Choose

Parenting.

Isn't it fun?!

Most of the time I enjoy parenting. I love the playing around times, the laughing times, the proud moments, the snuggles and bedtime hugs and kisses. There is so much to love about being a mom.

What I do not LOVE so much - at least what I have difficulty enjoying - are all the hard times. The times when the kids are disrespectful, disobedient, difficult (ever notice that lots of 'trouble' words start with 'D'?... just an observation).

Several times in the past few weeks, after tucking the kids in for bed and going on about my business (aka... enjoying the peace and quiet of the house and sitting down to take a breath), I have caught Sebastian out of bed. Sometimes he's in Meagan's room. Sometimes in Isaac's. Sometimes just playing around in the bathroom or the hallway. But never where he should be, which is in his bed.

The first time he told me, "I was telling Meagan goodnight. I forgot to." Sweet... how do you argue with that?

Second time: "I just had to tell Isaac something." A little weak... go to bed.

Third time: He didn't say anything, just ran as fast as he could back to his bed, hoping I didn't notice. Um, nice try kid. I noticed.

You get the picture. So tonight as I was tucking him in, the last thing I said to him before I turned out the lights was... you guessed it... 'STAY IN BED.' He said okay. He promised.

Five minutes later I came up to get my phone that I had left laying in the hallway, and I saw a dark figure scurry from the dark bathroom into the dark bedroom across the hall. So, I flipped on his bedroom light and asked him to explain himself. Why was he out of bed? He lay there looking back at me with nothing to say. I turned off his CD player, which is a bed time privilege that he lost for the night, turned off the light, told him to STAY, and left the room.

It had been my intention to leave it at that. He would get the point, know he had done wrong, etc. But apparently God had other plans...

A few minutes later, as I walked back up the stairs to get ready for bed, I made a sudden and clear decision to make a detour into Sebastian's room. I sat down on his bed and spoke very plainly to him. I told him that some day he would want freedom to do certain things - go with his friends to a movie or a game, etc - and the only way that Lucas and I will be able to allow him to do those things is if we feel that we can trust him - if we believe he will make good choices, do what is right because it is right, do what he says he will do, be where he says he will be, and so on. I asked him if he thought his behavior tonight showed me that I could trust him or not trust him. His answer was absolutely the right one. He knew.

I asked him if he KNEW that he was wrong by being out of bed. YES. Yet he chose to do it anyway? YES. Why? (No response.) Then very clearly, a verse in Deuteronomy (30:19) came to mind: I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore, choose life that you and your descendants may live.

I explained to him that good decisions lead to good things in your life. When we choose to do things the way God has designed for us to do them, then we reap the rewards of those choices. We have life, peace, joy, and every good thing that God gives us. Those are the rewards for doing what is right. When we choose to behave in contrast to God's ways, we are choosing to heap up negative rewards in our lives: fear, anger, uncertainty, anxiety, and even death. Not good stuff.

In kid terms, we have a choice in everything we do. We can choose to do what we FEEL like doing, or we can choose to do what is RIGHT - because it it right. Not because it's fun, or it's easy, or it's what everyone else is doing. Because it is the right thing to do. It is our choice. And what we choose determines the direction our life will go.

I was sure to tell him that I was not angry, and that I had already forgiven him. I was simply sad and disappointed that he had made a poor choice. I told him, I have forgiven you. It's over this time. The next chance you get, you can choose to make the right choice. Then I left the room to let him sleep.

As I sat and thought of it afterward, I couldn't help but be in awe of God and His infinite wisdom. What I was going to leave 'as-is,' He was intent on using to teach my child and to use the teaching moment to mold and shape him into the man he is becoming. I love that about God. I love that even when I am clueless, He is an amazing parent.

I'm just glad I listened. I guess tonight, that was my choice.