God at the Grocery

As you know, I've been asking God to work out my perspective. Today He made a little progress with me (I get the idea that sometimes I'm hard to get through to - LOL!). Just kind of put me in check before I got to far gone, I think. But He showed me that I'm putting to much weight on my 'quiet time' (you know - church time, church worship, prayer time, etc) and not enough on the practical. Not that those times are not valuable. They're incredible. But I was getting out of balance. He just gave me a simple revelation - a reminder really I guess you could call it. I don't have to be sitting in my bedroom, quiet and prayerful, or kneeling at the altar, or singing during worship at church to find Him. I can find Him doing the laundry, or getting groceries, or wiping grubby hands and faces. He's just as real, just as present, and just as awesome there as He is when I'm still. And I guess I was just forgetting to take time to look for Him there - to acknowledge Him. I've been so looking forward to the next quiet time, that I've devalued what He has for me during the practical parts of the day - the majority of the day! And really, how would Lucas like it if I only talked to him when the kids were in bed, and the house was clean, and all the work was done, and everything was just right and perfect? No, he listens to me while I'm in the midst of chaos - he'll even follow me upstairs if we're talking and I need to move up their to keep doing what I'm doing. So why would God be any different? And this is something I've always known. It's just something I had begun to lose site of.

Simplicity

The simplicity of God is sometimes what keeps me from understanding Him. I get in the way of myself. I clutter my perspective with details and specifics, when all I need to see is God. I truly do want whatever God wants for my life, but I think sometimes I try to get ahead of the game - plan ahead, get prepared. And just like Him, today He set me straight. He only said it once, because He knew I heard it. Although I was hoping for reinforcement or explanation, I got nothing. Instead, I got a lot of quiet time to sit and reflect, to study, and follow along until my perspective was cleared, and my heart was simplified. 'Walk each day with Me, and My will for you will unfold.'

Yes, I want God's will, but I don't need to chase it. His will should not be my focus, He should be my focus. Just Him. He is sufficient. He is satisfying. He is glorious and beautiful and merciful and majestic and holy. Just Him. And when I set aside all the rest, and I just sit in His presence, He radiates. He just washes over me and fills me and refreshes me. He simplifies life. It's not that hard - focus on Him and let Him be God. Whatever His plan for me in the future, right now it is His will that I trust in Him and worship Him, and if I never do anything else, I will be fully satisfied doing exactly this.

Lord, I love the habitation of Your house (Your presence), and the place where Your glory dwells (Psalm 26:8)

The secret of the sweet, satisfying companionship of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its deep, inner meaning. My eyes are ever toward the Lord... (Psalm 25:14-15)

Lord today, in this moment, you have satisfied me, brought me to a moment of clarity and simplicity. My perspective is right when my focus is right. My focus is and always should be You, and nothing more. You are enough to satisfy me fully. You bring my spirit to rest. You restore and refresh me. Although the words seem insufficient, You are all I need.

How am I believing?

As many of you know, I have been on a journey to more intimately and completely know and understand my Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible says that those who seek Him will find Him, and so far He has been faithful to this. Each time I sit down and spend time with Him, He shows me something else that I didn't know or realize before. Today was no different.

Again, I was continuing in the book of John. Today I got through the end of Chapter 2. Well, Chapter 2 starts out with Jesus turning water into wine, and then goes into the story of Jesus overturning merchants' tables at the temple, then declaring that He will raise up again after His temple is destroyed. So that Chapter is kind of packed with stuff. And the stories were stories I was familiar with, and could easily envision, etc, so they grabbed my attention. Well, because I was paying attention to what I already knew, I almost missed what He was trying to really show me. At the end of Chapter 2, I had kind of come to the end of the meatier stories, and so I skimmed through the last few verses & started to close my Bible. Uh-uh...back up. Read verse 23 again.

• v 23: But when He was in Jerusalem during the Passover Feast, many believed in His name [identified themselves with His party] after seeing His signs (wonders, miracles) which He was doing.
• v 24: But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because He knew all [men];
• v 25: ...He could read men's hearts.

Sorry, not the most exciting verses I've ever read. 'Look again.'

Many believed (identified themselves with His party). Oh, that's way different than what usually is in brackets after the word 'believe.' In the Amplified, after believe, you often see 'adhered to, trusted in, and relied on Him'...not 'identified themselves with His party.' These people believed in Him to some degree, but they mostly were just jumping on the band-wagon - following the crowd.' This belief is not difficult - it's easy to go with the flow and follow popular opinion. This belief was incomplete, imperfect. And because of it, Jesus did not trust Himself to them. He did not open up to them. They did not get to know Him the way His disciples did. The disciples belief adhered to, trusted in, and relied on Him (John 2: 11 - ...and His disciples believed in Him [adhered to, trusted in, and relied on Him]). Even in a crowd, Jesus could discern their hearts - verse 25 tells us He could read men's hearts. And while these bystanders were welcome in His presence, He did not show Himself truly to them because He knew their hearts.

When He looks at my heart, I hope He will find a heart that is adhering to Him, relying on Him, and trusting in Him completely. Because, He showed me today, this is the condition my heart must be in before He will trust Himself to me...before He opens up and let's me get to really know Him.

The Case for Faith

I found myself this afternoon engrossed in a book that I had not intended to read - at least not today. I sat down to spend a little time with God, planning to read a little more in John, and then move on to some chores and cleaning that need to be done. Instead, I ended up picking up a book that I bought about a month ago with intentions of reading it when I got the time. The book is called 'The Case for Faith' and it's written by a man named Lee Strobel. Mr. Strobel was an atheist, a former journalist for the Chicago Tribune, who went on a quest to prove / disprove the existence of God (and in another book - The Case for Christ - the deity of Jesus). Although I have not read the book all the way through, I know that he has since abandoned atheism for a belief in God, so I am expecting to find the foundation for his transformation in his book.

In 'The Case for Faith' he addresses what he considers to be the 8 biggest questions that people have that hinder a belief in or a relationship with God. The first - and what he says is the biggest obstacle to faith - is this: 'Since evil and suffering exist, how can a loving God exist?' How can God allow all these horrible things to happen to people? We are often caught up on this issue - even those of us who would claim to be solid in our faith, from time to time, question why certain things happen - especially when they happen to God-fearing people. So Mr. Stroble seeks out a man named Peter Kreeft - a Catholic, and a philosopher - who authored the book 'Making Sense out of Suffering.' He records their conversation in this book...the questions - the answers - the counters. It's quite interesting, and definitely worth taking the time to read.

While I will not recount all of his arguments for the existence of God in the presence of evil and suffering, there are a few things that stood out to me that I wanted to share with you for thought.

1) One of the coolest things about God - one of the things that is a defining characteristic of God - and one of the reasons it is easy to respect Him, if not love Him, is that He gives us free will. He made humankind with the freedom to choose - to choose to serve God or choose to deny Him. And with that freedom of choice, the possibility for evil is introduced. If we can choose our actions, then we can choose to do something less than the perfect will of God. We can choose to say a mean thing, or think an evil thought that may lead to an evil action. We may choose to do something that will result in someone else's suffering. This is not GOD's choice - He would prefer that we choose Him - that we choose all that is good and all that is right. But He will never force that on us - we must choose it for ourselves. And because He will not force us to choose Him, he must allow us to choose evil. Thus, He must allow evil to exist. Otherwise, we must give up our freedom of choice. In the face of logic & reason, there can be no other way for the 2 to simultaneously exist (the 2 being freedom of choice and a world without choice, and thus a world without evil).

2) In a world where evil is a possibility, Love is the answer to evil. It is the response. It is the prevention. Humans have the capability to eliminate evil. And God does not do for us what we are capable of doing ourselves. He may provide divine connection, or divine intervention for circumstances that we otherwise could not arrange or handle without him. But we are all capable of reaching out to those in need. We are capable of listening to those who need to talk, of accepting the unacceptable, of loving the difficult to love. We are capable to aiding those in crisis, of feeding those who are hungry. We cannot each do all of this, but we all can do something. And if each one of us touches the life of someone else with the Love of Jesus, we may just change the path of their choices - we may just prevent one act of evil. Or our love expressed to them in their time of suffering could be the catalyst for healing and change in their lives, which may in turn allow them to reach into the lives of others. This is well within our capabilities, and we each should act on it to the degree that we are capable and are given the opportunity.

3) And maybe my favorite point that Kreeft made in his conversation with Strobel, although possibly the one that is most abstract, and therefore the least relevant, for who those who have not experienced it, is the presence of God. Compared to the awesomeness of the presence of God, the degree of our suffering, no matter how significant it may seem at the time of the suffering, will pale in significance. Job lost seemingly everything by the world's standards, yet in the end, he sees God - he is in the presence of God, and that is enough to satsify him.

And here's another angle to look at the presence of God:
The fact that in all suffering Jesus is there with us, and He feels our pain even more deeply than we do, gives us strength to endure. Jesus is not isolated from the suffering of the world. In fact, He endured the ultimate suffering on the cross. And even though that was 2,000 years ago, He continues to go through it with us - to feel beyond what we feel. And for this alone He, if for no other reason (although there are many), I love Him.

Coming into focus

(Okay, this is long, but please bear with me.)

I'll be very honest with you. Not so long ago I began to struggle with a foundational concept of my Christianity - a concept that is at the heart of who God is. I began to question what I knew and believed about the Trinity. Are God and Jesus the same? Are they separate? Then how is there only one God and no other? Who do I pray to - God or Jesus? And on and on. This was huge for me. It shook me to the core. I struggled to know who to pray to, how to pray, what to pray. I struggled to worship, because I was clouded with doubt and confusion. At the time, I shared with you that I was going through a hard time, but didn't give specifics, because I didn't feel it was right at the time.

Although I knew I couldn't change what I was going through, I knew that confusion is not from God, and I had to get through it. So I found a few scriptures to stand on, and I stuck with them until I found peace again.

• One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord (in the presence of God) all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire (meditate) in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)
• For my determined purpose is that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection... (Philippians 3:10)

Within a short time, I saw God's faithfulness in honoring my decision to cling to Him at a time when I failed to understand, and even sometimes questioned, Him. It was not long before I felt settled. Even though I still didn't have a clear head knowledge, I began to understand it in my heart (which is often the way it has to be with God, because so much of Him is beyond our limited understanding anyhow). And what the enemy intended for evil, God has used for good, just like He says He will (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28) As I've continued to spend my time and attention determined to have a clearer, deeper, more intimate understanding of Him, He has begun to reveal Himself to me. I know am not the only person who has ever questioned this, or failed to understand this...it's difficult to comprehend, really, without proper perspective. So I wanted to share some of what I have begun to see, and hope that maybe it will help some of you who have ever had similar questions.

I knew a few things from the start, just because of what I knew of the Bible:

1. Jesus is the son of God.
2. I am able to come to God through Jesus - pray to God through Jesus - be in the presence of God through Jesus
3. I did not in any way ever question the deity of Jesus. I simply did not understand. (I think my biggest question at that time was, 'Do Jesus and God exist separately - like as 2 separate beings - in heaven?')

So if I knew these things already, it seems like I should not have had this issue. So what caused me to question? I was in a transition in my walk with God - that doesn't make Satan very happy, and he comes at you hard in times like that.)

As I read, and studied, and listened, and prayed, I believe God gave me a pretty simple illustration. When I first saw it, I was so excited, but I wanted to make sure that it would hold up to several tests against verses in the Bible, etc. But this was it - a simple revelation:

I was reading John 14, and I came across this verse that I've known since childhood: Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) And I had this quick thought run through my head - "That's kind of funny, you have to walk through Jesus to get to God - like a door." EXACTLY resonated through my entire spirit. And I saw it like this - The essence of God is in a room contained by the 4 walls, and Jesus is the doorway - the opening in the wall that gives entrance to that room. The room has no access without a door, and a door serves no purpose without a room. The 2 are separate but inseparable. If I stand in a doorway to a room, I am exposed to (in contact with) the air inside that very room. In the same way, if I remain in Jesus, I also remain in God. I also saw that what God wants to give to the world, He gives through His son Jesus Christ (in other words, He passes it through the doorway). This is true of salvation. This is true of love, righteousness, and peace.

But would it hold up - this concept of the doorway? Well, one verse came to mind right away: 'For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.' (Matthew 7:8)

Then I was reading today, again in the book of John (which I've found to be full of explanation of Jesus). John 1:1-3 - IN THE beginning [before all time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself. He was present originally with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being.

So what did this passage tell me?

1. Jesus has always been - since before time
2. Jesus has always been with God (which draws a distinction between Jesus & God the Father)
3. Jesus Himself is God (which includes Him as part of the Trinity)
4. Jesus is the living Word of God
5. The language 'through, with' is used to describe Jesus' roll in creation. God worked through Jesus - with Jesus - to create all that ever has and ever will come into being. Well, in the book of Genesis, we are told that God spoke all things into creation. Jesus is the word of God. God worked through Jesus to create the heavens and the earth. And again, what God wanted to give to the world, He gave through Jesus (like I said, passing it through the doorway).

So my head-understanding is beginning to catch up now with my spirit understanding. And the picture is beginning to come into focus in a way that I can share it with you. I understand now that I don't need to struggle so much with understanding how to separate Jesus and God in my head - they don't need to be separated. While they are 2 distinct entities, they are inseparable. If I knock on the door that is Jesus, it will open up to the air of God. If I stand in the doorway that is Jesus, I am also standing in the presence of God. What I give to Jesus, passes through Him and to the Father. What I ask of God passes through Jesus and on to me. The 2 complete each other, and make each other perfect. If one is glorified, the other is glorified. And it's not nearly as complicated as I was trying to make it.

Adoni

I just did this layout today after church. I have been thinking for the last few days of starting an 8x8 album just to document and express my faith through scrapbooking. This is my first layout.

Personal Perspective

Lord the one thing I ask of You is to stay daily in Your presence. I want to know You more each day. I want to understand You in my spirit in a way that is beyond what I can understand with my mind. God I would ask You to stay near me, but I know I do not have to ask this of You, because You are always with me. It is my own perspective, and not Your proximity, that needs transformed. So I ask You to change my perspective. Make me aware of Your presence through every moment of every day. Give me understanding of Your constant love, Your constant presence. Let me understand the depth of Your love for me. Change my perspective so that I can see the true power of Your presence in me. Don't let me limit You by my own perceptions and views of what You are capable of, but change my perspective - remove all boundaries that I've set on You with regards to my life - boundaries I've created through my own limited understanding, so that You can use me to Your fullest ability, in whatever way you choose. God, I release my life to You in faith, believing that You are big enough to do whatever You will in me and through me. If there are hindrances that prevent me from being available to You, God, show me what they are, reveal them to me, and show me what is necessary to break them down and remove them so that You can flow through me for Your design. God teach me to see things the way You see them. Reveal Your heart to me. Let me love others the way You love them. Let me see a situation for what it's really worth, and not make more of something that I should, and not pass over something that is important to You. Teach me to live as You lived here on earth Jesus. Teach me to walk - to stay - in the presence of the Spirit, to follow hard after the will of the Father, to be unshaken, to not be led astray, to not be distracted or pulled off course. God my perspective is my greatest weakness. I need you. I need your transformation in my life. God change me - Lord through your Spirit, give me proper perspective. I need you Lord. I love you.

(So this is my heart, just laid out there for anyone to read. I normally would not share this with the whole world, as my prayer time is very personal to me. But, here I am, sharing anyway. I hope that God will use it in some way for someone who comes across this. This was the bulk of my prayer time this afternoon - the moment it left my mouth, I knew it was a prayer that had just changed the course of my life. I have only now to wait and see the outcome. But in my spirit, I knew immediately that this was what God has been trying to bring me to realize, and it was what needed to be said.)

A Vine to Cling to

I hope everyone had a beautiful Easter weekend (regardless of the weather). With Lucas off of work, we had a much needed week together as a family. We took the week to go back to Ohio to visit some of our family, and it was an awesome visit.

But with the week full of visiting and traveling and Easter activities (and a little shopping), I had very little time to spend one-on-one with God. I was able to spend a few minutes at a time in prayer throughout each day, but it was not enough to feel satisfied. I was missing the quiet time that I usually spend just talking and listening and waiting. And by Friday morning it was wearing on me. I just felt so drained, and I could feel myself starting to get a little edgy. I was distracted at times because I just wanted to find a way to slip away for an hour. It has just become such a part of my day - a part I look forward to so much, and depend on for my stability - that I felt incomplete without it. So while I loved visiting, I was relieved to get home Saturday evening and have time to unwind, relax, and finally have that quiet time I had been longing for.

Each day that I walk with God I see more clearly that He truly is vital to me. I cannot live without Him. In the book of John Jesus says "I am the vine and you are the branches" (John 15:5). He goes on to say "If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up." Think of that for a minute. Think of what happens to a branch when it has been removed from its tree. It lays on the ground, alone and detached, and it begins to wither and die. Every day spent apart from Jesus, we wither just a bit more. Too many days without Him, and we dry up completely. This is why we feel lost, frustrated, exhausted, edgy, desperate. These feelings do not come from Him, and they are a sure sign that we need to get up and cling to the vine we've fallen away from.

This weekend was an effective reminder for me of just how true this really is. It's really not enough to visit God in church on Sunday (or maybe just on major holidays like the one we just celebrated). To truly sustain the abundance of life that He offers, we must abide in Him, the way a branch abides on the vine. A branch just stays and draws its life and energy from its vine. This is God's design for our lives. This is why Jesus died - to give us life (John 10:10 - 'I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows').

From the bottom of my heart, this is my wish for you. I wish for you to take FULL advantage of all that Jesus is offering. He has already done the work. He has already made this fulness of life available to you. All you have to do is grab ahold of the Vine and stay. All He wants is for you to willingly offer your heart, and in return you will recieve so much more than you ever could have imagined.

If I can help you in any way, please don't hesitate to contact me (r_walker78 (at) hotmail.com - replace (at) with @ and remove spaces)