KNOW: defined

John 17:3 - (Jesus is praying) Now this is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. (NIV)

Something about this verse completely captivated me when I was reading it, and my reading turned into studying. It seems like such a short verse, and fairly simple to understand, but it seemed to me like there was more beneath the surface of it than what I was getting by simply reading it on my own understanding. What first caught my attention is that in the amplified Bible the word know is expanded on...to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with and understand. As I read these words - PERCEIVE. RECOGNIZE. ACQUAINTED. UNDERSTAND. - they all felt a little empty to me...like I wasn't really getting the full meaning. And I can't imagine Jesus praying an empty prayer - seems contrary to Who He is. So, I decided I should look into it further. I got out the dictionary that has been tucked in a drawer in the basement for years, and I looked up each of these words. What I found blew me away. These words are not empty at all, and in no way do they indicate a casual knowledge of God. In fact, some of the definitions flat floored me. I had no idea the depth of what was meant by this short line of scripture. Here's what I found...

According to Websters dictionary, here are a few of the definitions of KNOW:

• to have a clear perception or understanding of
• to be aware or cognizant of
• to have perceived or learned
• to have a firm mental grasp of
• to be acquainted with/ familiar with
• to experience

PERCEIVE:

• to take hold of; to feel; to comprehend
• to grasp mentally; to observe
• to become aware of through sight, hearing, touch, taste or smell
• SYNONYMY - to discern

RECOGNIZE

• to be aware of from familiarity or previous encounters
• to know by some detail or characteristic
• to be aware of the significance of
• to acknowledge the existence, validity and/or genuineness of
• to accept as fact; to admit or confess as true
• to acknowledge as worthy of appreciation or approval

ACQUAINT

• to let know; to give/impart knowledge to
• to cause to know personally; to make familiar

UNDERSTAND

• to know thoroughly
• to grasp or perceive clearly and fully the nature, character, etc. of
• to be informed; believe

Everything about these definitions implies a personal, experiential knowledge of God. A familiar, intimate relationship. It is His intention that we have a clear mental comprehension of Him, and that we experience Him with our senses and our observations. It is His intention that we are continually aware of Him and can feel His presence in our lives. That we know Him so well, and so personally, that we begin to know His very character, and the details of Who He is...that we know Him thoroughly and perceive Him clearly and fully. He does not intend to remain hidden from us, but it is His desire to acquaint us with Himself and His ways - to let us know Him; to impart to us knowledge of Himself. We have only to seek Him to find Him.

I cannot look at these definitions of these few simple words without getting totally excited about how incredible God is. This is what Jesus was praying - that we would KNOW Him this way. This was the prayer of the heart of our Savior. Why? Because this is eternal life - to know Him. And eternal life is what He died for.

Eternal life does not come through religion, through deeds, through good behavior, or even through belief alone (faith without deeds is useless - James 2:20). To have eternal life, we must know God (and likewise Jesus). To know Him the way He intends requires us to seek Him, to spend time with Him, to talk to Him, to listen to Him, and to learn about Him through His Word and through teachings. It is an active process that we must do on purpose. It is not possible to know God by merely passively acknowledging Him. We cannot accidentally, or casually come into the kind of knowledge and familiarity He intends for us. Eternal life is a relationship with Him, and we must seek it. This is the prayer of Jesus for each one of us.

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (Matthew 7:21-23)

Cry Baby!

If any of you happen to read my other blog (My State of Crazy), you will already know that last night was the first night since the day she was born that Meagan had to sleep (or not so much sleep as scream) without her pacifier. Needless to say, it didn't go so well.

Well, since I didn't have to get up for work this morning, I got all-night duty...really - ALL NIGHT. She was absolutely miserable, poor thing. I found myself torn between feeling sorry for her and feeling frustrated with her.

Somewhere around 1:00, it occurred to me to pray for her - that God would comfort her and give her peace so that she could rest. At 3:00 she was still going strong with the screaming and tossing and turning. It wasn't looking so much like God was listening - He must have a mighty strong pair of ear plugs, because I don't know how He couldn't have heard her! LOL! So, I prayed again that He would calm her down and help her sleep. Still, she kept on. Keep in mind that I was extremely tired and not thinking clearly, but I was starting to get a little irked at God. What's the deal here? You're the God of the universe and you can't put a baby to sleep?! What's up with that?!

Today, though, in my more rested, more clear state of mind, I'm over my irked-ness (not a word, I'm sure, but I'll still use it). I did ask the question, though, 'Why didn't my prayers seem to get a response?' Never ask a question if you don't really want the answer. (Sometimes gut checks can sting a little).

So, here are the three things that stood out to me in response to this question:

For starters, my motivation was ugly. I was praying out of totally selfish motivations...first and foremost my prayers were prompted not by my concern for Meagan, but by my desire for sleep.

Then, secondly, there's this verse - Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting)... For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord. (James 1:6-7) Want the truth? While I was praying for Him to help in the situation, I was already preparing myself for the 'likelihood' that it wouldn't work anyway. So I was really just praying an empty, faithless prayer, which means nothing and does not in any way inspire God to act. Nice.

Last thing He showed me? That it wasn't hurting Meagan to cry, but that it was 'squeezing' me to be exposed to a situation like that one, where my patience and attitude would be tested. I'll explain what I mean by that...

I've shared with you before that I've often struggled with my patience. Well, patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit. And the Bible says that others will truly know a Christian by their fruits. A while back, our pastor did a series on the fruits of the Spirit, and he gave the analogy of an orange at a fruit stand. Ever bought an orange that looked nice and ripe, good color, then get home and cut into it only to find there's no juice? Well, the only way to know what's really in an orange is to squeeze it and see if any juice comes out. In the same way, the only way to know what's in a Christian is to squeeze them. This is part of the process for developing the fruits of the Spirit in us. Last night, my patience was being squeezed to provide a sort of 'progress report' for me. It was of greater benefit to allow her to cry and to test me than to relieve the crying and to ease my irritations.

So, while God is fully capable of calming a crying baby, He can also exercise His right NOT to. Just because He CAN, doesn't mean He WILL. God doesn't always swoop in and rescue us from every situation that we don't like - as I was well reminded last night. Without trials in my life, Godly character can never be properly developed. I realize, a crying baby for one night isn't all that much of a trial, relatively speaking, but it was enough to get His point(s) across to me. It reminded me of His sovereignty. It reminded me of the proper attitude of faith that is required for effective prayer. It also worked to keep any improper pride in check in my heart, reminding me that He alone gives me the grace to endure when the strength of my own patience, apart from Him, is insufficient. In my weakness, His greatness shows.

2 Corinthians 12: 8-9

• 8 - Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me;
• 9 - But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

God, give me words to speak

This past weekend I was invited to share my testimony as part of our church service. Our pastor did a message called Life is not a game. They decorated the sanctuary like the game of life (they even made a giant-sized spinner - it looked very cool). He incorporated the testimonies of four people who had come to Christ (or come back to Him) at different stages in life - one in high school, one just after college, one after marriage, and one after a marriage ended. It was exciting to be given the chance to share with people, and humbling at the same time. For those of you who know me, you know I'm a talker. Whether I'm talking to one person or to a hundred, talking doesn't bother me. So I wasn't really nervous about being in front of people. I was more nervous about talking too much and too long, and no matter how much or how little time I took, I prayed that what I shared would resonate with someone who could take something from it.

The night before, I was taking a little quiet time with God, trying to keep myself focused on Him so that I didn't leave myself vulnerable to craziness. At 9:00 Saturday night, I still didn't know what I was going to say, and I was starting to wonder a little if I was going to be ready. But during my prayer time, God impressed on my heart Jeremiah 1. No specific verse, just chapter 1. So I flipped there and started reading. When you don't know where to start, I guess the beginning is a good place!

(The first four verses tell about the backdrop of the time and place where Jeremiah was when these things took place.)

(Jeremiah 1: 5 - 9) Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am only a youth.

But the Lord said to me, Say not, I am only a youth; for you shall go to all to whom I shall send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.

Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.

How cool was that - what total reassurance to me that God, at the right time, would give me the words to speak, and would give me the grace to speak them. It's stuff like this that just gets me - I never could have picked out of all the Bible a passage of scripture to say exactly this to me, to speak to me about the one thing I was praying about at the time. I'm so completely unfamiliar with the Old Testament, there's just no way I could have made this up on my own. It's stuff like this that reminds me time and time again of how real God really is, and how present He is, and how interested He is in what's happening in my life. How can I help but to stand in total awe of Him?

Anyway, I'm happy to report that all went well. I felt comfortable, and words came to mind and came out fairly effortlessly. (I think once I stumbled over a word maybe?) It was a very cool experience, and I was happy to be a part of it.