Can I just say that the past three days following my Mega Sports Camp experience have been quite interesting. It seems like everywhere I go now, I am seeing some of my dance girls. Friday at Meijer I saw 2 of the girls. Then last night at Wal-Mart I got to see three more, and their families...very cool! Then today, one of the little girls and her family came to a picnic our church held to celebrate and honor those who serve our country. I can't even tell you how many times she ran back to me to give me just one more hug.
I love the fact that church and community are overlapping. I love that my interaction with these children and their families isn't limited to the three days of sports camp, but that I am being given opportunities to see them and be seen in every-day life kind of ways. I think that it's in the every-day way we live that we have the greatest impact on those who have taken notice of us. They may know us from a certain event or encounter or moment. But it's that introduction that causes them to observe us more carefully to see how we are every day.
Not long ago, in prayer, I was seeking God for some direction and that sort of thing regarding my own life, as well as for my family as a whole. He spoke something very simple to me: 'Live extraordinary in the midst of ordinary.' Then He immediately listed off Biblical examples for me - some of whose stories I had never read, so I had to go searching. Moses. Ester. Ruth. David. Peter. Paul.
Ruth was one of the stories I had to go looking for. I even had to read it a few times over to understand what exactly it was that she did so extraordinarily, because she appears to be quite ordinary. But I realized that she loved extraordinarily. She responded to Naomi with an extraordinary love and loyalty. A selflessness that goes above and beyond. She responded this way simply because it was her nature, not because she expected great things to come of it. But in doing so, she not only secured her family situation - a situation that had been quite shaky and worrisome for a time - but she also established herself as a member of the lineage of Jesus Christ. Her life was very ordinary, but she lived extraordinarily. She impacted the lives of others around her for the better. She shaped the course of her life, and of generations to follow. Ruth's extraordinary responses to ordinary circumstances impacted, shaped, changed the world forever. Her life became a layer upon which our lives have been built so many seemingly countless years later. That is the kind of life that God can use.
As I read through stories like Ruth's, and as I realize that in my own life my actions and responses to circumstances - every day ordinary circumstances - are being observed, and are shaping the ideas and attitudes of those observing me, I am challenged to press into Jesus more than I ever have before, so that His ways become mine. So that my natural manner of responding is one that will accurately reflect Him and that will please Him and honor Him. So that when others are watching, even when I am unaware or unsuspecting, they will see a life lived extraordinarily, no matter how ordinary the circumstances may be, and God will receive the glory for it. I want my life to be one that God can use.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Mega Sports Camp
Just wanted to give God some praise!!
It's been a busy week. Busy but good...VERY good! This week was our church's Mega Sports Camp outreach. It's a free sports camp open to the community, for kids ages 6-12. This year, the sports offered were soccer, baseball, and dance. Because my good friend was overseeing the organization of the camp, and because there was a need for coaches, I agreed to be a dance coach, which somehow then evolved into a 'head' dance coach. I'll be honest, I was pretty reluctant to do it. Not for any particular reason. I simply underestimated how awesome the experience would be. Now I can't wait to do it again next year!
I was continually blown away by the love these little children were so ready and willing to express, and were so desperately wanting to receive. Children I hardly knew, or didn't know at all, were gravitating to me and following me wherever I went. They were walking up to me and randomly hugging me - the biggest squeezes imaginable. It was so completely cool to see the smiles on their faces just because I gave them a hug, or a high five, or a little compliment.
I was also consistently amazed at the depth of the issues that these little girls are facing day-to-day. In our small group times, the things they were saying were not the kind of things I expected them to bring up. There were issues of death, violence, divorces, custody battles, physical illnesses, money issues, and on and on. I was heartbroken to get a glimpse into the messes that some of them are immersed in. I felt privileged, and rather humbled really, to have a chance to pray for these girls, to pray over them, to pray for their families, and even to pray with a few of them to ask Jesus into their lives. AWESOME!
As I was praying tonight in preparation for tonight's camp session, I really felt led to pray that this event, and that these moments and encounters would be a catalyst for real life change for these kids & for their families - and as families are changing, our community would also begin to change. I know it just looked like a sports camp on the outside, but at the root of this event is an element of God's great plan. I've seen before how God can enter into a closed-off family through the open heart of a child. I'm excited to see how He uses this camp to carry out His plan for us! What awesome potential we just experienced over the past three nights! He is amazing!
It's been a busy week. Busy but good...VERY good! This week was our church's Mega Sports Camp outreach. It's a free sports camp open to the community, for kids ages 6-12. This year, the sports offered were soccer, baseball, and dance. Because my good friend was overseeing the organization of the camp, and because there was a need for coaches, I agreed to be a dance coach, which somehow then evolved into a 'head' dance coach. I'll be honest, I was pretty reluctant to do it. Not for any particular reason. I simply underestimated how awesome the experience would be. Now I can't wait to do it again next year!
I was continually blown away by the love these little children were so ready and willing to express, and were so desperately wanting to receive. Children I hardly knew, or didn't know at all, were gravitating to me and following me wherever I went. They were walking up to me and randomly hugging me - the biggest squeezes imaginable. It was so completely cool to see the smiles on their faces just because I gave them a hug, or a high five, or a little compliment.
I was also consistently amazed at the depth of the issues that these little girls are facing day-to-day. In our small group times, the things they were saying were not the kind of things I expected them to bring up. There were issues of death, violence, divorces, custody battles, physical illnesses, money issues, and on and on. I was heartbroken to get a glimpse into the messes that some of them are immersed in. I felt privileged, and rather humbled really, to have a chance to pray for these girls, to pray over them, to pray for their families, and even to pray with a few of them to ask Jesus into their lives. AWESOME!
As I was praying tonight in preparation for tonight's camp session, I really felt led to pray that this event, and that these moments and encounters would be a catalyst for real life change for these kids & for their families - and as families are changing, our community would also begin to change. I know it just looked like a sports camp on the outside, but at the root of this event is an element of God's great plan. I've seen before how God can enter into a closed-off family through the open heart of a child. I'm excited to see how He uses this camp to carry out His plan for us! What awesome potential we just experienced over the past three nights! He is amazing!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Unbroken Communion
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for and insistently require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord (in His presence) all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to meditate, consider and inquire in His temple. You have said, Seek My face - inquire for and require My presence as your vital need. My heart says to You, Your face, Your presence, Lord will I seek, inquire for, and require of necessity and on the authority of Your Word. (Psalm 27: 4, 8)
I know I've referenced these verses more than once before. They are some of my favorites, and I come back to them for strength and perspective pretty regularly. Since the first time I heard this passage of scripture, I was intrigued. There is a depth to it that seems to draw me in. It has served as many things to me. It has been a challenge to me - is God's presence my first priority? It has served as encouragement to me. It has given me perspective and helped me to refocus on God when life tries to take His place in my heart.
But for the past several months, it has been a point of pondering for me. I am captivated by David's heart for the Lord. I adore the passion that is at the root of the life he lived for God. I have often wondered at a young man standing in the fields spinning and dancing for the Lord. Although he was not spotless in life, his heart amazes me. And every time I would read this Psalm (27) again, the language he used in these particular verses stirred something in me. It is language that describes adamant, intentional, unbroken communion with God. Unbroken. Continual. Unceasing.
And without being fully aware of it at first, in my spirit, I began to wonder if this was a possibility. I began to recognize that I have only begun to skim the surface of what is possible in a relationship with God. Even before my awareness caught up with my heart, I had began to pray that I would remain in the presence of God; continue in His presence; be always aware of Him; to not for a moment to lose sight of Him or to turn away from Him. Because I was loving the times that I would worship or pray and I would feel Him with me, but I was frustrated at other times when I would try to pray and feel like I couldn't find Him. How could I feel so close to Him and so sure of Him one moment, and in the same day struggle to feel anything but complete separation? For me, His presence sometimes was good, but not enough. So I continue to pray that He would continually remind me to think of Him, continually prompt me to pray, until I have developed a habit in my life that is so ingrained in me that I can't do anything else.
About two weeks ago, I was reading a book and I came across a few excerpts of a journal that was kept by a man named Frank Laubach. As I read, his words took my breath away. He had put into words exactly all that I had been feeling and trying to formulate in my heart for the past six months or so. This man was born in the late 1800's, and dedicated his life to teaching the illiterate to read. At the age of 45, he was dissatisfied with his spiritual life, and so determined that he would either spend every moment in continuous communion with God, or he would spend the rest of his life trying. The following are a few excerpts from his journal:
I know I've referenced these verses more than once before. They are some of my favorites, and I come back to them for strength and perspective pretty regularly. Since the first time I heard this passage of scripture, I was intrigued. There is a depth to it that seems to draw me in. It has served as many things to me. It has been a challenge to me - is God's presence my first priority? It has served as encouragement to me. It has given me perspective and helped me to refocus on God when life tries to take His place in my heart.
But for the past several months, it has been a point of pondering for me. I am captivated by David's heart for the Lord. I adore the passion that is at the root of the life he lived for God. I have often wondered at a young man standing in the fields spinning and dancing for the Lord. Although he was not spotless in life, his heart amazes me. And every time I would read this Psalm (27) again, the language he used in these particular verses stirred something in me. It is language that describes adamant, intentional, unbroken communion with God. Unbroken. Continual. Unceasing.
And without being fully aware of it at first, in my spirit, I began to wonder if this was a possibility. I began to recognize that I have only begun to skim the surface of what is possible in a relationship with God. Even before my awareness caught up with my heart, I had began to pray that I would remain in the presence of God; continue in His presence; be always aware of Him; to not for a moment to lose sight of Him or to turn away from Him. Because I was loving the times that I would worship or pray and I would feel Him with me, but I was frustrated at other times when I would try to pray and feel like I couldn't find Him. How could I feel so close to Him and so sure of Him one moment, and in the same day struggle to feel anything but complete separation? For me, His presence sometimes was good, but not enough. So I continue to pray that He would continually remind me to think of Him, continually prompt me to pray, until I have developed a habit in my life that is so ingrained in me that I can't do anything else.
About two weeks ago, I was reading a book and I came across a few excerpts of a journal that was kept by a man named Frank Laubach. As I read, his words took my breath away. He had put into words exactly all that I had been feeling and trying to formulate in my heart for the past six months or so. This man was born in the late 1800's, and dedicated his life to teaching the illiterate to read. At the age of 45, he was dissatisfied with his spiritual life, and so determined that he would either spend every moment in continuous communion with God, or he would spend the rest of his life trying. The following are a few excerpts from his journal:
January 26, 1930: "Can we have that contact with God all the time? All the time awake, fall asleep in His arms, and awake in His presence? Can we attain that? Can we do His will all the time? Can we think His thoughts all the time?...Can I bring the Lord back in my mind-flow every few seconds so that God shall always be in my mind? I choose to make the rest of my life an experiment in answering this question."
March 1, 1930: "This sense of being led by an unseen hand which takes mine while another hand reaches ahead and prepares the way, grows upon me daily...sometimes it requires a long time early in the morning. I determine not to get out of bed until that mind set upon the Lord is settled."June 1, 1930: "Ah, God, what a new nearness this brings for Thee and me, to realize that Thou alone canst understand me, for Thou alone knowest all! Thou art no longer a stranger, God! Thou are the only being in the universe who is not partly a stranger! Thou art all the way inside with me - here...I mean to struggle tonight and tomorrow as never before, not once to dismiss thee. For when I lose Thee for an hour I lose. The thing Thou wouldst do can only be done when Thous hast full sway all the time."
"For when I lose Thee for an hour I lose." I've felt like that so many times. The stark contrast between the satisfaction I feel when I sit in His presence and I am focused on Him compared to the withered feeling I feel when I am away too long. It makes me wonder why I stay away. If God is always present, why would I not pay attention to Him every moment of every day? Why would I not include Him in everything I do? Why would I not talk to Him about everything and in everything?
David says, I will seek You and insistently require You. Your presence will I require as my vital need. God's presence was not something David fell into on occasion, or at certain times of the week. He sought after God's presence. He actively looked for God, continually. A vital need is not a casual element of life. It is something we cannot be without. Like air to breath, it must be constant, and we must be continually breathing it in. It cannot cease to exist for even a moment, or we will cease to exist. It is vital. It is continuous. And we must actively take it.
God's presence, like the air we breath, is everywhere around us; it is readily available. But if we stubbornly hold our breath and refuse to take it in, it will be of little use to us. Like Frank Laubach, I am convinced that there is more than glimpsing the presence of God on occasion. What God wants from us, and what we need from Him is continued, unbroken communion. Sometimes talking; sometimes listening; or worshiping; or praising. But always aware of His presence, and always acknowledging Him in one way or another, so as never to lose sight of Him, not even for a moment. For when we lose Him for a moment, we lose. And all that He wants to do in and through us cannot be done until He has our everything, all the time.
Above all things, this is my heart's desire, and I will spend the rest of my life learning to never lose sight of Him and to remain continually in His presence.
Friday, May 30, 2008
For these 3 things alone?
When they had eaten, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these [others do--with reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion, as one loves the Father]? He said to Him, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You [that I have deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. He said to him, Feed My lambs.
Again He said to him the second time, Simon, son of John, do you love Me [with reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion, as one loves the Father]? He said to Him, Yes, Lord, You know that I love You [that I have a deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. He said to him, Shepherd (tend) My sheep.
He said to him the third time, Simon, son of John, do you love Me [with a deep, instinctive, personal affection for Me, as for a close friend]? Peter was grieved (was saddened and hurt) that He should ask him the third time, Do you love Me? And he said to Him, Lord, You know everything; You know that I love You [that I have a deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]. Jesus said to him, Feed My sheep.
I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, when you were young you girded yourself [put on your own belt or girdle] and you walked about wherever you pleased to go. But when you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will put a girdle around you and carry you where you do not wish to go. He said this to indicate by what kind of death Peter would glorify God. And after this, He said to him, Follow Me!
But Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved, following...When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man? Jesus said to him, If I want him to stay (survive, live) until I come, what is that to you? [What concern is it of yours?] You follow Me! (John 21: 15-22)
Look at the way Jesus wants us to love Him:
- with reasoning
- intentional spiritual devotion
- as one loves the Father
- with deep, personal affection
- as a close friend
As I was reading through this passage time and time again, I listened from Peter's perspective. What if Jesus told me today that I would certainly suffer an unpleasant death, and that He was not going to deliver me from that suffering, but that, instead, I would be asked to endure it for the glory of God? That's a pretty difficult thing to wrap my mind around, if I'm being honest. Really, I don't know about you, but I've always kind of had this idea that, as a child of God, I should be protected and exempted from suffering. Even though I know that's not what the Bible says, it still seems like it should be that way. Doesn't it? I mean, Jesus has been given all authority in heaven and on earth. As His own child, why wouldn't He step in and put a stop to the suffering?
This, in several forms, is a basic question that many non-believers offer up as a challenge to even the possibility that God exists. I've faced such questions myself, as unbelieving friends have challenged me to defend my faith. "If God is real, why..." Why do children die? Why do bad things happen? Why do Christians suffer? Why? Why? Why?
And it seems like Peter, in a less direct way, is asking the same thing of Jesus. "Well, what about that guy? Is he going to have to suffer? Why me? Why?"
Jesus knew that this was going to be a difficult pill for Peter to swallow. Look how He prefaces the topic. "Peter, Do you love Me? Do you love Me? Do you love Me?" Peter, do your life circumstances determine your willingness to serve Me? Or do you serve Me because you love Me? Will you love Me - will you follow Me - even if there are painful trials? Even if it seems someone else has it better?
Do you love Me with an intense, intentional, spiritual devotion; with a deep personal affection, as you love a close friend; love Me as one loves the Father? Do you love Me?
Then, because you love Me, follow Me. Live out your life as unto Me; be about My business here on earth while I am away. Use the time given to you to further the kingdom of heaven...in spite of circumstances. Don't follow Me because of what I can do for you - not for how you might benefit from knowing Me. Follow Me because you love Me; because I am God. Follow Me!
[After all] the kingdom of God is not a matter of [getting the] food and drink [one likes], but instead it is righteousness (that state which makes a person acceptable to God) and [heart] peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
The kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy. These three things Jesus died to give us -
- right standing with God,
- peace that passes understanding,
- and joy unspeakable.
These three things alone. I should have no other preconceived idea of what I will gain from following Jesus. This is not to say that God will not poor out blessings upon my life - upon the lives of those who love Him; it is not to say that He is an absent, removed God who does not protect and care for His children. It is simply this: At the root of my faith, am I willing to accept Him, to love Him, to follow Him, based on the kingdom Jesus died to make available to me? Am I willing to follow Him, love Him, and if need be suffer for Him, for these three things alone?
Is my God enough for me?
Yes.
Friday, May 23, 2008
The tragedy of religion
Okay. I've been sitting on this for about two months now. This is something I wrote in my journal back at the end of March, but have not shared so far for a couple reasons. The first reason: it's LONG (consider that your warning...LOL). The second reason: It's very likely to rock the boat, if you know what I mean. Finally today, for no reason in particular, I've decided to step out there and share these thoughts with you. The first part of it is a quoted passage directly from a book I've been reading (Authority of Prayer, by Dutch Sheets). The second part, my thoughts. Hang in there with me if you will. It's a little lengthy, but there is such power in the truth behind it.
The tragedy of 'religion' (words or actions without the power or substance that should accompany them - religiosity- see 2 Timothy 3:5) is this:
The tragedy of 'religion' (words or actions without the power or substance that should accompany them - religiosity- see 2 Timothy 3:5) is this:
Expressions like ['ruling and reigning' and 'more than conquerors'] are often only heartwarming phrases of religious denial among Christians - stemming from a mentality that spouts slogans and verses about 'overcoming,' while people are actually being beaten up by circumstances and walked on by the adversary at
every turn. For many believers it seems enough to simply be called an overcomer or to think of themselves as one. Christ's abundant life is, for them, an appealing hope, perhaps even an intent, but not actual. The tragic reality is:
- Their minds are controlled by sin and compromising thought.
- Their marriages fail along with those of the world around them.
- Their children grow up questioning God's reality or relevancy.
- Their business fail alongside those whose owners don't know God.
- They walk in very little true peace or joy, experiencing the same stressed
out lifestyle as unbelievers. (No wonder most unsaved Americans see no need for
God. What difference would He make? they question.)- They speak of prayer's power, but rarely pray; even less frequently do they
see answers.- They speak of an all-powerful God who is 'in charge' but who seems to be
losing control of our nation - our schools, government, and culture as a
whole.- They glibly sing, 'Come on, let's take this city...' but they haven't taken
even one yet, at least in the U.SYet off we go to our church services, week after week, learning our lingo and getting our denial fix, all the while wondering why the rest of society - and many of our children - think we live in a make-believe world of religion without reality, performance without power.
What I see as I read through this is that this is the vital key to reaching America, which is arguably the 3rd largest mission field in the world:
The church must heal - individual by individual - each person taking responsibility for his or her own life, living vitally connected to and ultimately governed by Christ Jesus, until one by one our lives are transformed into lives of victory, full of God's presence and power and abiding peace and joy. When the church is full of healthy Christians who live the lives God intended - seeking constantly to know Him better, to love Him more, and to be ever in His presence - our lives will begin to mirror Him to a nation of individuals who have been watching and waiting for a reason to believe the Bible is true and that God is Who He says He is - that we are what He says we are. That we are conquerors; we do live with peace and joy. Until our words match our lives, until our actions are backed with power and substance, we will hold no weight with the unbelievers of our nation. We will go on in a charade of religion without substance, power or purpose. We will continue in denial of all that is really lacking, completely and utterly falling short of the purpose God has intended for our lives. We will continue to sell ourselves short on the awesome life that we could experience if we would just get it and get real!
Truly, until we do this, they have every reason to question, 'What difference is He making in our lives?' What do we have to offer up as evidence of our God to a lost and desperate world but a life empty and void of peace and power? Until we get over ourselves, connect with God, and allow His ways to guide and govern every aspect of who we are, we cannot tap into all He wants to manifest in our lives, and through us, in the lives of others. Until we really connect with God, completely abandoning our lives to Him, we ourselves run the risk of falling into doubt, and questioning the reality and relevancy of the very God we so love to profess.
Until we become vitally connected to Christ, as individuals within the church, the church as a whole will continue its cycle of internal illness and will continue to be wholly ineffective at reaching out to, ministering to, and impacting the lives of the unbelieving men and women who are standing right outside the church - just on the other side of the walls that hold us in.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Few and far between
It seems my blog posts here are getting fewer and farther between as time goes on. This is NOT intentional. I've been wanting to post for weeks. The problem when you have a brain that works the way mine works...if I don't sit down and post it right away, after a while I just sort of move on. Sad, isn't it? Welcome into the head of a slightly-adult-ADD girl like me! So now I have a journal full of things that I've not shared, and they feel 'old' to me now. (Another side effect of having a quirky mind like mine...I internalize things quickly and get bored easily. So after I've thought it through and processed it, I just sort of move on???)
Anyway, I have had a very busy few weeks, and I've been living life very last-minute...getting somewhere just as it starts, or maybe a few minutes late; getting things done in the last possible moment; jumping from one task to the next to the next without having time to pause or get ahead. Today seems to be shaping up in much the same way already, since I have way more to do today than hours in the day. So I say a prayer for God's grace to rest on me, so that I can work efficiently and with ease.
Not surprisingly, God has, in the last few days, brought some correction to me in this aspect of my life. It is not the best way to go about life, being always rushed, doing the bare minimum. God's plan for us is to live lives of excellence, and to enjoy the life we are living (not watch it go by in a blur!). Anyhow, His correction came through a story in the Bible that I have known since childhood - the story of Martha & Mary.
Luke 10:38-42 - Now while they were on their way, it occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord's feet and was listening to His teaching. But Martha, overly occupied and too busy, was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me! But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; There is need of only one or but few things. Mary has chosen the good portion that which is to her advantage, which shall not be taken away from her.
Martha was not doing wrong - she was serving the Lord. The problem was that she was too busy serving to take time to enjoy what she was doing. Why was she so busy? Probably the same reason I get busy - because I fail to adequately prepare ahead of time, and my chores ends up invading the time I should be enjoying. Poor time management. Doesn't sound super spiritual, but it can be the difference between enjoying life or rushing through it, having time to enjoy those around me or feeling to busy to give them my attention, receiving from the Lord or missing what He has for me.
As I go through the day today, with so much to do to get ready for weekend guests, I want to keep this story at the forefront of my mind. It is good to serve, but it is not the most important thing. There is need of only one or a few things, and I want to focus on that. Lord help me get this.
Anyway, I have had a very busy few weeks, and I've been living life very last-minute...getting somewhere just as it starts, or maybe a few minutes late; getting things done in the last possible moment; jumping from one task to the next to the next without having time to pause or get ahead. Today seems to be shaping up in much the same way already, since I have way more to do today than hours in the day. So I say a prayer for God's grace to rest on me, so that I can work efficiently and with ease.
Not surprisingly, God has, in the last few days, brought some correction to me in this aspect of my life. It is not the best way to go about life, being always rushed, doing the bare minimum. God's plan for us is to live lives of excellence, and to enjoy the life we are living (not watch it go by in a blur!). Anyhow, His correction came through a story in the Bible that I have known since childhood - the story of Martha & Mary.
Luke 10:38-42 - Now while they were on their way, it occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord's feet and was listening to His teaching. But Martha, overly occupied and too busy, was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me! But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; There is need of only one or but few things. Mary has chosen the good portion that which is to her advantage, which shall not be taken away from her.
Martha was not doing wrong - she was serving the Lord. The problem was that she was too busy serving to take time to enjoy what she was doing. Why was she so busy? Probably the same reason I get busy - because I fail to adequately prepare ahead of time, and my chores ends up invading the time I should be enjoying. Poor time management. Doesn't sound super spiritual, but it can be the difference between enjoying life or rushing through it, having time to enjoy those around me or feeling to busy to give them my attention, receiving from the Lord or missing what He has for me.
As I go through the day today, with so much to do to get ready for weekend guests, I want to keep this story at the forefront of my mind. It is good to serve, but it is not the most important thing. There is need of only one or a few things, and I want to focus on that. Lord help me get this.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Cure for Unbelief
"Unbelief is stifling the flow of God's presence and power in our church today." (Quote taken from previous post)
We are hesitant - afraid - to really put ourselves out there and truly believe. We fear disappointment. Worse, if we're gut-level honest, at times we fear that nothing at all will happen, which might poke holes in our decision to believe in God. We're afraid if nothing happens, we will have to justify our belief in God, and maybe we're not sure we can do that. The possibility of believing and not receiving 'results' brings us face to face with our now-wavering faith and the ugly question that lurks somewhere below the surface...'What if God's not real? What if He's not Who He says He is?'
We must recognize that unbelief leads to unbelief. If God cannot, or will not, act in our circumstances when there is unbelief, yet we are afraid to believe because we fear He will not act, then we spin ourselves into a circle of dormant, inactive, ineffective faith, at the core of which lies a seed of doubt with regards to the very existence and/or sovereignty and ability of God Himself.
The remedy for this must be a sweeping epidemic of personal intimacy with the Creator of the universe. It may seem a stretch to seek intimacy with someone whose existence we are, for the moment, unsure of, but it must be if we are to correct the shift of unbelief that is weighing down the Body of Christ. When we know someone personally, it becomes quite difficult to doubt their very existence. The same holds true with knowing God.
As we seek Him, with the determined purpose of knowing the TRUTH, of knowing Him, He will make Himself known. But before any of this can begin to take place, a decision must be made. We must set our minds and keep them set. Regardless of our feelings, we must, in our hearts, rely on the fundamental assumption that God IS and that His Word is true. Not that we believe without reason, but rather we choose to persevere and press on in times of trial, giving God the benefit of the doubt for the time being, and allowing Him the necessary time to do a work in us and for us, that He would be given the opportunity to reveal Himself and make Himself known.
I have walked through this in my own life, facing some monumental, and seemingly insurmountable struggles in my faith. I've faced questions for which I had no answers. I've battled with severe, almost suffocating doubt. I've struggled to pray - to even force myself to say the words because they seemed so absurd. I believe that one factor made the difference in the outcome of my struggles. At the outset, I had determined that I would give God a chance to be known. For the time being, I clung to the foundations that His Word is true. I stayed in His Word, and time and time again, I found answers to the questions; I found peace to quiet the doubt. I found strength to pray when I had no words.
I find myself now on the other side of these struggles, and in the most incredible place. Time and time again, God not only saw me through my trials, but He used them to develop me and help me grow. He revealed His truths, His nature, and His character to me through His Word and through time in prayer. I began to see the evidence of His presence in my life. I began to recognize the sound of His voice, the promptings of His Holy Spirit. I began to know Him, and I began to fall in love with Him - desperately, madly, crazy in love like I never could have imagined. And the more I know Him and love Him, the more my eyes are opened to see more of Him. And the more I see and experience Him, the less room there is for doubt; the greater my courage becomes. I am much more willing now that I was even a year ago to make myself vulnerable in the hands of the Lord, because now that I know Him, my belief in Him is rooted in what I know - what I know from my own personal experiences. My experiences with God have given me more than enough reason to believe in Him, to believe that He is , that He is sovereign, that He is good, that He loves me, and that He is wholly capable.
Knowing Him is the cure for unbelief.
We are hesitant - afraid - to really put ourselves out there and truly believe. We fear disappointment. Worse, if we're gut-level honest, at times we fear that nothing at all will happen, which might poke holes in our decision to believe in God. We're afraid if nothing happens, we will have to justify our belief in God, and maybe we're not sure we can do that. The possibility of believing and not receiving 'results' brings us face to face with our now-wavering faith and the ugly question that lurks somewhere below the surface...'What if God's not real? What if He's not Who He says He is?'
We must recognize that unbelief leads to unbelief. If God cannot, or will not, act in our circumstances when there is unbelief, yet we are afraid to believe because we fear He will not act, then we spin ourselves into a circle of dormant, inactive, ineffective faith, at the core of which lies a seed of doubt with regards to the very existence and/or sovereignty and ability of God Himself.
The remedy for this must be a sweeping epidemic of personal intimacy with the Creator of the universe. It may seem a stretch to seek intimacy with someone whose existence we are, for the moment, unsure of, but it must be if we are to correct the shift of unbelief that is weighing down the Body of Christ. When we know someone personally, it becomes quite difficult to doubt their very existence. The same holds true with knowing God.
As we seek Him, with the determined purpose of knowing the TRUTH, of knowing Him, He will make Himself known. But before any of this can begin to take place, a decision must be made. We must set our minds and keep them set. Regardless of our feelings, we must, in our hearts, rely on the fundamental assumption that God IS and that His Word is true. Not that we believe without reason, but rather we choose to persevere and press on in times of trial, giving God the benefit of the doubt for the time being, and allowing Him the necessary time to do a work in us and for us, that He would be given the opportunity to reveal Himself and make Himself known.
I have walked through this in my own life, facing some monumental, and seemingly insurmountable struggles in my faith. I've faced questions for which I had no answers. I've battled with severe, almost suffocating doubt. I've struggled to pray - to even force myself to say the words because they seemed so absurd. I believe that one factor made the difference in the outcome of my struggles. At the outset, I had determined that I would give God a chance to be known. For the time being, I clung to the foundations that His Word is true. I stayed in His Word, and time and time again, I found answers to the questions; I found peace to quiet the doubt. I found strength to pray when I had no words.
I find myself now on the other side of these struggles, and in the most incredible place. Time and time again, God not only saw me through my trials, but He used them to develop me and help me grow. He revealed His truths, His nature, and His character to me through His Word and through time in prayer. I began to see the evidence of His presence in my life. I began to recognize the sound of His voice, the promptings of His Holy Spirit. I began to know Him, and I began to fall in love with Him - desperately, madly, crazy in love like I never could have imagined. And the more I know Him and love Him, the more my eyes are opened to see more of Him. And the more I see and experience Him, the less room there is for doubt; the greater my courage becomes. I am much more willing now that I was even a year ago to make myself vulnerable in the hands of the Lord, because now that I know Him, my belief in Him is rooted in what I know - what I know from my own personal experiences. My experiences with God have given me more than enough reason to believe in Him, to believe that He is , that He is sovereign, that He is good, that He loves me, and that He is wholly capable.
Knowing Him is the cure for unbelief.
Does Faith Really Work?
NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. (Hebrews 11:1, AMP)
There is some strong language in this verse. Assurance. Confirmation. Proof. Conviction. Reality. Fact. This verse is, more or less, defining faith the way God sees it and the way He has designed it to work. By definition, faith is all or nothing. It is total and complete. It leaves no room for doubting and wavering and hesitating. It is assurance. It is confirmation. It is proof. It is having conviction that something is reality, and perceiving in the spirit a fact before it can bee seen in the natural. Faith is certainty.
What if it's wrong? What if I'm certain of something that doesn't happen? What if I pray for my child to be healed, and she keeps coughing? What if I believe for someone to recover, but instead they pass away? Does faith really work?
When I was young, my mom and I took a lot of trips to West Virginia. Her parents lived there, and we would go a few times a year to visit. West Virginia is a beautiful state with the most amazing mountain landscape. I remember on one particular trip to my grandparents' house, I was looking out the back window of our car as we were waiving our goodbye's and heading home. I had recently learned a new verse in Sunday School that says, If you have faith and you believe, you can tell a mountain to move, and it will be moved (Matthew 17:20). So, I looked out the back window, and with all the faith in me, I prayed that the mountain I was looking at would be moved, just so I could see that this worked. I waited. I watched out the window until the road had wound around and the mountain was out of sight. The mountain never budged. Not even a little. I was at a loss to understand why it hadn't worked. I mean, I really believed the Bible. I really believed that what it says is true. And I had full faith that my mountain was going to crumble at any moment.
I think this was one of my first experiences of exercising my faith and feeling disappointed at the result. Since then I've had countless experiences of praying for something, believing for something, and seeing no obvious results. And every time, I was left with a hint of a doubt to preface my next prayer. It seems that, over time, every prayer for healing or prayer for God to work in a situation became clouded with a shadow of a doubt that whispers, 'This isn't going to work anyway.' Why? If faith really works, why didn't my mountain crumble? Why do people suffer? Why does anyone go unhealed?
Can I tell you a true story? About a month ago, I was driving down my road, on my way home from the grocery, and a fleeting glimpse of my childhood attempt to bring down the mountain flashed through my mind. Then God spoke something very simple to me. 'It was never my will to move that mountain.'
How odd. I had not been thinking about it. I had not been seeking an answer to my mountain riddle. Yet, He spoke to me directly about it. Plain and clear. Obviously, He has a few things He wants to teach me about faith and how it operates. That was the first thing that He made clear to me. My prayer must be in line with His will for it to be effective.
Now let me show you a second thing God showed me shortly after this 'mountain revelation' (LOL). Quite a while ago I bought a book called 'The Spirit of Faith' by Mark Hankins. I got about half way through it, but got distracted by something else and never finished reading it. One day, though, I sat down in my bedroom floor, and of all things, I picked up this book and started flipping through it. I came across something that made me stop and give a lot of thought to the impact of my faith on the outcome of what I am believing for. The following is taken directly from the book I just mentioned:
The second thing God has lead me to understand: Our own unbelief limits what God can do in our circumstances.
There's one more thing I want to share with you before I finish. This afternoon, as I read back through the verse in Hebrews that I shared at the beginning, even today my response was, 'What if it doesn't work?' (Clearly I've still got some work to do in this area). But what God put on my heart in response was so simple, yet so powerful. 'If it doesn't work, believe it again.' If I don't see results today, believe I will see them tomorrow. If I don't see results tomorrow, believe I will see them the day after. I will never see what I am unwilling to believe for - believing with complete certainty, as Hebrews describes. Faith is ongoing, and must outlast the circumstances. I would rather die in belief, never having received what I was believing for, than to never receive what I had hoped for because I would not believe.
Sometimes it does seem like our prayers aren't accomplishing anything. It feels like our faith is pointless, like it just doesn't work. Still, I've seen so many instances where the complete opposite has proven to be true. I've seen amazing answers to prayers that I've prayed. I've seen God work wonders in situations and circumstances that seemed impenetrable. Because I've seen God work, I KNOW my prayers are heard. I know that faith works. But faith does not leave room for doubt. When we doubt, we tie God's hands, and keep Him from being able to work miracles on our behalf. Further, our faith must line up with God's word and God's will. It is important that we take time to seek Him and sit in His presence, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our prayers. That is when we are certain to pray according to the will of God. When I have prayed, in full faith, and in accordance with God's word and His will, I must continue to believe and wait on God, expecting to see an answer to my prayer at the exact moment, in God's perfect timing.
We are not often capable of understanding His plan, and we do not have the capacity to look ahead to see how circumstances will all work together for the good of His plan. We do, however, have the capacity to seek Him, to know Him and to trust Him, believing in full faith that He is a good God, that He alone is sovereign, and that He is capable of doing all things.
Jesus said to him, You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on. (John 17:3)
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait and hope for and expect the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)
There is some strong language in this verse. Assurance. Confirmation. Proof. Conviction. Reality. Fact. This verse is, more or less, defining faith the way God sees it and the way He has designed it to work. By definition, faith is all or nothing. It is total and complete. It leaves no room for doubting and wavering and hesitating. It is assurance. It is confirmation. It is proof. It is having conviction that something is reality, and perceiving in the spirit a fact before it can bee seen in the natural. Faith is certainty.
What if it's wrong? What if I'm certain of something that doesn't happen? What if I pray for my child to be healed, and she keeps coughing? What if I believe for someone to recover, but instead they pass away? Does faith really work?
When I was young, my mom and I took a lot of trips to West Virginia. Her parents lived there, and we would go a few times a year to visit. West Virginia is a beautiful state with the most amazing mountain landscape. I remember on one particular trip to my grandparents' house, I was looking out the back window of our car as we were waiving our goodbye's and heading home. I had recently learned a new verse in Sunday School that says, If you have faith and you believe, you can tell a mountain to move, and it will be moved (Matthew 17:20). So, I looked out the back window, and with all the faith in me, I prayed that the mountain I was looking at would be moved, just so I could see that this worked. I waited. I watched out the window until the road had wound around and the mountain was out of sight. The mountain never budged. Not even a little. I was at a loss to understand why it hadn't worked. I mean, I really believed the Bible. I really believed that what it says is true. And I had full faith that my mountain was going to crumble at any moment.
I think this was one of my first experiences of exercising my faith and feeling disappointed at the result. Since then I've had countless experiences of praying for something, believing for something, and seeing no obvious results. And every time, I was left with a hint of a doubt to preface my next prayer. It seems that, over time, every prayer for healing or prayer for God to work in a situation became clouded with a shadow of a doubt that whispers, 'This isn't going to work anyway.' Why? If faith really works, why didn't my mountain crumble? Why do people suffer? Why does anyone go unhealed?
Can I tell you a true story? About a month ago, I was driving down my road, on my way home from the grocery, and a fleeting glimpse of my childhood attempt to bring down the mountain flashed through my mind. Then God spoke something very simple to me. 'It was never my will to move that mountain.'
How odd. I had not been thinking about it. I had not been seeking an answer to my mountain riddle. Yet, He spoke to me directly about it. Plain and clear. Obviously, He has a few things He wants to teach me about faith and how it operates. That was the first thing that He made clear to me. My prayer must be in line with His will for it to be effective.
Now let me show you a second thing God showed me shortly after this 'mountain revelation' (LOL). Quite a while ago I bought a book called 'The Spirit of Faith' by Mark Hankins. I got about half way through it, but got distracted by something else and never finished reading it. One day, though, I sat down in my bedroom floor, and of all things, I picked up this book and started flipping through it. I came across something that made me stop and give a lot of thought to the impact of my faith on the outcome of what I am believing for. The following is taken directly from the book I just mentioned:
People often say, 'It's up to God. If God wants to do it, God can do anything. He is a sovereign God.' Apparently, Jesus didn't know that. If God can do anything anytime He wants to, why didn't Jesus do it right there in His own hometown?
Mark 6:5-6 - And He was not able to do even one work of power there, except that He laid His hands on a few sickly people and cured them. And He marveled because of the unbelief (their lack of faith in Him). And He went about...and continued teaching.
Unbelief is stifling the flow of God's presence and power in our church today.
The second thing God has lead me to understand: Our own unbelief limits what God can do in our circumstances.
There's one more thing I want to share with you before I finish. This afternoon, as I read back through the verse in Hebrews that I shared at the beginning, even today my response was, 'What if it doesn't work?' (Clearly I've still got some work to do in this area). But what God put on my heart in response was so simple, yet so powerful. 'If it doesn't work, believe it again.' If I don't see results today, believe I will see them tomorrow. If I don't see results tomorrow, believe I will see them the day after. I will never see what I am unwilling to believe for - believing with complete certainty, as Hebrews describes. Faith is ongoing, and must outlast the circumstances. I would rather die in belief, never having received what I was believing for, than to never receive what I had hoped for because I would not believe.
Sometimes it does seem like our prayers aren't accomplishing anything. It feels like our faith is pointless, like it just doesn't work. Still, I've seen so many instances where the complete opposite has proven to be true. I've seen amazing answers to prayers that I've prayed. I've seen God work wonders in situations and circumstances that seemed impenetrable. Because I've seen God work, I KNOW my prayers are heard. I know that faith works. But faith does not leave room for doubt. When we doubt, we tie God's hands, and keep Him from being able to work miracles on our behalf. Further, our faith must line up with God's word and God's will. It is important that we take time to seek Him and sit in His presence, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our prayers. That is when we are certain to pray according to the will of God. When I have prayed, in full faith, and in accordance with God's word and His will, I must continue to believe and wait on God, expecting to see an answer to my prayer at the exact moment, in God's perfect timing.
We are not often capable of understanding His plan, and we do not have the capacity to look ahead to see how circumstances will all work together for the good of His plan. We do, however, have the capacity to seek Him, to know Him and to trust Him, believing in full faith that He is a good God, that He alone is sovereign, and that He is capable of doing all things.
Jesus said to him, You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later on. (John 17:3)
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait and hope for and expect the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Teach them to seek Me.
I had the privilege of teaching the 5th & 6th graders this past Wednesday night, and it was quite an awesome experience. God was all over it, which is so amazing to me - that he could use someone like me to reach into the lives others...incredible!
Last week we had talked about worship and prayer time. My friend had done a pretty incredible demonstration of what her time is like in her prayer closet, just worshiping and praying and praising God. It was pretty powerful, and it was clear that many of the kids had been impacted by what they had seen. So, she thought that a good follow up to that would be to talk about the kind of music they listen to.
But God had a different idea. Last Monday I was in prayer, just going on about all the stuff I wanted to talk about, when He broke into my ramblings and spoke something very clearly to my heart. My pen and journal were right there, so I grabbed them and started writing. This is some of what He said:
Teach them to seek Me. Without knowing Me, they cannot love Me. If they do not love Me, surely they will not cling to Me; they will turn away from Me, and many, once they've turned away, will not turn back. Break the idea that a relationship with Me is for sometime later in life. Now I AM. Now I am here. Now I love them. Now I am waiting.
I was overwhelmed! A lot of times when I feel God speaking to me, it's through His word or through discernment of circumstances, situations, emotions, etc. He gives me ideas or guidance, but often it comes in much smaller installments. But sometimes it seems He will just open the floodgates and let loose- or maybe He's wanting to do that all the time, and I'm just not listening? Anyway, this was definitely one of those times. As I listened to Him, and as I wrote what He was saying, I was just trying to keep up. He even gave me Scripture references, which was very cool - and I discovered that a few of them were more for my own sake than for anyone I would be talking to.
He said, Tell them that what I want from them is a relationship. Show them the heart of a worshiper - show them David. Then tell them your own story. Tell them that it's okay to ask Me for help.
How cool is that!? How amazing to get a glimpse of His heart for these children - kids that I see every week. How awe-inspiring to see how much He longs for them to love Him, He desires to show Himself to them. When I think about it, even now, I'm completely moved by His love and His tenderness toward them - these kids who may never have known even a moment of tenderness, or even an instance of pure love. These are kids who are, in many cases, really troubled, living in awful family situations, getting little or no positive attention, or any attention at all, from their parents. These are kids who many adults have already written off as problem kids who will go nowhere and be nothing. And to see that God has not for an instant written them off! Oh, how I love Him! It gave me a fresh perspective on reaching out to these kids and being a consistent source of love and support in their lives.
The teaching went really well. It flowed smoothly. I spoke with ease. It was a blessed evening, for sure. But the greatest thing about the whole night was a conversation I had with one girl at the end of the evening. She's one of the 'worst of the worst' when it comes to tough cases. She has always carried an attitude, and put up walls, been a little resistant and defiant. At one point, one of our leaders had even suggested telling her she couldn't come anymore because she was so disruptive. But attitude or not, she still comes regularly. And whether she likes it or not, she's still sitting under the Word of God for 20 minutes a week. It's not a lot, but it's plenty for Him to work with.
Well, while we were all hanging out, having pizza and pop, she came over and sat down next to me. She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Rebecca, I'm afraid to die.' She didn't hesitate. She didn't waiver. I could see in her eyes she was plain freaked out by the thought of it. I could tell to that it was a good kind of afraid. God had definitely gotten a hold of her heart that night, and she didn't know what to do with it. We talked about it, and she told me she was afraid of what will happen to her when she dies. She's not yet to the place that she is ready to make the commitment to God, but it's awesome to see Him working in her heart! And it's awesome that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
I'll keep praying for her, and for all of our kids, and I'll continue to rely on the promise of God's Word that His Word will not return void, but that it will accomplish all that it was sent forth to accomplish. That's a sweet promise and a great hope for these kids! I pray that they will open themselves up to Him and take the time to get to know Him!
Last week we had talked about worship and prayer time. My friend had done a pretty incredible demonstration of what her time is like in her prayer closet, just worshiping and praying and praising God. It was pretty powerful, and it was clear that many of the kids had been impacted by what they had seen. So, she thought that a good follow up to that would be to talk about the kind of music they listen to.
But God had a different idea. Last Monday I was in prayer, just going on about all the stuff I wanted to talk about, when He broke into my ramblings and spoke something very clearly to my heart. My pen and journal were right there, so I grabbed them and started writing. This is some of what He said:
Teach them to seek Me. Without knowing Me, they cannot love Me. If they do not love Me, surely they will not cling to Me; they will turn away from Me, and many, once they've turned away, will not turn back. Break the idea that a relationship with Me is for sometime later in life. Now I AM. Now I am here. Now I love them. Now I am waiting.
I was overwhelmed! A lot of times when I feel God speaking to me, it's through His word or through discernment of circumstances, situations, emotions, etc. He gives me ideas or guidance, but often it comes in much smaller installments. But sometimes it seems He will just open the floodgates and let loose- or maybe He's wanting to do that all the time, and I'm just not listening? Anyway, this was definitely one of those times. As I listened to Him, and as I wrote what He was saying, I was just trying to keep up. He even gave me Scripture references, which was very cool - and I discovered that a few of them were more for my own sake than for anyone I would be talking to.
He said, Tell them that what I want from them is a relationship. Show them the heart of a worshiper - show them David. Then tell them your own story. Tell them that it's okay to ask Me for help.
How cool is that!? How amazing to get a glimpse of His heart for these children - kids that I see every week. How awe-inspiring to see how much He longs for them to love Him, He desires to show Himself to them. When I think about it, even now, I'm completely moved by His love and His tenderness toward them - these kids who may never have known even a moment of tenderness, or even an instance of pure love. These are kids who are, in many cases, really troubled, living in awful family situations, getting little or no positive attention, or any attention at all, from their parents. These are kids who many adults have already written off as problem kids who will go nowhere and be nothing. And to see that God has not for an instant written them off! Oh, how I love Him! It gave me a fresh perspective on reaching out to these kids and being a consistent source of love and support in their lives.
The teaching went really well. It flowed smoothly. I spoke with ease. It was a blessed evening, for sure. But the greatest thing about the whole night was a conversation I had with one girl at the end of the evening. She's one of the 'worst of the worst' when it comes to tough cases. She has always carried an attitude, and put up walls, been a little resistant and defiant. At one point, one of our leaders had even suggested telling her she couldn't come anymore because she was so disruptive. But attitude or not, she still comes regularly. And whether she likes it or not, she's still sitting under the Word of God for 20 minutes a week. It's not a lot, but it's plenty for Him to work with.
Well, while we were all hanging out, having pizza and pop, she came over and sat down next to me. She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Rebecca, I'm afraid to die.' She didn't hesitate. She didn't waiver. I could see in her eyes she was plain freaked out by the thought of it. I could tell to that it was a good kind of afraid. God had definitely gotten a hold of her heart that night, and she didn't know what to do with it. We talked about it, and she told me she was afraid of what will happen to her when she dies. She's not yet to the place that she is ready to make the commitment to God, but it's awesome to see Him working in her heart! And it's awesome that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
I'll keep praying for her, and for all of our kids, and I'll continue to rely on the promise of God's Word that His Word will not return void, but that it will accomplish all that it was sent forth to accomplish. That's a sweet promise and a great hope for these kids! I pray that they will open themselves up to Him and take the time to get to know Him!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Of the House of Israel
Jesus sent out these twelve, charging them, Go nowhere among the Gentiles and do not go into any town of the Samaritans; But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. (Matthew 10:5-6)
It is interesting to me that, the moment when Jesus first grants His power and authority to His disciples, he does not send them out to those who would be considered 'lost,' but rather, He sends them into the midst of God's own people - 'the lost sheep of the house of Israel.' They were sent to preach the kingdom of heaven, to cure the sick, to raise the dead, to cleanse the diseased, and to drive out demons from among God's own people. I can't help but question, WHY would this be His first assignment for them? Why would He have them use the full extent of the power of God to address those who already know about Him when He Himself said He came to reach the lost - that all would come to know Him and that none would perish?
Because the same was true then that is true now - there are 'lost sheep' in the house of God. Probably then, just as now, most did not even know they were lost. They knew of Him, but did not recognize a difference between knowing of Him and knowing Him. There were individuals among God's people who struggled with the truth of the kingdom of heaven; who battled illness that was contrary to God's perfect plan for their lives; and who were tormented by demons that contaminated their hearts and minds, keeping them from a pure and full relationship with God.
What was true then is true now. The body of Christ (the church) must be healed and made healthy and whole; it must be brought back to life; it must be consecrated wholly to the God, clean and uncontaminated, in order for it to function properly. When the church is healthy, it will be a powerful, unstoppable force for reaching the lost, which is the purpose of the church - You shall be My witnesses...to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8)
We cannot reach out to those who do not know God and invite them to enter into an unhealthy, dead, sickly, and muddled, ambiguous church. If the body is not as it is intended to be, if it is not alive and vibrant and healthy, completely in love with Jesus, serving only Him, with no other motive than to glorify Him, then what we are presenting is a church that looks one way on the surface and is something altogether different at the core. It will not take long for someone on the outside looking in, or someone who has just stepped in for the first time, to see through what lies on the surface. And why would they want that? What on earth would make them stay? We cannot offer a mirage of the truth when the truth is so much better!
The spirit of a person knows and recognizes the truth of God long before the mind begins to understand it. When someone is drawn to Jesus, it is because his or her spirit has recognized the truth and longs for it. When their experience 'in the church' is perceived to be something different than that truth they first recognized, a door is opened wide to make way for confusion, doubt, dissatisfaction, and even disgust and resentment to enter in.
It is critical that the observable - the perceivable, physical experience - genuinely reflects the truth of the Spirit. This can only happen if the church is healthy and is operating in God's design and purpose for His body. It must be made up of individuals who are healthy and whole, abiding in Him and vitally connected to Him, passionately in love with Him and living to please Him because of their love for Him. When this is the condition of God's people, our lives will speak volumes to the truth of Jesus, and all that He is, and all that He is offering and has already made available. Oh, how I wish we would live lives that reflect Him like this! Consistently live lives that testify to God's love and faithfulness! That is God's desire for us as individuals, and it is His design for His church as a whole.
It is interesting to me that, the moment when Jesus first grants His power and authority to His disciples, he does not send them out to those who would be considered 'lost,' but rather, He sends them into the midst of God's own people - 'the lost sheep of the house of Israel.' They were sent to preach the kingdom of heaven, to cure the sick, to raise the dead, to cleanse the diseased, and to drive out demons from among God's own people. I can't help but question, WHY would this be His first assignment for them? Why would He have them use the full extent of the power of God to address those who already know about Him when He Himself said He came to reach the lost - that all would come to know Him and that none would perish?
Because the same was true then that is true now - there are 'lost sheep' in the house of God. Probably then, just as now, most did not even know they were lost. They knew of Him, but did not recognize a difference between knowing of Him and knowing Him. There were individuals among God's people who struggled with the truth of the kingdom of heaven; who battled illness that was contrary to God's perfect plan for their lives; and who were tormented by demons that contaminated their hearts and minds, keeping them from a pure and full relationship with God.
What was true then is true now. The body of Christ (the church) must be healed and made healthy and whole; it must be brought back to life; it must be consecrated wholly to the God, clean and uncontaminated, in order for it to function properly. When the church is healthy, it will be a powerful, unstoppable force for reaching the lost, which is the purpose of the church - You shall be My witnesses...to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8)
We cannot reach out to those who do not know God and invite them to enter into an unhealthy, dead, sickly, and muddled, ambiguous church. If the body is not as it is intended to be, if it is not alive and vibrant and healthy, completely in love with Jesus, serving only Him, with no other motive than to glorify Him, then what we are presenting is a church that looks one way on the surface and is something altogether different at the core. It will not take long for someone on the outside looking in, or someone who has just stepped in for the first time, to see through what lies on the surface. And why would they want that? What on earth would make them stay? We cannot offer a mirage of the truth when the truth is so much better!
The spirit of a person knows and recognizes the truth of God long before the mind begins to understand it. When someone is drawn to Jesus, it is because his or her spirit has recognized the truth and longs for it. When their experience 'in the church' is perceived to be something different than that truth they first recognized, a door is opened wide to make way for confusion, doubt, dissatisfaction, and even disgust and resentment to enter in.
It is critical that the observable - the perceivable, physical experience - genuinely reflects the truth of the Spirit. This can only happen if the church is healthy and is operating in God's design and purpose for His body. It must be made up of individuals who are healthy and whole, abiding in Him and vitally connected to Him, passionately in love with Him and living to please Him because of their love for Him. When this is the condition of God's people, our lives will speak volumes to the truth of Jesus, and all that He is, and all that He is offering and has already made available. Oh, how I wish we would live lives that reflect Him like this! Consistently live lives that testify to God's love and faithfulness! That is God's desire for us as individuals, and it is His design for His church as a whole.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The shape of purpose
For over two years at least, a passion has been growing somewhere deep inside me. It has begun to shape my own relationship with Jesus in ways I had never previously experienced, driving me to seek Him, spend time with Him, get to know Him more. These experiences have been incredible, and I have found so much peace, I can't even describe it. But I am often left with a holy dissatisfaction...a feeling that there's more than my own experience with God - that it's meant to go beyond me. Somehow, it's not enough for me to know God and love God if I don't live my life as a testament to all that He is. If He, through me, cannot reach out and impact the lives of others for His awesome plan and purpose, then my life is not being lived to its fullest potential - it's true purpose. I know, because His Word says so, that He has a specific purpose for my life, as He does with everyone's. In the last week, I have experienced some awesome things with God, and I can sense my purpose begin to align with the passion in me, beginning to take shape. I still don't really know what it will look like, but I know that there are various stages to what I am intended to walk out, starting with my own personal relationship with Him.
One week ago today, in my prayer time, my train of thought was interrupted by a simple statement, 'understand the power of submission.' I thought I had made it up or misunderstood or something, but a moment later I heard it again. 'There is power in submission that you need to understand'.
And within a few hours, I came across a writing (by Beth Moore) that gave clarity to that very statement. My purpose, my call from God, is not to be an administrator, or a speaker, or a teacher, or a whatever else. The call on my life is not task-driven. It is not centered around what I do that others can see and recognize. My main call in living this life is simply this: to surrender to Him. Simply surrender and do whatever He asks of me, whether it is to teach a class of 50 students or care for one child in the nursery. My calling is to be abandoned to Him, trusting Him to shape my life for the purpose He has for me.
One week ago today, in my prayer time, my train of thought was interrupted by a simple statement, 'understand the power of submission.' I thought I had made it up or misunderstood or something, but a moment later I heard it again. 'There is power in submission that you need to understand'.
And within a few hours, I came across a writing (by Beth Moore) that gave clarity to that very statement. My purpose, my call from God, is not to be an administrator, or a speaker, or a teacher, or a whatever else. The call on my life is not task-driven. It is not centered around what I do that others can see and recognize. My main call in living this life is simply this: to surrender to Him. Simply surrender and do whatever He asks of me, whether it is to teach a class of 50 students or care for one child in the nursery. My calling is to be abandoned to Him, trusting Him to shape my life for the purpose He has for me.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Authority
I love it when I begin to get a revelation of the truth of things I know in my head. A few weeks ago as I was studying, I read something that brought on one of those kinds of moments. What I was reading was actually on a completely different topic, but for some reason, it was like a crack opened in my understanding of God's authority. I caught just a glimpse of a piece of the whole truth, and not wanting to lose it, I grabbed my journal and started writing. Basically as I finished writing, I ran out of quiet time to read or study any further. I put my journal aside, and went on about my day.
Later that night, I was drawn back to what I had written earlier. As I prayed about what it was that God was trying to show me, piece after piece of the bigger picture began to fall into place. It was nothing I didn't know in my head, but to have a realization of the truth of it in the depths of my spirit was awesome.
I was given just a small glimpse of His true authority -
Later that night, I was drawn back to what I had written earlier. As I prayed about what it was that God was trying to show me, piece after piece of the bigger picture began to fall into place. It was nothing I didn't know in my head, but to have a realization of the truth of it in the depths of my spirit was awesome.
I was given just a small glimpse of His true authority -
- to forgive
- to redeem
- to restore
- to heal
- to offer eternal life
- to break down strongholds
- to cast out demons
- authority over time itself
- authority over life and death
I knew as I finished praying that, if I could just get this, really internalize it and let it alter my understanding of Him, it could have a HUGE impact on my life. If I could only realize, recognize, and accept as truth His authority in every area of existence, how could I ever allow doubt to overpower my faith in Him? There would be no room for doubt - it would have to be choked out simply by the depth of my belief. That's awesome to think about!
As I look back over this list that I jotted down in my prayer time, I can't help but see that He has authority in every area that we seem to struggle with in faith. Forgiveness, for example. It's so hard to understand why He would forgive some of the things I've done or thought or said. It's so difficult to accept that He would be willing to do that when I've done nothing to deserve forgiveness. And I know I'm not alone in feeling this way - if we really accepted forgiveness, there wouldn't be so many of us trapped by our pasts, trying to do enough to earn what He is offering. We may not understand why He would so freely forgive, but He does it because He wants to and because can - He has the authority to forgive.
Just think about that in each area I wrote down - how His authority makes possible all the things that don't otherwise make sense. As I thought about it more and more, I got a desire to look up every scripture I could find that discussed His authority. What I found was incredible. Jesus did many things during His time on earth so that we would be able to understand and accept that He has authority over all those things that trouble us - to allow us a wide open door to have faith in Him and believe in Him completely. He spoke with authority. He healed to demonstrate His authority. He died and rose again for the sake of authority. There is definitely not a shortage of verses discussing His authority, but one passage in particular completely captivates me.
1 Corinthians 15:24-28 - After that comes the end (the completion), when He delivers over the kingdom to God the Father after rendering inoperative and abolishing every [other] rule and every authority and power. For [Christ] must be King and reign until He has put all [His] enemies under His feet. The last enemy to be subdued and abolished is death. For He [the Father] has put all things in subjection under His [Christ's] feet. ...However, when everything is subjected to Him, then the Son Himself will also subject Himself to [the Father] Who put all things under Him, so that God may be all in all [be everything to everyone, supreme, the indwelling and controlling factor of life].
His authority in all things is what allows Him to accomplish His purpose for all men - the way to salvation is made available; darkness is defeated; death is rendered powerless; and God the Father is glorified as the 'all in all' - the indwelling and controlling factor of life.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Feeling Withered
To say I've been struggling lately would be a mild understatement. It might be more accurate to say I have been repeatedly run over by a very large truck. I feel like every time I stand up, I get plowed over again. It could be described as walking through mud - progress is slow and exhausting, and any break for rest results in sinking and further 'stuckness.' Not a pretty picture.
I have been, for some time now, acutely aware of the fact that I cannot continue like this much longer; that I have reached the end of my proverbial rope, physically and mentally at times. Finally yesterday, I was crumpled to my knees with yet another blow - one more attack by the truck as I was struggling to my feet. What's to be done? I threw my hands up and hit my knees, desperate to get this figured out. Crying out to God to shed some light on what's going on. This is not the depiction of a person living as Christians are intended to live. There's no overriding peace and joy and patience and rest. There is exhaustion, frustration and confusion. God is not a God of confusion. He is the author of peace.
Why it took me so long to break I can't say. Why am I so bullheaded sometimes, insisting that I am strong enough and capable enough to take care of things, to not have to 'bother' God with my problems? Why would I, even for an instant, hesitate to go running straight to His arms and sit at His feet and seek Him for advice and wisdom and guidance? I know better. I was just acting dumb. Finally, finally, yesterday He got through to me. He got what He had been wanting for quite some time. I surrendered. I was brought to my knees, bawling and dumping everything out onto Him - everything that I had been unknowingly holding onto and internalizing. Once I got started, even I was surprised at some of the junk that came out. But out it came... thank God!
And in the midst of it all, I asked the one question that seemed quite obvious to me - 'What am I missing?' Am I not in the right place? Am I out of your will for me? Am I trying to force this to work for my own reasons? I examined every possible pretence I might have had in starting and continuing my current circumstances. And, just like so many times before, I felt reassured that I'm not out of place, just out of alignment.
The first thing I got was that my attention and focus have been misplaced a bit, and that my motives need to be shifted back His way. That was clear. That I get. But still, there was a fog over me, like I was still not seeing something so obvious. God, What am I missing? I just don't see it.
As I was getting out of the shower last night, (of all times - how random is that?) it hit me like a ton of bricks. And many things that have been said to me over the course of several weeks came flooding in like a big collage of thoughts. Collectively, it all points to John 15. Over and over again. John 15.
I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vine dresser. Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. Live in Me, and I will live in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a broken-off branch, and withers... (John 15: 1, 4-6)
For weeks, He has been trying to get my attention, to make me see that I have disconnected, and I have been slowly withering. I have been 'too busy,' and have tried to get by on the bare minimum. But He showed me last night, very clearly, that it is not a matter of eliminating tasks. It is a matter of re-prioritizing them. He is teaching me to be 'busy' and still keep Him first. This is something I must learn, not only learn but become solidified in, before I can move on to whatever comes next.
Lord, I hear what You are telling me - to keep my heart, my focus, my attention on You; to give You my time. To stay close to You, and not crowd You out with all that keeps me busy. To remain and abide in You. Let the reverential fear of You go before me, that I would submit my will to Yours; that I could not even consider disobeying You; that I would not sin. Let me make no other god, let me establish nothing else in higher priority than You, Lord. Let nothing else capture any part of the glory, honor, praise and worship that is rightfully Yours - that only You deserve. You alone, God, are worthy of everything I have. Let me live my life unto You, doing and giving and serving and loving unto You. Let me keep You at the center, high above all things, where You belong. You alone are God.
I have been, for some time now, acutely aware of the fact that I cannot continue like this much longer; that I have reached the end of my proverbial rope, physically and mentally at times. Finally yesterday, I was crumpled to my knees with yet another blow - one more attack by the truck as I was struggling to my feet. What's to be done? I threw my hands up and hit my knees, desperate to get this figured out. Crying out to God to shed some light on what's going on. This is not the depiction of a person living as Christians are intended to live. There's no overriding peace and joy and patience and rest. There is exhaustion, frustration and confusion. God is not a God of confusion. He is the author of peace.
Why it took me so long to break I can't say. Why am I so bullheaded sometimes, insisting that I am strong enough and capable enough to take care of things, to not have to 'bother' God with my problems? Why would I, even for an instant, hesitate to go running straight to His arms and sit at His feet and seek Him for advice and wisdom and guidance? I know better. I was just acting dumb. Finally, finally, yesterday He got through to me. He got what He had been wanting for quite some time. I surrendered. I was brought to my knees, bawling and dumping everything out onto Him - everything that I had been unknowingly holding onto and internalizing. Once I got started, even I was surprised at some of the junk that came out. But out it came... thank God!
And in the midst of it all, I asked the one question that seemed quite obvious to me - 'What am I missing?' Am I not in the right place? Am I out of your will for me? Am I trying to force this to work for my own reasons? I examined every possible pretence I might have had in starting and continuing my current circumstances. And, just like so many times before, I felt reassured that I'm not out of place, just out of alignment.
The first thing I got was that my attention and focus have been misplaced a bit, and that my motives need to be shifted back His way. That was clear. That I get. But still, there was a fog over me, like I was still not seeing something so obvious. God, What am I missing? I just don't see it.
As I was getting out of the shower last night, (of all times - how random is that?) it hit me like a ton of bricks. And many things that have been said to me over the course of several weeks came flooding in like a big collage of thoughts. Collectively, it all points to John 15. Over and over again. John 15.
I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vine dresser. Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. Live in Me, and I will live in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a broken-off branch, and withers... (John 15: 1, 4-6)
For weeks, He has been trying to get my attention, to make me see that I have disconnected, and I have been slowly withering. I have been 'too busy,' and have tried to get by on the bare minimum. But He showed me last night, very clearly, that it is not a matter of eliminating tasks. It is a matter of re-prioritizing them. He is teaching me to be 'busy' and still keep Him first. This is something I must learn, not only learn but become solidified in, before I can move on to whatever comes next.
Lord, I hear what You are telling me - to keep my heart, my focus, my attention on You; to give You my time. To stay close to You, and not crowd You out with all that keeps me busy. To remain and abide in You. Let the reverential fear of You go before me, that I would submit my will to Yours; that I could not even consider disobeying You; that I would not sin. Let me make no other god, let me establish nothing else in higher priority than You, Lord. Let nothing else capture any part of the glory, honor, praise and worship that is rightfully Yours - that only You deserve. You alone, God, are worthy of everything I have. Let me live my life unto You, doing and giving and serving and loving unto You. Let me keep You at the center, high above all things, where You belong. You alone are God.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Come Closer
Luke 4:39 - So He bent over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up at once and began to wait on them.
I've read this story more than once, especially since it appears in more than one of the gospels. Jesus goes into Simon's home; Simon's mother-in-law is sick; Jesus heals her; she get's up and goes on about her business. Simple enough. I've never really gotten much out of the story, besides that it's another documented case of Jesus healing someone miraculously. But today in my studying, it came to my attention (with a little help from Beth Moore, LOL...I've been going through this book, and it's full of thought-provoking insight into the life of Jesus.), that Jesus bent over her. Just like a mother bends over her children to care for them when they aren't feeling well. This verse gives us a portrait of Jesus being intimately engaged with this woman out of genuine love and concern for her. He could have healed her from a distance - from the doorway, across the room, with just a spoken word. He could have. But His heart led him to engage with her, one-on-one, in her personal space. She was lying in bed. He came to her side and leaned over her and healed her.
So I started thinking about Jesus in a broader scope, outside of this one verse. His healing, His protection, and His presense in our lives is done with love and intimacy. It's His nature. But He will not impose Himself on us; He will only come as close as we allow. We determine our level of intimacy with Jesus. We determine how close He may come, what roll He can play in our healing and in our lives.
I thought next of Simon-Peter's mother-in-law, and the condition of her heart toward Jesus. To be lying weak in bed and allow someone to lean over you in close proximity requires a certain heart position. She had to trust Jesus. She had to submit to His position over her, and she had to allow herself to be in a state of vulnerability. If any one of these were not true, she would not have allowed Him to take the position He took. In the same way, if we withhold any one of these things from Him, we are effectively limiting His presence in our lives.
As I thought through this in my heart, I was moved to tears by His tenderness, and by His heart. Think of how He feels about us - how much He wants to do for us. Think how his heart must break when we put up walls and impose restrictions on Him. I think just as a mother, how I would feel...to have the ability to help my child, yet have my child refuse my help - that would tear me up inside. I would feel helpless, hurt, rejected, and maybe even somewhat devalued as a mother. It's almost too much to think that Jesus might feel like that on my account. I thought about my own life, and wondered about the level of closeness I actually allow. Have I opened up my home to Him? Have I invited Him into every situation? Or have I asked Him to stand in the doorway while we eat, or while we pay the bills? Have I made room for Him in the van when we go on road trips? Or do I just expect Him to keep us safe from a distance? How much closeness and intimacy have I invited into my relationship with Jesus? I hope a lot, but I'm afraid that it might be less than I would like to believe.
As I looked back at the heart-condition of Simon's mother-in-law, I compared that to my own heart. Yes, I trust Him. Yes, I am willing to submit to Him. But maybe I'm a little hesitant on the vulnerability part. I think I'm sometimes afraid to open up and let go of stuff, afraid I might be disappointed. But I see now that, by holding back in this area, I'm actually limiting His ability to work in my life, thus setting myself up for disappointment. I realize that my heart needs to be softened toward Him; it needs to be always turned toward Him; I need to choose to be vulnerable - to let my heart be laid wide open to Him, holding nothing back. I don't want Him to have to stand five feet from me when I'm lying sick in bed. I want Him to lean over me with love and concern and heal me close-up. I want Him - I need Him - to come closer.
I've read this story more than once, especially since it appears in more than one of the gospels. Jesus goes into Simon's home; Simon's mother-in-law is sick; Jesus heals her; she get's up and goes on about her business. Simple enough. I've never really gotten much out of the story, besides that it's another documented case of Jesus healing someone miraculously. But today in my studying, it came to my attention (with a little help from Beth Moore, LOL...I've been going through this book, and it's full of thought-provoking insight into the life of Jesus.), that Jesus bent over her. Just like a mother bends over her children to care for them when they aren't feeling well. This verse gives us a portrait of Jesus being intimately engaged with this woman out of genuine love and concern for her. He could have healed her from a distance - from the doorway, across the room, with just a spoken word. He could have. But His heart led him to engage with her, one-on-one, in her personal space. She was lying in bed. He came to her side and leaned over her and healed her.
So I started thinking about Jesus in a broader scope, outside of this one verse. His healing, His protection, and His presense in our lives is done with love and intimacy. It's His nature. But He will not impose Himself on us; He will only come as close as we allow. We determine our level of intimacy with Jesus. We determine how close He may come, what roll He can play in our healing and in our lives.
I thought next of Simon-Peter's mother-in-law, and the condition of her heart toward Jesus. To be lying weak in bed and allow someone to lean over you in close proximity requires a certain heart position. She had to trust Jesus. She had to submit to His position over her, and she had to allow herself to be in a state of vulnerability. If any one of these were not true, she would not have allowed Him to take the position He took. In the same way, if we withhold any one of these things from Him, we are effectively limiting His presence in our lives.
As I thought through this in my heart, I was moved to tears by His tenderness, and by His heart. Think of how He feels about us - how much He wants to do for us. Think how his heart must break when we put up walls and impose restrictions on Him. I think just as a mother, how I would feel...to have the ability to help my child, yet have my child refuse my help - that would tear me up inside. I would feel helpless, hurt, rejected, and maybe even somewhat devalued as a mother. It's almost too much to think that Jesus might feel like that on my account. I thought about my own life, and wondered about the level of closeness I actually allow. Have I opened up my home to Him? Have I invited Him into every situation? Or have I asked Him to stand in the doorway while we eat, or while we pay the bills? Have I made room for Him in the van when we go on road trips? Or do I just expect Him to keep us safe from a distance? How much closeness and intimacy have I invited into my relationship with Jesus? I hope a lot, but I'm afraid that it might be less than I would like to believe.
As I looked back at the heart-condition of Simon's mother-in-law, I compared that to my own heart. Yes, I trust Him. Yes, I am willing to submit to Him. But maybe I'm a little hesitant on the vulnerability part. I think I'm sometimes afraid to open up and let go of stuff, afraid I might be disappointed. But I see now that, by holding back in this area, I'm actually limiting His ability to work in my life, thus setting myself up for disappointment. I realize that my heart needs to be softened toward Him; it needs to be always turned toward Him; I need to choose to be vulnerable - to let my heart be laid wide open to Him, holding nothing back. I don't want Him to have to stand five feet from me when I'm lying sick in bed. I want Him to lean over me with love and concern and heal me close-up. I want Him - I need Him - to come closer.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Psalm 107
O GIVE thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with good.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men! For He has broken the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron apart.
He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men!
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving and rehearse His deeds with shouts of joy and singing! (Psalm 107 - various verses)
Oh, that we would truly see God for all that He is! For His unfailing love that endures forever! For the redemption He has made available to us! That we would give back to Him only a fraction of all that He deserves - which is all that we are! That we would live with thankful and grateful hearts and not waste a minute of our time complaining, grumbling, being discontented and wanting what others have. That we would not disrespect Him by being ungrateful. That we would truly live lives filled with worship. What I would give to see that become reality!
I love time in prayer when I get a real glimpse of His majesty. It's overwhelming and so completely humbling. And I can't help but be filled with love - total love - and I'm left so totally in awe of Him. I love those times.
But the sad truth is, when I get up and get back to life-as-usual, what was so obvious to me not moments before, sometimes gets lost so easily. And something so silly can turn me around in circles and leave me with a murmuring, complaining attitude. Oh, if I would just walk through each moment of each day with Him before me, never losing sight of His beauty! Never forgetting how much I have to be thankful for! Not for a moment allowing myself to complain about my children, or my messy house, or my work load, or the piles of laundry; but instead turn each into an opportunity to praise Him for my beautiful family, my comfortable home, my opportunities to serve others, and plenty of clothes to choose from each morning when I get dressed.
And if I would just not lose sight of how much He has done for me and how much credit and glory and honor and praise I owe Him. If my selfishness, my arrogance, and my pride would not be given an opening to sneak back in and take a hold in my heart. If I could walk in true humility before my King, and before others, knowing that not to myself, but to Him is all true glory.
And, Oh! If the passion for worship would be so evident in my life that it becomes infectious in the lives of those around me! That I would truly worship God in every thing I do. In doing the dishes, and bathing my children, and cleaning my house, and going to the grocery. That I would take every opportunity to worship God, to include Him in every detail of every day. That my life would be wholly centered around Him, and that my love for Him would spill over and impact the lives of others!
Oh, that men would praise the Lord!
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with good.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men! For He has broken the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron apart.
He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and loving-kindness and His wonderful works to the children of men!
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving and rehearse His deeds with shouts of joy and singing! (Psalm 107 - various verses)
Oh, that we would truly see God for all that He is! For His unfailing love that endures forever! For the redemption He has made available to us! That we would give back to Him only a fraction of all that He deserves - which is all that we are! That we would live with thankful and grateful hearts and not waste a minute of our time complaining, grumbling, being discontented and wanting what others have. That we would not disrespect Him by being ungrateful. That we would truly live lives filled with worship. What I would give to see that become reality!
I love time in prayer when I get a real glimpse of His majesty. It's overwhelming and so completely humbling. And I can't help but be filled with love - total love - and I'm left so totally in awe of Him. I love those times.
But the sad truth is, when I get up and get back to life-as-usual, what was so obvious to me not moments before, sometimes gets lost so easily. And something so silly can turn me around in circles and leave me with a murmuring, complaining attitude. Oh, if I would just walk through each moment of each day with Him before me, never losing sight of His beauty! Never forgetting how much I have to be thankful for! Not for a moment allowing myself to complain about my children, or my messy house, or my work load, or the piles of laundry; but instead turn each into an opportunity to praise Him for my beautiful family, my comfortable home, my opportunities to serve others, and plenty of clothes to choose from each morning when I get dressed.
And if I would just not lose sight of how much He has done for me and how much credit and glory and honor and praise I owe Him. If my selfishness, my arrogance, and my pride would not be given an opening to sneak back in and take a hold in my heart. If I could walk in true humility before my King, and before others, knowing that not to myself, but to Him is all true glory.
And, Oh! If the passion for worship would be so evident in my life that it becomes infectious in the lives of those around me! That I would truly worship God in every thing I do. In doing the dishes, and bathing my children, and cleaning my house, and going to the grocery. That I would take every opportunity to worship God, to include Him in every detail of every day. That my life would be wholly centered around Him, and that my love for Him would spill over and impact the lives of others!
Oh, that men would praise the Lord!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Whispered Lies
I keep walking through this lesson of faith, learning to understand how faith really works, why some people are able to operate in such amazing faith while others seem to struggle so much. It seems like every time I open my Bible I learn another valuable lesson that helps me see another piece of the bigger picture. It seems like every time I pray, God is whispering encouragement and love and building me up.
But it also seems that the enemy of my soul doesn't want me to believe what I am learning. Twice in the last 2 weeks I've had very similar experiences - both while driving alone in my van; both actually in very similar locations and at similar times of day. The first time it happened, I was taken back by it. The second time it happened, I just laughed because it reminded me SO much of the first time, that it was clearly a lame second attempt, since the first one failed. Here's what happened...
I was on my way from the bank back to the church when out of the blue, a whispered thought went flooding into my mind, 'JESUS WAS JUST A PROPHET. HE'S NOT REALLY THE SON OF GOD. HE'S A FAKE.' I was so taken back by it. Where had that come from, really? It was so random, and so contrary to what I believe. Why on earth would something like that go through my mind. Then I realized it was a whispered lie that the enemy had put in my mind to steer me off course - to make me doubt what I believe and question what I've learned. As soon as I realized what was happening, I did the only thing I could think of to do - I started talking out loud, declaring the things the Bible says about Jesus. 'Jesus is the only begotten Son of God. He is the Christ, the Anointed One, the Messiah, the Savior. He is the Word of God in flesh. He has defeated the powers of darkness and sits at the right hand of God...' and on and on. By the time I got out of my van, the doubt was gone.
Well, the second time, I was also coming from the bank, and I was turning onto the same road that I had been on the first time - only I was about 5 blocks away from where it happened the first time. I was listening to a song on the radio, and I was thinking about the day when Jesus returns. All of a sudden, along comes another whispered lie: 'IF JESUS IS REALLY COMING BACK, WHY HASN'T HE COME YET? HE'S NOT COMING. HE'S A LIAR. HE'S A FRAUD.' For another second, I was taken by it, but instantly, I was reminded of the first incident. I just laughed out loud, and the only thing I said this time was, 'Nice try.' Satan is such a liar. I am so thankful that what I know in my heart is so much stronger than what may go through my mind. What I know in my heart, I know beyond a doubt, and the whispered lies of a desperate enemy cannot shake me when I listen to what my heart says.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 - For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, inasmuch as we refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)...
But it also seems that the enemy of my soul doesn't want me to believe what I am learning. Twice in the last 2 weeks I've had very similar experiences - both while driving alone in my van; both actually in very similar locations and at similar times of day. The first time it happened, I was taken back by it. The second time it happened, I just laughed because it reminded me SO much of the first time, that it was clearly a lame second attempt, since the first one failed. Here's what happened...
I was on my way from the bank back to the church when out of the blue, a whispered thought went flooding into my mind, 'JESUS WAS JUST A PROPHET. HE'S NOT REALLY THE SON OF GOD. HE'S A FAKE.' I was so taken back by it. Where had that come from, really? It was so random, and so contrary to what I believe. Why on earth would something like that go through my mind. Then I realized it was a whispered lie that the enemy had put in my mind to steer me off course - to make me doubt what I believe and question what I've learned. As soon as I realized what was happening, I did the only thing I could think of to do - I started talking out loud, declaring the things the Bible says about Jesus. 'Jesus is the only begotten Son of God. He is the Christ, the Anointed One, the Messiah, the Savior. He is the Word of God in flesh. He has defeated the powers of darkness and sits at the right hand of God...' and on and on. By the time I got out of my van, the doubt was gone.
Well, the second time, I was also coming from the bank, and I was turning onto the same road that I had been on the first time - only I was about 5 blocks away from where it happened the first time. I was listening to a song on the radio, and I was thinking about the day when Jesus returns. All of a sudden, along comes another whispered lie: 'IF JESUS IS REALLY COMING BACK, WHY HASN'T HE COME YET? HE'S NOT COMING. HE'S A LIAR. HE'S A FRAUD.' For another second, I was taken by it, but instantly, I was reminded of the first incident. I just laughed out loud, and the only thing I said this time was, 'Nice try.' Satan is such a liar. I am so thankful that what I know in my heart is so much stronger than what may go through my mind. What I know in my heart, I know beyond a doubt, and the whispered lies of a desperate enemy cannot shake me when I listen to what my heart says.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 - For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, inasmuch as we refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
O, Unbelieving Generation
About a week ago, I shared with you that I've been struggling with the faith to pray for others' healing. Today, I was led to Mark 9. This is what I read (this is from the Amplified version):
Jesus and three of His disciples had gone up to a mountain spot together and had a transforming encounter with the presence of God. On the way back down the mountain, they saw a crowd gathered near the other disciples. In the crowd was a man and his son, who was very ill.
Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a dumb spirit. And wherever it lays hold of him, it dashes him down and convulses him, and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth, and he falls into a motionless stupor and is wasting away. And I asked Your disciples to drive it out, and they were not able to do it.
And He answered them, O unbelieving generation [without any faith]! How long shall I have to do with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to Me.
So they brought the boy to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, at once it completely convulsed the boy, and he fell to the ground and kept rolling about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father, How long has he had this? And he answered, From the time he was a little boy. And it has often thrown him both into fire and into water, intending to kill him. But if You can do anything, do have pity on us and help us.
And Jesus said, You say to Me, If You can do anything? Why, all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
At once the father of the boy gave a cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! Constantly help my weakness of faith!
But when Jesus noticed that a crowd of people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, You dumb and deaf spirit, I charge you to come out of him and never go into him again.
And after giving a shriek of anguish and convulsing him terribly, it came out; and the boy lay [pale and motionless] like a corpse, so that many of them said, He is dead.
But Jesus took a strong grip of his hand and began lifting him up, and he stood.
And when He had gone indoors, His disciples asked Him privately, Why could not we drive it out? And He replied to them, This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.
Wow. That passage of scripture shed some light on my issue. For being no longer than it is, there are so many things that can be read from it, but a few things, in particular, stood out to me.
The very first thing - I can totally relate to the disciples. I can so easily see myself being one of those people who tried - gave it their best, really wanted to pray for the boy and see healing, did all they knew to do - but the boy's situation remained unchanged. In my mind as I was reading, I thought, 'That's me.'
But no sooner than I thought that thought, I read the next verse where Jesus lays into them a bit - 'O unbelieving generation without any faith!' In other words, When will you ever learn? If you could just get it through your thick skulls! Bring the boy to Me, I'll do it.' I sort of felt like I was living back at home with my mom, getting scolded because she has told me something 20, or maybe 100 times and I'm just not getting it! I'm being stubborn and bull-headed, and I'm just not listening. Those kind of talkin' to's were always out of love, always because she wanted something better for me, and maybe a bit out of frustration because she couldn't seem to get through to me. And I can tell you from my fair share of experience, they weren't pleasant to endure. Well, today, I felt the sting of getting that kind of 'talkin-to' from Jesus as I read that verse.
The next thing that occurred to me is the description of the boy's condition. If I were given that description today, I would assume it was a medical condition. Sounds like he has something physically wrong with him. But the father, and Jesus, both addressed the boy's problem as a spiritual condition. Then the verse in 2 Corinthians popped into my head, 'from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view' (2 Cor. 5:16). We need to learn to look beyond the physical and regard every person in the spiritual. So, does that mean cancer can be viewed as a spiritual condition? Diabetes? MS? All of our diseases that we're not born with but that come on us at some point during life? We treat them in the physical, but should we really be regarding them in the spiritual? This definitely calls for a different perspective in praying for someones 'physical' healing.
When the father pleads with Jesus to do something if He can, Jesus' reply cuts straight through me. 'You say to Me, If You can do anything? All things are possible to him who believes! ' I have heard this verse from the time I was very young, but I never knew the context of it. I never knew how very serious Jesus was. I guess I always just thought it sounded nice, but I never took it to heart. Today I think it got through to my heart. And I love the father's response: 'Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!' What an honest, heartfelt, nothing held back, desperate plea to God. I believe in You! Help me when I struggle with my faith. I think we all struggle with doubt. I know I do. I'd say probably every day the enemy puts shades of doubt into my head, and I have to decide what I choose to believe, and stand firm on that. Sometimes my doubt gets the better of me and I really struggle to bring it under control. But this man's response models the perfect response. God, I believe You. I choose to believe in You. Help me when doubt comes.
Finally, Jesus' response to the disciples. When they finally get alone with Him, they ask, 'Lord, why couldn't we heal the boy?' I know I've had similar conversations with Him myself, when I've prayed for my children to be healed from illness, etc. What's the deal, God, why didn't that work? His answer is very matter-of-fact. 'That kind won't come out without prayer and fasting.' In other words, to really operate in the supernatural, and to see healing come about in the lives of others, it requires more than a standard attempt, which is generally accompanied with some shade of doubt (no matter how great or small the doubt is). It requires a solid, genuine, whole-hearted belief. And it requires a personal commitment - to God - to prayer and fasting - which means it requires personal sacrifice and one-on-one face time with God.
Jesus and three of His disciples had gone up to a mountain spot together and had a transforming encounter with the presence of God. On the way back down the mountain, they saw a crowd gathered near the other disciples. In the crowd was a man and his son, who was very ill.
Teacher, I brought my son to You, for he has a dumb spirit. And wherever it lays hold of him, it dashes him down and convulses him, and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth, and he falls into a motionless stupor and is wasting away. And I asked Your disciples to drive it out, and they were not able to do it.
And He answered them, O unbelieving generation [without any faith]! How long shall I have to do with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to Me.
So they brought the boy to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, at once it completely convulsed the boy, and he fell to the ground and kept rolling about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father, How long has he had this? And he answered, From the time he was a little boy. And it has often thrown him both into fire and into water, intending to kill him. But if You can do anything, do have pity on us and help us.
And Jesus said, You say to Me, If You can do anything? Why, all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
At once the father of the boy gave a cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! Constantly help my weakness of faith!
But when Jesus noticed that a crowd of people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, You dumb and deaf spirit, I charge you to come out of him and never go into him again.
And after giving a shriek of anguish and convulsing him terribly, it came out; and the boy lay [pale and motionless] like a corpse, so that many of them said, He is dead.
But Jesus took a strong grip of his hand and began lifting him up, and he stood.
And when He had gone indoors, His disciples asked Him privately, Why could not we drive it out? And He replied to them, This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting.
Wow. That passage of scripture shed some light on my issue. For being no longer than it is, there are so many things that can be read from it, but a few things, in particular, stood out to me.
The very first thing - I can totally relate to the disciples. I can so easily see myself being one of those people who tried - gave it their best, really wanted to pray for the boy and see healing, did all they knew to do - but the boy's situation remained unchanged. In my mind as I was reading, I thought, 'That's me.'
But no sooner than I thought that thought, I read the next verse where Jesus lays into them a bit - 'O unbelieving generation without any faith!' In other words, When will you ever learn? If you could just get it through your thick skulls! Bring the boy to Me, I'll do it.' I sort of felt like I was living back at home with my mom, getting scolded because she has told me something 20, or maybe 100 times and I'm just not getting it! I'm being stubborn and bull-headed, and I'm just not listening. Those kind of talkin' to's were always out of love, always because she wanted something better for me, and maybe a bit out of frustration because she couldn't seem to get through to me. And I can tell you from my fair share of experience, they weren't pleasant to endure. Well, today, I felt the sting of getting that kind of 'talkin-to' from Jesus as I read that verse.
The next thing that occurred to me is the description of the boy's condition. If I were given that description today, I would assume it was a medical condition. Sounds like he has something physically wrong with him. But the father, and Jesus, both addressed the boy's problem as a spiritual condition. Then the verse in 2 Corinthians popped into my head, 'from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view' (2 Cor. 5:16). We need to learn to look beyond the physical and regard every person in the spiritual. So, does that mean cancer can be viewed as a spiritual condition? Diabetes? MS? All of our diseases that we're not born with but that come on us at some point during life? We treat them in the physical, but should we really be regarding them in the spiritual? This definitely calls for a different perspective in praying for someones 'physical' healing.
When the father pleads with Jesus to do something if He can, Jesus' reply cuts straight through me. 'You say to Me, If You can do anything? All things are possible to him who believes! ' I have heard this verse from the time I was very young, but I never knew the context of it. I never knew how very serious Jesus was. I guess I always just thought it sounded nice, but I never took it to heart. Today I think it got through to my heart. And I love the father's response: 'Lord, I believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!' What an honest, heartfelt, nothing held back, desperate plea to God. I believe in You! Help me when I struggle with my faith. I think we all struggle with doubt. I know I do. I'd say probably every day the enemy puts shades of doubt into my head, and I have to decide what I choose to believe, and stand firm on that. Sometimes my doubt gets the better of me and I really struggle to bring it under control. But this man's response models the perfect response. God, I believe You. I choose to believe in You. Help me when doubt comes.
Finally, Jesus' response to the disciples. When they finally get alone with Him, they ask, 'Lord, why couldn't we heal the boy?' I know I've had similar conversations with Him myself, when I've prayed for my children to be healed from illness, etc. What's the deal, God, why didn't that work? His answer is very matter-of-fact. 'That kind won't come out without prayer and fasting.' In other words, to really operate in the supernatural, and to see healing come about in the lives of others, it requires more than a standard attempt, which is generally accompanied with some shade of doubt (no matter how great or small the doubt is). It requires a solid, genuine, whole-hearted belief. And it requires a personal commitment - to God - to prayer and fasting - which means it requires personal sacrifice and one-on-one face time with God.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
This year.
A few weeks ago, I spent some time looking back over the last year, and again today, as the new year begins, I find myself again reflecting on the last 12 months. I am left in awe of all that Jesus has done in my life - in my heart - in so little time. When finally I came to a place where I willingly opened up my heart to Him, holding nothing back, it was like I gave Him the green light to finally do what He has been wanting to do for so many years. He has transformed my life in so many ways, that sometimes even I don't recognize myself, especially areas of my life where I was so totally deficient before. He has filled me with a passion for Him that I could never put into words; sometimes I feel like I could truly burst if I loved Him more. He has weeded out so much of the selfishness and self-centeredness that has nearly always been present in my life, and has begun to develop in me a genuine generosity and compassion for others that I've never had. He has created in me a heart of worship and has lead me to dethrone the former gods of my life, leaving only Him as the center and focus of my heart and my attention.
The thing I realized tonight, though, as I was thinking back, is that, even through all the doubting that I have done about the effectiveness and power of my prayers, I am surrounded every day by the evidence of the effects of my very own prayers. I can see His movement in situations that seemed insurmountable when I first started praying - circumstances I couldn't imagine changing. Yet, I really am left in complete awe of Him - how easy it seems to be for Him to do the seemingly impossible. How loving it is for Him to move the way He does. And I know that my prayers have played a roll in opening the door for Him to work in these situations. Now that my eyes are finally open to it - now that I finally realize it - I am so happy. And humbled. That a God so great take actions on my behalf - on my request. That just totally blows my mind.
It continues to be my prayer and my desire to be closer to Him, to know Him better and love Him more. I want to be so completely in love with Him I can't contain it. I want to be overwhelmed by the touch of His presence. I want to be so familiar with His voice, with the way He moves, that I will know without a doubt that it is Him. I pray as I go day by day through this new year, that I will become a better mother, an invaluable wife, a more balanced woman, and a truly genuine friend. I pray that I will grow more confident in my identity in Christ - all that He has made available to me - the rights He purchased for me with His blood. I pray that I would not merely know it; not merely glimpse it on occasion; but that it would take root in my heart, infiltrating the very core of who I am, so that I would walk consistently in all that my precious Jesus has laid out before me. I know that's a tall order for one year, but I know He is capable of great things.
Happy New Year.
The thing I realized tonight, though, as I was thinking back, is that, even through all the doubting that I have done about the effectiveness and power of my prayers, I am surrounded every day by the evidence of the effects of my very own prayers. I can see His movement in situations that seemed insurmountable when I first started praying - circumstances I couldn't imagine changing. Yet, I really am left in complete awe of Him - how easy it seems to be for Him to do the seemingly impossible. How loving it is for Him to move the way He does. And I know that my prayers have played a roll in opening the door for Him to work in these situations. Now that my eyes are finally open to it - now that I finally realize it - I am so happy. And humbled. That a God so great take actions on my behalf - on my request. That just totally blows my mind.
It continues to be my prayer and my desire to be closer to Him, to know Him better and love Him more. I want to be so completely in love with Him I can't contain it. I want to be overwhelmed by the touch of His presence. I want to be so familiar with His voice, with the way He moves, that I will know without a doubt that it is Him. I pray as I go day by day through this new year, that I will become a better mother, an invaluable wife, a more balanced woman, and a truly genuine friend. I pray that I will grow more confident in my identity in Christ - all that He has made available to me - the rights He purchased for me with His blood. I pray that I would not merely know it; not merely glimpse it on occasion; but that it would take root in my heart, infiltrating the very core of who I am, so that I would walk consistently in all that my precious Jesus has laid out before me. I know that's a tall order for one year, but I know He is capable of great things.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Miracles and doubt don't mix.
It seems like I've faced a long string of challenges, all dealing with the same topic - God's ability and willingness to heal. Do I believe in miracles? Yes. When I hear stories of others being miraculously healed of crazy deadly diseases, there is not a hint of skepticism in me. I have no trouble believing the story, and believing that it was God who did the healing. When I read of the countless stories in the Bible where Jesus touched and healed people, I fully believe He did those things that are recorded. I believe He did them 2000 years ago, and I believe He can do the same, and more, today.
A few weeks ago, some friends of mine who do not usually go to church, were in church for a children's program that was going on. I was excited that they came - even the grandparents came. That night, there was a missionary couple visiting our church, and they were sharing some of the stories from their time in South America. They told amazing stories of healing and redemption. Their words, in my opinion, were very uplifting and encouraging. However, my friends obviously didn't feel the same, because about 20 minutes into their time of sharing, the entire family, from kids to grandparents, got up and walked out. From across the room, I watched them go, wishing they would want to stay, but knowing that God was in control. Later that evening, I went over to their house to take them some cookies that were left from the children's reception. I was totally caught off guard when one of the kids asked me point blank if I really believe the stuff the missionaries had shared - in particular, a story of a man being cured from HIV. I said that, yes, I did in fact believe them. I had no reason not to. I was met again with heavy doubt and skepticism, and even anger. 'Why can a man who deserves to have AIDS be cured when babies die of cancer?' 'How is that even possible? HIV is a blood disease - how can it just disappear?' My response was this: God created the body, and God can heal the body. No, I don't understand why some are healed and some are not. But I know that God is big enough and fully capable of everything those missionaries described. Maybe 2 years ago I would not have believed their stories, because then I didn't know God the way I know Him now. But I do know Him, and I truly believe that God is capable of everything they described and more.
That being said, I find myself in quite the contradiction. I tried to pray this morning for myself - simply that God would clear out a head cold that has been bugging me for a few weeks now. As I was praying - I mean, literally, even as the words were coming out of my mouth - my head and heart were flooded with doubts. It's just a head-cold, it doesn't require miraculous intervention. God's got more to worry about than my stuffy nose and sinuses. I'll propbably just end up having to call the doctor and get another perscription for a sinus infection. And on and on. WHY!!!! Why can I believe other people's miracle stories, but I can't believe God to be willing to heal me of something that would take no effort at all? Do I think I don't deserve to ask God for healing? Do I think He doesn't want to be bothered with my tiny little troubles? True, there are much more pressing matters in the world, but isn't He capable of dealing with all of it, including my headache? Or will this one little request put Him over the top and He'll drop all the balls He's juggling? What is my deal? Why can I not believe for the tiniest little things in my own life?
And it doesn't stop there. I totally believe that God wants to heal others, but I am hesitant to pray for their healing. If someone else were to do the praying, it would be all good - no faith issues on my part. I'll give you an example. There is a little boy I know who has been diagnosed with cancer. His parents have had people in their home praying with them on various occassions. I've visited twice, taken small things here and there to help out with groceries or whatever, but have never offered to pray with them. The first time I went, I went with the intentions of praying, but when the time came, I didn't feel like I should. The second time, I don't think I really even intended to pray with them. I think all of my prayers for miracles right now are prefaced with a cloud of doubt, and I don't know how to get past it. But what's the point of praying when it would be immediately undone by my own doubt? So I keep quiet.
Am I afraid to believe for healing and then be disappointed? Am I afraid to pray with someone for a miracle in their lives and have it not come to pass? Why? Would it be a reflection on me, or on God if no healing came? Am I trying to protect my reputation? Am I trying to protect what others think of Him? Surely I do not need to protect Him - I'm certain He is capable of looking out for and upholding His own reputation. Isn't this the same God I fully beleive healed a man of HIV? Yes, the very same. Will it really hurt to believe for something and not see it come to pass? It will never be if I do not believe for it. And if I believe for a lot, and get a little, I've still got more than I would ever have had if I stayed in doubt. I NEED to move past this. I cannot accept living life with clouds of doubt hanging over every prayer I pray. I cannot.
I was in the shower this morning, thinking over these things I've just written. And I kept doubting that a head cold was really worth praying about. Then God reminded me of something. He is the very same God who has numbered the hairs on my head, and who knows every step I take, every thought I think, and every dream I dream. He is the God who is the giver of every good and perfect thing. Nothing evil comes from Him. A cold is just as contrary to His design for my body as is cancer or HIV or any other critical disease. It is not His design for me to suffer. It is His intention and desire for me to be well, healed and whole.
I've heard it. I know it. I just have to believe it.
And blessed (happy, to be envied) is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her from the Lord. (Luke 1:45)
But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
A few weeks ago, some friends of mine who do not usually go to church, were in church for a children's program that was going on. I was excited that they came - even the grandparents came. That night, there was a missionary couple visiting our church, and they were sharing some of the stories from their time in South America. They told amazing stories of healing and redemption. Their words, in my opinion, were very uplifting and encouraging. However, my friends obviously didn't feel the same, because about 20 minutes into their time of sharing, the entire family, from kids to grandparents, got up and walked out. From across the room, I watched them go, wishing they would want to stay, but knowing that God was in control. Later that evening, I went over to their house to take them some cookies that were left from the children's reception. I was totally caught off guard when one of the kids asked me point blank if I really believe the stuff the missionaries had shared - in particular, a story of a man being cured from HIV. I said that, yes, I did in fact believe them. I had no reason not to. I was met again with heavy doubt and skepticism, and even anger. 'Why can a man who deserves to have AIDS be cured when babies die of cancer?' 'How is that even possible? HIV is a blood disease - how can it just disappear?' My response was this: God created the body, and God can heal the body. No, I don't understand why some are healed and some are not. But I know that God is big enough and fully capable of everything those missionaries described. Maybe 2 years ago I would not have believed their stories, because then I didn't know God the way I know Him now. But I do know Him, and I truly believe that God is capable of everything they described and more.
That being said, I find myself in quite the contradiction. I tried to pray this morning for myself - simply that God would clear out a head cold that has been bugging me for a few weeks now. As I was praying - I mean, literally, even as the words were coming out of my mouth - my head and heart were flooded with doubts. It's just a head-cold, it doesn't require miraculous intervention. God's got more to worry about than my stuffy nose and sinuses. I'll propbably just end up having to call the doctor and get another perscription for a sinus infection. And on and on. WHY!!!! Why can I believe other people's miracle stories, but I can't believe God to be willing to heal me of something that would take no effort at all? Do I think I don't deserve to ask God for healing? Do I think He doesn't want to be bothered with my tiny little troubles? True, there are much more pressing matters in the world, but isn't He capable of dealing with all of it, including my headache? Or will this one little request put Him over the top and He'll drop all the balls He's juggling? What is my deal? Why can I not believe for the tiniest little things in my own life?
And it doesn't stop there. I totally believe that God wants to heal others, but I am hesitant to pray for their healing. If someone else were to do the praying, it would be all good - no faith issues on my part. I'll give you an example. There is a little boy I know who has been diagnosed with cancer. His parents have had people in their home praying with them on various occassions. I've visited twice, taken small things here and there to help out with groceries or whatever, but have never offered to pray with them. The first time I went, I went with the intentions of praying, but when the time came, I didn't feel like I should. The second time, I don't think I really even intended to pray with them. I think all of my prayers for miracles right now are prefaced with a cloud of doubt, and I don't know how to get past it. But what's the point of praying when it would be immediately undone by my own doubt? So I keep quiet.
Am I afraid to believe for healing and then be disappointed? Am I afraid to pray with someone for a miracle in their lives and have it not come to pass? Why? Would it be a reflection on me, or on God if no healing came? Am I trying to protect my reputation? Am I trying to protect what others think of Him? Surely I do not need to protect Him - I'm certain He is capable of looking out for and upholding His own reputation. Isn't this the same God I fully beleive healed a man of HIV? Yes, the very same. Will it really hurt to believe for something and not see it come to pass? It will never be if I do not believe for it. And if I believe for a lot, and get a little, I've still got more than I would ever have had if I stayed in doubt. I NEED to move past this. I cannot accept living life with clouds of doubt hanging over every prayer I pray. I cannot.
I was in the shower this morning, thinking over these things I've just written. And I kept doubting that a head cold was really worth praying about. Then God reminded me of something. He is the very same God who has numbered the hairs on my head, and who knows every step I take, every thought I think, and every dream I dream. He is the God who is the giver of every good and perfect thing. Nothing evil comes from Him. A cold is just as contrary to His design for my body as is cancer or HIV or any other critical disease. It is not His design for me to suffer. It is His intention and desire for me to be well, healed and whole.
I've heard it. I know it. I just have to believe it.
And blessed (happy, to be envied) is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her from the Lord. (Luke 1:45)
But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
Monday, December 3, 2007
Looking Back
As I'm feeling a bit on the tired side tonight, I decided to do a little bit of not very much. One thing led to another, and I soon found myself reading old (OLD) blog posts...like from the first few months that I did this blog.
It was quite a trip down memory lane, and I find that this blog is serving the purpose I was hoping it would serve by giving me a place to look back and see what I had documented - what I was walking through and studying and learning and thinking about. Very cool to see some things that have come full-circle in the past 10 months. Very funny to recall things I had forgotten I had gone through. Awesome to see how God has worked - how He has brought me through some really tough spots and taught me how to get close to Him. It's cool to see where I was at the start of some of the journeys, and where I am now (probably somewhere in the middle).
I think what's the most incredible to me, though, is that it's evidence in my own life of the truth of God's word. His word promises to continually change and transform us more and more into His likeness. He promises that we will learn and grow from glory to glory. That we will advance line upon line...one step at a time, building on what we've already learned. When I really take time to examine some of the areas of my life that He has transformed, I'm floored. I know I still have a long way to go, but I never imagined such change was possible in so little time.
He promises that if we will seek Him, He will reveal Himself to us. If we believe in Him, cling to Him, rely on Him, trust in Him, He will make Himself known to us. If we seek Him first, everything else will fall into place. As I was looking back through my last 10 months of posts, I can remember some of those crazy difficult struggles - times of total confusion and darkness and doubt. And it's so cool to me to know where I am now in comparison to only 9 or 10 months ago. At times then I struggled with some pretty heavy doubts and questions. Because I chose to seek God and do what He asked of me, even though it made no sense to me whatsoever at the time, and I often did it out of sheer determination rather than a real desire, He not only cleared the doubts and answered the questions, but He replaced those doubts with an absolute assurance of all I had once doubted. Too sweet!
Lots of lessons I've learned in the past almost-year. Lots of struggles and trials and moments of failure. Lots of repentance and prayer and LOTS of depending on God to get me through things that were far bigger than me. There have been times that God has totally brought me to my knees so that He could then lift me up higher. But my favorite thing about the last several months is that He has taught me how to BE with Him. How to just sit in His presence and know Him and seek Him and worship and wait on Him. Back in March I determined that it was my purpose to know Him more. I have. And it continues to be my purpose. I hope that next year I will look back and see how much farther I have come. To know Him more will always be my purpose until He calls me away from this life, because I will never know Him fully until I can look full-on into His face.
God is awesome.
It was quite a trip down memory lane, and I find that this blog is serving the purpose I was hoping it would serve by giving me a place to look back and see what I had documented - what I was walking through and studying and learning and thinking about. Very cool to see some things that have come full-circle in the past 10 months. Very funny to recall things I had forgotten I had gone through. Awesome to see how God has worked - how He has brought me through some really tough spots and taught me how to get close to Him. It's cool to see where I was at the start of some of the journeys, and where I am now (probably somewhere in the middle).
I think what's the most incredible to me, though, is that it's evidence in my own life of the truth of God's word. His word promises to continually change and transform us more and more into His likeness. He promises that we will learn and grow from glory to glory. That we will advance line upon line...one step at a time, building on what we've already learned. When I really take time to examine some of the areas of my life that He has transformed, I'm floored. I know I still have a long way to go, but I never imagined such change was possible in so little time.
He promises that if we will seek Him, He will reveal Himself to us. If we believe in Him, cling to Him, rely on Him, trust in Him, He will make Himself known to us. If we seek Him first, everything else will fall into place. As I was looking back through my last 10 months of posts, I can remember some of those crazy difficult struggles - times of total confusion and darkness and doubt. And it's so cool to me to know where I am now in comparison to only 9 or 10 months ago. At times then I struggled with some pretty heavy doubts and questions. Because I chose to seek God and do what He asked of me, even though it made no sense to me whatsoever at the time, and I often did it out of sheer determination rather than a real desire, He not only cleared the doubts and answered the questions, but He replaced those doubts with an absolute assurance of all I had once doubted. Too sweet!
Lots of lessons I've learned in the past almost-year. Lots of struggles and trials and moments of failure. Lots of repentance and prayer and LOTS of depending on God to get me through things that were far bigger than me. There have been times that God has totally brought me to my knees so that He could then lift me up higher. But my favorite thing about the last several months is that He has taught me how to BE with Him. How to just sit in His presence and know Him and seek Him and worship and wait on Him. Back in March I determined that it was my purpose to know Him more. I have. And it continues to be my purpose. I hope that next year I will look back and see how much farther I have come. To know Him more will always be my purpose until He calls me away from this life, because I will never know Him fully until I can look full-on into His face.
God is awesome.
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These are just my thoughts on things related to my daily walk with God. I've always been a journal-keeper, and this is the area that demands most of the space in every journal I've ever kept. This is my passion, and I hope that by sharing my thoughts on the things I'm going through, I might be able to bless you in some way. Enjoy.
