Come Closer

Luke 4:39 - So He bent over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up at once and began to wait on them.

I've read this story more than once, especially since it appears in more than one of the gospels. Jesus goes into Simon's home; Simon's mother-in-law is sick; Jesus heals her; she get's up and goes on about her business. Simple enough. I've never really gotten much out of the story, besides that it's another documented case of Jesus healing someone miraculously. But today in my studying, it came to my attention (with a little help from Beth Moore, LOL...I've been going through this book, and it's full of thought-provoking insight into the life of Jesus.), that Jesus bent over her. Just like a mother bends over her children to care for them when they aren't feeling well. This verse gives us a portrait of Jesus being intimately engaged with this woman out of genuine love and concern for her. He could have healed her from a distance - from the doorway, across the room, with just a spoken word. He could have. But His heart led him to engage with her, one-on-one, in her personal space. She was lying in bed. He came to her side and leaned over her and healed her.

So I started thinking about Jesus in a broader scope, outside of this one verse. His healing, His protection, and His presense in our lives is done with love and intimacy. It's His nature. But He will not impose Himself on us; He will only come as close as we allow. We determine our level of intimacy with Jesus. We determine how close He may come, what roll He can play in our healing and in our lives.

I thought next of Simon-Peter's mother-in-law, and the condition of her heart toward Jesus. To be lying weak in bed and allow someone to lean over you in close proximity requires a certain heart position. She had to trust Jesus. She had to submit to His position over her, and she had to allow herself to be in a state of vulnerability. If any one of these were not true, she would not have allowed Him to take the position He took. In the same way, if we withhold any one of these things from Him, we are effectively limiting His presence in our lives.

As I thought through this in my heart, I was moved to tears by His tenderness, and by His heart. Think of how He feels about us - how much He wants to do for us. Think how his heart must break when we put up walls and impose restrictions on Him. I think just as a mother, how I would feel...to have the ability to help my child, yet have my child refuse my help - that would tear me up inside. I would feel helpless, hurt, rejected, and maybe even somewhat devalued as a mother. It's almost too much to think that Jesus might feel like that on my account. I thought about my own life, and wondered about the level of closeness I actually allow. Have I opened up my home to Him? Have I invited Him into every situation? Or have I asked Him to stand in the doorway while we eat, or while we pay the bills? Have I made room for Him in the van when we go on road trips? Or do I just expect Him to keep us safe from a distance? How much closeness and intimacy have I invited into my relationship with Jesus? I hope a lot, but I'm afraid that it might be less than I would like to believe.

As I looked back at the heart-condition of Simon's mother-in-law, I compared that to my own heart. Yes, I trust Him. Yes, I am willing to submit to Him. But maybe I'm a little hesitant on the vulnerability part. I think I'm sometimes afraid to open up and let go of stuff, afraid I might be disappointed. But I see now that, by holding back in this area, I'm actually limiting His ability to work in my life, thus setting myself up for disappointment. I realize that my heart needs to be softened toward Him; it needs to be always turned toward Him; I need to choose to be vulnerable - to let my heart be laid wide open to Him, holding nothing back. I don't want Him to have to stand five feet from me when I'm lying sick in bed. I want Him to lean over me with love and concern and heal me close-up. I want Him - I need Him - to come closer.