weaknesses & our sins). But these should not be reason to be afraid or ashamed to approach Him. We are told to come boldly to Him - not timid and ashamed, but BOLDLY, and He will help us and give us grace when we need it most. AWESOME.

I remember the first time I read this and realized what it was telling me. It had a total impact on the way I prayed and talked to God. I stopped feeling like I needed to get myself back on track before I asked for anything. Now, when I am struggling, I simply say, 'God I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I need you. Please forgive me. Please help me.' God is greatest in our weakness. He wants to help us, if we will only be so bold as to ask Him for help.